God's Grace

2012-01-02T08:45:00.000-08:00

GRACE

"God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant." Romans 5:20 (NLT)

Over the past few years I have become more and more disillusioned with religion. Let me clarify what I mean by the word "religion", because the term is often used to describe the various faiths of the world. When I say "religion" I mean any institutional system that seeks to base our self worth on the ability to keep a set of moral rules and regulations; any system that seeks to dole out a ticket to heaven and blessings by the god of that religion based on the people's ability to obey the unique regulations of that religious sect. These religious systems I refer to are inherently self-righteous because they promote an "us" vs "them" mentality, or a "those-who-keep-the-right-rules-and-believe-the-right-things" vs. "those-who-don't" dichotomy.

What I quickly discovered in my religious years when I was literally wearing myself out trying to obey God enough to love me and heal my broken soul (while securing a place for me in heaven) is that I could never even get close to reaching the level of perfection that was necessary, and it seemed that the rules kept changing depending on whose interpretation of the Bible you accepted. It is no wonder there are thousands of Christian denominations worldwide.

It has been during this spiritual journey, or evolution, that my acceptance of God's grace through Jesus has not only been solidified, but my love and appreciation for God increased exponentially. "Grace" is a very dangerous word, because it goes against practically everything we are taught from the moment we come out of the womb. Grace at its core means "unearned love or love that comes free of charge, regardless of performance". The world tends to base "love" on performance, God's grace shows we could not perform in accordance to the perfection of the Law anyway, no matter how hard we try:

The world's system insists that there is no such thing as a free lunch; God's grace insists that the price for true love is not only infinitely more than we could ever pay, but it is already covered through Jesus, hence free for us (He pays so we don't have to).
The world's system loves to put people into categories, grace insists that love is available free of charge to all, regardless of race, gender, creed, occupation. Grace is the great equalizer where our petty differences are rendered null and void.
The world operates on a code of self-righteousness where the mantra is "I do, therefore I am and I deserve"; Grace shows us that God blesses us not because of our performance, but despite our flaws. Based on Biblical law, no one is performing well enough anyway, and if you think you are,
you need to stop drinking the proverbial religious "kool aid"
Religion always operates under the assumption that "compared to so and so, I am not that bad", Grace refuses to fall for this subtle trick of deception, instead recognized the need we all have for unconditional love, forgiveness and eternal redemption provided through Jesus.
The world and religion ration out "love" based on the recipient's performance. God's love is a free gift.

So why is the message of God's grace so misunderstood and rarely grasped by even the most dedicated followers of Jesus? Because it is radical, and some preachers believe teaching unadulterated grace will lead to people abusing the message. Besides, it sounds too good to be true - and we 've heard the expression, "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is". I would say this is generally true, with one exception, when it comes to God's grace, His unconditional love. I can honestly say that if it were not for this message, I would have given up hope a long time ago. I have no use for religion, it has done me more harm than good, made me condemn myself in ways that I could not articulate in a blog. As a perfectionist, failure is NOT an option for me, and I am my harshest critic. What I need is the assurance that no matter how many times I fall, my identity as God's child is secure because His love never ceases.

Ironically, Grace is supposed to be Christianity's unique contribution to the world, as Philip Yancey points out in his award winning book, "What's so Amazing about Grace?":

"During a British conference on comparative religions, experts from around the world debated what, if any, belief was unique to the Christian faith. They began eliminating possibilities. Incarnation? Other religions had different versions of gods appearing in human form. Ressurection? Again, other religions had accounts of return from death. The debate went on from some time until C.S. Lewis wandered into the room. "What's the rumpus?" he asked, and heard in reply that his colleagues were discusing Christianity's unique contribution among world religions. Lewis responded, "Oh, that's easy. It's grace."

After some discussion, the conferees had to agree. The notion of God's love coming to us free of charge, no strings attached, seems to go against every instinct of humanity. The Buddhist eight-fold path, the Hindu doctrine of karma, the Jewish covenant, and Muslim code of law - each of these offers a way to earn approval. Only Christianity dares to make God's love unconditional."

