HEALING CONNECTIONS

A few years ago, I went to see a musical play entitled “Issues” at the Columbus River Center. It was a great play, very entertaining and featured some great music from some of my favorite artists. I came away from the play reminded of the fact that behind the carefully varnished veneer that we often wear to survive, we all have “issues” that we are dealing with. Even the most successful amongst us are often dealing with personal or family problems that would boggle the mind if we knew the whole story. That’s why this time of the year can often be very difficult for many of us, because this is the time when we want to spend quality time with family and friends and if you don’t have any real authentic relationships in your life, the Holidays can be very lonely times. Studies show that episodes of depression usually go up during this time of the year.

In my last blog entry, I asked the question “is the Gospel still relevant” because I wanted to spark a dialogue to what the real significance of the “Good News” about Jesus really is in a world that is dominated by a system that is only concerned with the pleasures and goals of the day. We are told from a young age that the primary goal in life is to “succeed” and by “succeed” we mean attain material wealth and hopefully leave a nice inheritance for our kids. We are told that to achieve this goal, we should get a quality education, preferably including a college or even postgraduate degree, which would supposedly help us achieve this dream, a dream sometimes referred to as the “American dream”; and while there is nothing inherently wrong with this getting a quality education as it is definitely beneficial to get all the education that you can get, this goal of trying to “succeed” often so consumes us that by the time we realize that it is not fulfilling, we are often too boggled down in trying to achieve it that we are literally worn out. In the process many of us cannot see the degree to which “the system” that we adore and worship (call it capitalism, “free market”, or whatever term you would like to use) inherently feeds off of our “issues” to keep the cycle going. While you’re sitting there during the little downtime that you have from your hectic schedule, watching TV or surfing the net, you are bombarded by a myriad of commercials promising you “heaven on earth” if you would just purchase their product or service. So you use money you don’t have to get more stuff or services only to have to work harder to pay of bills that are now piling up like a pyramid. In the process you stay at a job that you can’t stand because you can’t afford to quit or pursue your real dream because of all your bills and financial commitments, and the cycle just keeps going on and on. In the process, our very insecurities are used to bait us into the cycle of “more stuff” because behind every insecurity is a product or service that some corporation or entity is going to try and sell you under the illusion that all your problems would be solved if you just trust them and their products.

Deep down inside what we really need is quality relationships that are rooted in God’s love. The lyrics to the classic song by Hal David called “what the world needs now is love” ring true today as much as they did when they were first written: “what the world needs now is love, more love, it’s the one thing that there is just too little of…” I love the Luther Vandross rendition of the song. We need this kind of divine love manifested in healing connections and relationships to get relief from the madness that is life in today’s world. But this kind of love will continue to elude us as long as we keep perverting the Gospel with erroneous statements like “God helps those who helps themselves” or “time heals all wounds”. God did not create us to live in isolation and independence is a myth that does not fulfill. Didn’t Jesus say that “apart from me you can do nothing”, so where do we get the impression that we can help ourselves? And if we could help ourselves, why would we need God, why would we need each other? To the wounded, time in a vacuum does not heal wounds, it only buries them, we all need loving and authentic relationships in order to heal. God never separates our need for Him from our need for one another, because it is only in relationships that God’s love can ever be truly manifested. People are really hurting out there, and you will be shocked to know the problems of people whom you think “have it all together”. Some are depressed, some are terribly lonely even though they have all kinds of people always around them, some are suicidal, others are struggling with secret obsessions and addictions. etc. But because we are so busy comparing performance-score cards and being beholden to world systems that judges people this way, we cannot embrace the message of God’s grace, which always opens the door to even the most despised amongst us. If there is one message that this holiday season should echo during Christmas time is that there is a place at the table for everyone; yes, even you, the runaway; yes, even you the struggling addict; yes, even you with the disillusioned soul; yes, even you, who was badly beaten and battered physically or mentally; yes, even you with the shattered faith because of personal tragedy. But how will these people know this if we don’t embrace them with grace and not judgment? I know that the deepest desire that I have always had is to not be rejected even in my brokenness, and I know that this desire is universal, we all want to be loved and it is not enough to tell people that an abstract “god” loves them unconditionally, if they don’t see the love of God in the way that we treat them.

Author & counselor Paul Tournier once wrote that “I am convinced that nine out of ten of every persons seeing a psychiatrist do not need one…They need somebody who will love them with God’s love..and they will get well.” If there is anything that this quote underscores is that we need an infusion of more healing and loving communities. Not that there is anything wrong with seeking professional counseling or treatment, but one of the primary reasons why people have to go this route is because there are barely any safe places where people feel that they can bare their souls without being wrongfully judged and condemned.