C.S. Lewis is one of the great spiritual writers of the 20th century (Chronicles of Narnia, Mere Christianity), so those are powerful words. This is why I believe Jesus remains the most influential person the world has ever known: His manifestation of God's love is unparalleled, especially towards those who feel unlovable for whatever reason. Have you ever been rejected or condemned by those whom you trusted would not do so? By so-called friends/family/acquaintances? Then you are in good company and there is acceptance available free of charge without the silliness of religion.

A great friend of mine, Jim Lee, has penned an awesome book on the subject of God's grace. The book is titled "Broken Roads to Grace" and is available at www.brokenroadstograce.com. It is inexpensive and shipping is free. If you buy 4 copies, you get the 5th one free. It is not only a great read, and I am not just saying this because he's my friend, but is would make for a wonderful book club discussion. Jim was a pastor for several years and he is open and authentic about his weariness from religious fervor and his discovery of God's grace. I love the book so much I agreed to write a blurb on the back cover recommending it because of its sheer authenticity. Some of the confessions and things he discusses in the book are rarely discussed in religious circles because religion tends to promote the wearing of self-righteous masks that stifle honest dialogue.

I wish you and your entire family an abundance of grace, peace and serenity in 2012. May your heart's desires be fulfilled this year.

Peace and Love,
Stephen

2011-12-02T12:01:00.000-08:00

OVERCOMING HOLIDAY BLUES.

It's that time of the year again. The Christmas holiday season is upon us. Let the frenzy begin; parties to attend, gifts to buy, food to eat (and in the new year, weight to be lost...lol), drinks to be had, let's have fun and be merry.

Unfortunately, with the holidays often comes despair for some, especially for those who may be lonely, broke, recently divorced, broken up from a relationship, or have lost a significant other to death recently. We tend to miss deceased loved ones the most during this time of the year. The holidays tend to exacerbate the despair that some already struggle with, especially in these difficult economic times. Medical experts recognize the increase in episodes of Seasonal Affective Disorder (with the eerily appropriate acronym, S.A.D.) during this time of the year. SAD is manifested by an increase in episodes of depression, loss of interest in usual activities, excessive sleep and isolation, and increase in "comfort eating". And while the exact causes of SAD are not known, the shorter days and decreased periods of sunlight may be a contributing factor, as this lack of light may upset your sleep-wake cycle and other circadian rhythms (the body's biological clock is influenced and regulated by light and darkness) . And it may cause problems with a brain chemical called serotonin that affects mood. http://www.webmd.com/depression/tc/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad-topic-overview

And I have not even mentioned the fact that the Holidays can put an unusual amount on pressure on some to buy the perfect gifts, even as they struggle to make ends meet. After all, your child wants that latest toy, your husband needs that latest gadget or tool kit, the wife wants that new tennis bracelet and your sister won't forgive you if you don't get her that new smart phone you promised her for Christmas. And other than family members, there may be others on the Christmas list for whom we have to buy gifts. Someone once said that we fret over "buying gifts we cannot afford, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't even like." Personally, I won't say I am that cynical, some of us do actually like those whom we purchase gifts for. But the financial strain people tend to go under during this time of the year cannot be denied, even though there is a paradox in that the economy relies on sales from this Holiday season to keep certain jobs and keep corporations in the Black (hence the term "black Friday").

But enough about the despair of the holidays. The primary focus of this blog is to give you tips on not getting overwhelmed during the Holidays and actually having fun. Here are some tips that have helped me over the years:

Limit spending to what you can afford. This may sound obvious, but it is so tempting during this time of the year to get into more debt with credit cards and charge cards in order to get that great deal. Ultimately, however, these bills have to be paid, and sometimes the best thing to do is set up a holiday funds account for this time of the year, so you actually pay as you go, only spending what you have allocated for this time. No more, no less. Just a suggestion. You don't have to keep up with what everyone else is buying, especially if you are secure in your spiritual identity.
Think of alternative gift ideas: Gifts don't have to be lavish and expensive. Take a friend out to eat, spend quality time with a friend by going to a movie. Spend time with friends and family. Have a real life face-to-face conversation and interaction with someone (as opposed to texting, IM or social media). Write a handwritten poem or essay to your loved one about how much they mean to you and read it to them before giving it to them as a keepsake. Reconcile with that former friend or family member whom you've been feuding with for some time. Sometimes the best gifts are truly priceless and don't have to be expensive or come wrapped in a box under the tree.
Engage in hobbies you enjoy: What are the things that you thoroughly enjoy doing that bring you joy? Writing, reading, praying, sports, listening to music, watching movies, exercise, shopping (okay, maybe not shopping, remember we're trying to stay out of debt..lol). When you find yourself getting down, engage in one of these activities when you have the time to do so.
Remember your friends are there for you: A true friend is there for you no matter what. They know your ups and your downs and love you anyway. if you need to reach out during a difficult time, do it. A true friend is there for you when you need them. Count yourself blessed if you even only have one such true friend.
Volunteer: Doing volunteer work really helps put things in perspective, especially if you volunteer for organizations or groups that help the less fortunate amongst us. There is so much need out there, and God's love is best manifested when it is given to those who cannot pay you back.
Remember the reason for the season: yes, it is a cliche, but Jesus is the reason for the season. He came to not only show us the essence of love and why loving Him means loving others, but He also came to be the ultimate sacrifice for our fallibility that we may not be consumed by guilt, shame and a sense of inferiority. This message easily gets lost in our frantic consumerism, but it is still crucial and worth remembering. Be grateful for even the little things, because tomorrow is promised to none of us.

In closing, I would like to leave you with the video for one of my favorite Christmas songs, "The Christmas Song" by Nat King Cole. I wish you, yours, and your entire family a great Christmas filled with love, laughter, forgiveness and the joy that defies understanding.

Peace and Love,

Stephen O. Akinduro

2011-09-29T10:11:00.000-07:00

Overcoming Stigma

".... and with all thy getting, get understanding." Proverbs 4:7b King James Version

The primary reason why we often refuse to talk about mental illness in our society is the stigma associated with the topic. The American Heritage College Dictionary defines "stigma" as "a mark or token of infamy, disgrace, or reproach". Stigma is synonymous with shame and embarrassment. Who wants to be associated with disorders that society uses to label people as "crazy", "loony" or "cuckoo", amongst other non-flattering terms?

The problem is there is too much misinformation and ignorance when it comes to mental illnesses and other brain disorders. Ignorance is not bliss, and it feeds into these negative myths and stereotypes. One of the more common myths about mental illness includes the erroneous belief that it is simply a sign of character weakness or spiritual immaturity. With this faulty assumption, more focus is often given to the bad behavior stemming from poor mental health, instead of the the underlying disorder requiring treatment.

Fortunately though, more people are getting educated about the truths pertaining to mental illnesses. Some of the more common disorders include: clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is very common amongst returning soldiers). According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 1 in 4 Americans will be affected by a mental illness in any given year. Untreated mental disorders are amongst the leading cause for job unproductiveness and disability in the United States. Untreated mental illnesses often also leads to co-occurring disorders like drug and alcohol addiction and other negative behaviors. Most suicides are related to untreated mental illness. With facts like these, we cannot afford to stay in the dark when it comes to these disorders and their treatment.

A friend of mine recently wrote a book that could easily serve as a cautionary tale when it comes to the importance of taking care of one's mental health; Yolanda King Stephen writes an excellent memoir, "The Upside of the Down Low - A pastor's wife's memoir" based on her experiences with her late husband, who was a prominent African-American pastor and leader (for more information on the book and getting an advance copy, you can go to her website http://www.upsidebook.com/ . It will be available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles on October 25th, 2011).