As the recent economic crisis has proved the very god that we have worshipped (capitalism, “The Market” etc) is proving to have its flaws because not only does it not satisfy the soul or give us the love that we so desperately crave, but the greed that it promotes is not easily legislated, no matter how many brilliant minds and economists you put in charge. How can we establish healing connections when we are beholden to a system that grades the value of every relationship on a shifting performance scale? Did Jesus not do away with this system when he came to show us that there can be no bragging rights in God’s sight because even the most religious amongst us are still fallible?

May you know and share God’s grace and compassion this Christmas season and always.

Peace and love to you
Stephen Akinduro

Is the Gospel still relevant?

Is the Gospel still relevant today? "What a dumb question", you may be saying to yourself. "Of course it is", you may say, "people need to know Jesus so that they don't go to hell and burn forever."

Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to negate the huge significance of Jesus role in redeeming us from the consequences of our sin and fallibility, but other than "going to heaven when you die", is that all the Gospel is good for? Have we so domesticated the message of the Gospel that all that matters is if I am "getting mine?" Getting "my ticket to heaven", "my blessings", "my favor" etc? The Gospel literally means "Good News" and in a world where we are constantly reminded of everything that is wrong around us, especially with a weak economy, we all could surely use some Good News right about now. I am struck by the words of Jesus when he made his ministry "official" as recounted in Luke chapter 4:

"God's Spirit is on me; he's chosen me to preach the Message of good news to the poor, Sent me to announce pardon to prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, To set the burdened and battered free, to announce, "This is God's year to act!" (The Message)

Notice, he makes no reference to simply "going to heaven when you die", rather he spoke to the suffering conditions of the "poor", "prisoners", "blind" & "battered". You may be wondering what I am getting at. I am saying that simply telling suffering persons that they are going to heaven when they die because they said a prayer, albeit very sincere, without trying to help address the conditions of their suffering practically negates our "Good News". Bishop Desmond Tutu used to give the illustration in many of his speeches, saying that when the colonizers came to South Africa, "they brought the Bible while we (native South Africans) had the land; the colonizers told us "let us pray, and when we opened our eyes (after the prayer), they had the land, and we had the Bible!" Although they (the colonizers) claimed to mean well, the very people who were bringing "the Gospel" perverted its message to justify a system of apartheid that lasted for several years. Also today, it seems that all we are concerned with is making sure people "say the sinners prayer so that they go to heaven when they die", but if you don't address the conditions that continue to exacerbate suffering in their lives, your "Good News" falls on deaf ears. Jesus was and continues to be a threat to the status-quo because he came to "shake things up" he came to say that "the people whom you think don't deserve love, actually need it the most, love is not a function of whether you deserve it or no, it just is...". I came to alleviate the suffering of those who need relief amongst you....

This is why glimpses of God's Grace are so refreshing in our world, like the recent story of the multimillionaire, Earl W. Stafford, who personally has used about $1 million of his money to recently rent out 300 rooms in one of the most expensive hotels in Washington, the J.W. Marriott Hotel, for people to attend the Inauguration of president-elect Barack Obama. (for the full story, go to this link: http://wcbstv.com/politics/inauguration.obama.disadvanatged.2.880871.html

Who is Mr. Stafford doing this for? Not the elite, but for the disadvantaged, the homeless and wounded veterans who cannot afford to go on their own. For what he is paying, they also get about $200,000 worth of food and drinks during their stay and a heated and tented balcony overlooking the parade route. Sounds much like the story Jesus told in Luke 14 about the banquet for the poor, crippled and homeless. Glimpses of God's grace in today's world.

In a world where economic indicators continue to show the rising gap between rich and poor, it is not simply enough to tell people that they are going to heaven when they die. We can ignore these facts if we want to, but as long as there are people around the world in developing countries who are only making less than $1 a week, the doors of free- trade will demand that corporations take their manufacturing jobs to those areas at the peril of working class folk in developed nations. I was watching an HBO special where kids in India were literally being rented out to major corporations to make soccer balls that were being sold in major chains even here in the US. The kids were being paid pennies on the dollar while the corporations reaped the huge profit. You know the irony of the matter? The balls had labels on them that said "no child labor being used." The producer of the documentary tried to talk to the CEO of the chain where the balls were being sold, but he was unavailable for comment. We claim ignorance when uncomfortable facts stare us in the face...

Is the Gospel still relevant today? Not if all we talk about is "going to heaven when you die" negating the real suffering of people around us negates the very message that is supposed to be at the core of what we celebrate this time of the year - love. This is why it is impossible to separate the individual aspect of the Gospel (personal salvation) from the social aspect of it (helping and loving each other). To do one without the other is to have an incomplete message..