In the book, she chronicles her life with her husband and the spiritual resilience that it took for her to deal with his struggles and secrets that challenged the marriage and eventually led to his death, an incident that rocked her local community. I highly recommend the book because it humanizes issues that we are often scared to talk about, especially in the black and Latino community. The stigma surrounding mental illness is already great, but it is even greater in many minority communities with the popular assumption that mental illness is rooted in a character flaw. I won't use this essay to talk about my own personal struggles, I have done that before in the past. I would just like to bring some more awareness to a taboo subject.

It is for many of the aforementioned reasons that I am an active member of NAMI - the National Alliance on Mental Illness. NAMI is the largest education, support and advocacy organization that serves the needs of all whose lives are touched by these illnesses. This includes persons with mental illness, their families, friends, employers, the law enforcement community and policy makers. The NAMI organization is composed of approximately 1100 local affiliates, 50 state offices and a national office.

For the second year in a row, I will be participating in the annual NAMI Walk this Saturday (10/1/11) at Candler Park in Atlanta, Georgia.

I would like to ask you to come and walk with me or to donate to support my participation in this great event. Visit my personal walker page to sign up: http://www.nami.org/namiwalks11/GEO/akinduro

It features a link to my team's page where you can see who else is walking with me. There is also a link so you can donate directly to me online. Donating online is fast and secure, and I'll get immediate notification via e-mail of your donation.

For those who have already donated to my team or who are walking with me, I am so grateful. Thank you so much! For those who can't walk with us or give, I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

I thank God for each one of you and pray that you continue to feel the abundance of His love and peace for your soul. In Jesus name, Amen!

Stephen O. Akinduro

2011-09-10T12:19:00.000-07:00

In Remembrance of 911

"The sick do not ask if the hand that smoothes their pillow is pure, nor the dying care if the lips that touch their brow have known the kiss of sin." ~ Oscar Wilde

Tomorrow will mark the ten year anniversary since 911 - Spetember 11, 2001 - a day clearly marked in American history due to the atrocious acts of terrorism that were committed against us. Do you remember where you were on that fateful day when you heard the news? Hardly any of us can forget. I was at work when a co-worker of mine told me that he had just heard that a plane had hit one of the Twin Towers in New York City. At first, we wondered what had happened to cause the pilot to lose control like that and hit a major landmark like The World Trade Center. Before long, however, as several of us listened to the news on a radio, we heard of the second plane hitting the other Tower and we realized that this was no accident; the nation was under attack by people who obviously wanted to do us some serious harm. We were shocked and scared at the same time, "what was going on? Who was behind these attacks? How many more planes had been hijacked and where were they targeting next?"

Before long, work had practically come to a standstill for most of us as we listened and watched for more updates on the radio and online. We would eventually all be allowed to go home early that day, right after we said a prayer together, holding hands in solidarity and love, not really knowing what this meant for our future as a country.

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! Psalm 133:1 (NIV)

What I remember most in the days and months that followed 911 is the sense of solidarity and unity we felt as Americans. There was no "white America" or "black America" or "brown America". There was no "liberal" or "conservative" or "independent", we were all in it for the long haul (until the Iraq war started) to help one another cope and overcome the tragedy that we had experienced. When I watch the documentary reminders of what happened on that day, I see people from all walks of life trying to assist one another, helping others regardless of race, gender, or socio-economic status.

Suffering can often be a great equalizer when it comes to humility and bringing out the best in people. When I think of how much concern there was for our fellow human beings in the days that followed 911, I often wonder why it often takes tragedies of that kind to bring out the best in human spirit. When people are hurting, they don't care what your status is in life, they just want help, and really don't care where the help comes from as long as they get it.

Compare and contrast where we were as a nation then and now. Split by political factions and corporate, political, and individual interests, we could not be any more different in our consciousness than we were in the days and few months that followed that tragic day. Liberals hate Conservatives and Consevatives hate liberals (but then again, what else is new). If President Obama says the sky is blue, Republicans and the Tea Party are obligated to say it's red. Almost every move made by those in power is to satisfy their bottom line, even it means doing so at other people's expense.

As we remember those who were lost and the loss of innocence that occured on such a large scale on 911, may we never forget the spirit of solidarity and concern that we had for one another in the immediate days following the tragedy. So many of us are hurting, whether it be due to the poor economy, or personal issues (that we often hide by wearing "happy-masks"). But if we would take the time to get to know one another beyond the stereotypical labels , we would actually see the common human spirit we share and be there to help each other out in times of need. This is the primary lesson I get from reading the Gospels. Jesus loved people; This love led him to make the ultimate sacrifice for our redemption. As we are touched by this love, we cannot help but be compelled to love others.

God bless the souls of those lost on 911. And for the families and friends who lost loved ones, Time really doesn't heal all wounds, but we can continue to remember our loved ones in a positive light. And for the thousands of soldiers who have died or been wounded in the war against terrorism, God bless you, and thank you for your service. Our very freedom is a product of your sacrifice and service.

As always, with peace and love,

Stephen O. Akinduro

2011-08-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

The President, dissent, and compassion for the Poor.

"A minister cannot preach the glories of heaven while ignoring social conditions in his own community that cause [people] an earthly hell." Martin Luther King Jr.

Tom Joyner, aka "the Fly Jock", is a well known African-American DJ and talk show host. His morning show, "The Tom Joyner Morning Show" is listened to by about 8 million listeners every week in mostly African-American households. Tom Joyner is a huge fan and apologist for President Obama. Mr. Joyner doesn't like hearing criticism of the President, especially if the critics are other African-American leaders. Well, it just so happens that two of the president's biggest critics in recent months have been Tom Joyner's one time close friends - talk show host Tavis Smiley, and Princeton University professor and philosopher, Dr. Cornel West. (Smiley and West have a radio talk show by the same). Although they are both African American and progressive in their politics, they have been open about their opinion that the President has not done enough to address the needs of the poor and working class people in the country, people who are suffering disproportionately in these dire economic times.

As far as Tavis Smiley and Cornel West are concerned, while we should be proud of having our first president of African-American descent, this should not exclude him from being criticized if it is believed that his policies are not helping the most vulnerable amongst us. They have taken to speaking about this publicly in their "poverty tour" around the nation, during which they are trying to highlight the plight of the poor around the nation (see, http://www.povertytour.smileyandwest.com/) . Ironically, Dr. West did support President Obama in his election bid, but is now no longer an Obama fan.

Well, Tom Joyner, who used to be very close to Tavis Smiley and Dr, West (especially with Smiley, who used to have a commentary section on the "Tom Joyner Morning Show"), has now publicly ended his friendship with them in a very scathing blog entry that I have included here:

http://www.blackamericaweb.com/?q=blog_inner/29954/1573138/Cheriewhite/1

Other radio personalities like comedian Steve Harvey have even chimed in, calling Smiley & West "uncle Toms" (a not too polite way of being called a "sellout" or "traitor" to your community). To be fair, I have also included a counter argument to Tom Joyner's remarks, a counter argument made by Dr. Boyce Watkins which I personally agree with, even though I love Tom Joyner and the work he does especially in scholarships for underprivileged kids. Here is Dr. Boyce's Watkins counter argument. Dr. Watkins is professor at Syracuse University:

http://yourblackworld.com/2011/07/04/dr-boyce-tom-joyners-tasteless-assault-on-tavis-smiley-and-cornel-west/

I only gave this backdrop primarily for those who may have never heard of this story or never heard of the persons involved in this drama. In full disclosure, anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge fan of the President. I am glad to be alive to witness the first black President in office. Does that mean I agree with him on everything? No! Does that mean I don't have serious reservations about how Wall Street and large corporations get bail outs (because they are supposedly too big to fail) while regular folks like you and me have to continue to struggle in harsh economic times? Of course not! It is these kinds of issues that have caused a huge disillusionment amongst many in the electorate and made independent voters, who are tired of both political parties, the largest growing voting block in the nation. And while I still consider my politics to be slightly left of center, I understand where Smiley & West are coming from.