Recommended reading:

"Everything must change" by Brian D. McLaren.
"Jesus Wants to save Christians" by Rob Bell

LOVING THE 'OTHER" - reflections on the Christmas Holidays.

The word “love” is one of the most used words in the English language, and yet it is often misconstrued and perverted by selfish agendas. What does it mean to really love others? During festive times like the Christmas holidays, we rightfully tend to reach out to others in gestures of goodwill. We also reach out to those whom we barely pay any attention to during the rest of the year. This is a great thing that would be even more phenomenal if we did it more often, not just as a commercial gesture to mark the times or “Holiday season”. And while many of us may not be able to make many of the kinds of financial commitments that we make this time of the year because of the current economic recession, we can still spend time with one another and reach out to those whom we may not have otherwise connected with. We can forgive and we can mend broken relationships in reconciliation. After all, if we are to take any lessons from the life of Jesus, the true test of love is not in necessarily reaching out to those whom we agree with or admire because of their superior moral conduct , but in reaching out to the “others” whom we tend to despise for one reason or another.

If there was one thing that got Jesus into trouble with the religious sects of his day, it was His tendency to mingle and “hang-out” with the despised of society. I can hear it now, “look at him, he is eating with sinners: prostitutes, pimps, rogues and outcasts.” Who are the "devious sinners" and outcasts of today? Well, it depends on which group you are a part of. If you are Christian, you may not be fond of Muslims and vice-versa; if you are conservative, you may not be fond of liberals and liberals are often not too fond of conservatives; if you are an atheist or agnostic, you may not be fond of religious folk, just as most religious folk may be suspicious of anyone who claims not to believe in God. Many straight people can’t stand those who are gay and believe they are a key reason for the moral decay of society. “Law abiding citizens” are suspicious of ex-cons or people caught up in the criminal justice system..etc The cycle of hatred and dissension just keeps going round and round, there is always some “other” to despise or hate. I have been just as guilty of this societal trend as the next person As long as I can find someone out there whom I disapprove of politically, philosophically, ideologically or because of their perceived moral failings from my vantage point, I can justify some form of rejection. But this is a perversion of the Gospel, the Gospel of Grace for all which basically says we are all in the same boat morally and need the same love from our Father. Jesus’ story of the prodigal son (in Luke 15:11-31) is really not so much about the rebellion of the wayward son as it is the love of a father for his two boys. One of the boys, the morally upstanding one, is furious that his younger brother has not only prematurely asked for his share of his inheritance, but has gone out there and squandered it on every form of lascivious behavior possible. In today’s society, it would be like taking millions of dollars to Las Vegas and squandering it all on gambling, wild parties and prostitutes.. Even more frustrating to this older son is the fact that his father not only accepts the brother back when he returns but throws a lavish party for him. In that culture and time, the younger brother could literally have been stoned to death for such wayward behavior, which would have been considered a serious form of rebellion against his dad. It’s like the older brother was saying, “Is this the reward I get for living my life by all the moral rules? I do all the great things, went to the right Ivy League college, got the degree, help run the family business, and you let this rascal just come back after he has embarrassed the family name, and not only that…you have the audacity to throw him a huge party like he has just done us proud or something?” The older brother has trouble loving the “other”. While I used to often relate more to the younger brother because I know how many times in my life I have failed and made the wrong choices, I also know that at other times I have been the older brother, condescendingly judging the failures of others. There is a little of both the older brother and younger brother in all of us, but the great news about the story is that the Father loves both of them.

Anyone with children will tell you that when it is your child that is in question, the dynamic is totally different. It is easy to talk about “those criminals” until you get that call from the local jail, your child is in trouble and needs to be bailed out; It is easy to talk about those “prostitutes and drug users”, until you find out that your child has been selling her body to support a drug habit that she has hidden for years; it is easy to talk about the “selfishness of suicide” until one of your loved ones or friends takes their life after a battle with despair; it is easy to talk about those gay people and their “perverse political agenda” until you find out that your child wants to tell you something, “mom, dad, I am gay!”; It is easy to talk about those liberals / conservatives, until you find out that your child identifies himself or herself with the political ideology that you despise. Parents know of situations like these all too well.

Love is a fluid entity that flows from person to person, community to community, a product of realizing how loved we really are. Hatred in an unfortunate product of our inner wounds and not realizing how loved we really are. This is why hurting people tend to hurt other people. To be able to love the “other” (whoever the other is for you) is a true test of what love really is. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could hold on to this thought not just during the Christmas holidays but all year long. While we may idolize independence, we were not created to be independent, we were created for loving relationships, and the material and non-material idols that we worship, the products of what we popularly call “success” or “making it”, cannot fill the void that we so desperately seek in loving communion with one another.

Stephen O. Akinduro