My stance on criticism of any leader is simple: In a democratic system, elected officials work for the citizens, not for their own interests or the select interests of huge donors or corporations. In my opinion, no public official should be beyond being held accountable, but there is a huge difference between constructive-criticism and the kind of political vitriol or hatred that we see on our political climate. There is an added sense of defensiveness about President Obama in the black community because of the added hatred and security threats against his life, possibly because of his racial heritage. The Secret Service has noted that he has received 400% more death threats than president Bush, and we all know how much the Left hated Bush. President Obama gets about 30 death threats a day, and the Secret Service is overstretched in their efforts to protect him. You can read this attached article for more details on that:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/barackobama/5967942/Barack-Obama-faces-30-death-threats-a-day-stretching-US-Secret-Service.html.

For these reasons, there is this sense of protectiveness amongst many in the black community comes from the history of racism & bigotry that people of color have had to face in this nation. While we have definitely come a long way from the kind of overt bigotry that used to be common in the past, every now and then, we get reminders that the more things change, the more things stay the same, like in the recent brutal murder of 49 year old James Craig Anderson (who was black) by some white teenagers' they beat him and ran over him with their truck. They had never met the man, but just felt like doing harm to someone who was black. To be fair, these kinds of incidents are not as common as they used to be, but as we see even with currents riots in London, the issue of race and racism remains one of the most intractable issues facing humanity.

There is also the sense by many in the African-American community that President Obama has been disrespected in ways that previous presidents have not. Whether it is being yelled at as a liar during a speech in front of congress, or the speaker of the house walking out on the President during a meeting on the debt ceiling, or being called a "boy" or "tar baby" by a conservative foe. Yes, conservative Presidents like Bush were highly vilified by the Left; he was called everything but a child of God: "dumb", "stupid", "Nazi" etc. So this argument goes both ways, but many in minority communities believe that Obama's race plays a significant role in the animosity towards this President. But the issue of race, racism, and overcoming it is a subject too complex for one blog entry. The problem with most of the criticism we hear in politics is that it is personal, filled with character assassination without adequately addressing the core issues.

I don't believe any leader should be idolized. We should respect our leaders, pray for our leaders, and it's okay to admire them. But when we idolize a human leader, that person can easily form a cult or potentially lead you astray. We should never idolize them, because they are fallible beings just like we are. Any leader, no matter how charismatic, can easily fall prey to the lusts of power and all that comes with it.

Taking Smiley & West's argument about justice and compassion for the poor, the question becomes "what kind of attitude we should have towards the poor and vulnerable in our society?" With latest Census Bureau numbers showing that about 1 in 7 Americans (or 44 million people) classified as being poor in America, this is obviously a national crisis. The poverty level in the United States is the worse it has been in 15 years. There tend to be two general ideologies when it comes to reducing poverty in society: the conservative belief that if taxes are lowered, it empowers people to keep more of their money, give to charities that help the poor and underprivileged, and rise through the economic ladder through hard work and dedication; the liberal belief, however, tends to put more focus on government programs fund through more taxes to fund social programs to help those in need. We have had liberal presidents and conservative presidents, both ideologies have been tried, and yet poverty continues to persist, probably because there is no one-size fits all solution to this pervasive problem.

When you study the Gospels you quickly learn that Jesus has a special heart for people who are poor and needy....As Jesus began His public ministry, He proclaimed, "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because He has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Luke 4:18-19 (NIV, emphasis added).

What could be good news to the poor other than provision or alleviation from their poverty, and the assurance that contrary to the popular belief, they are people of great worth even though a capitalistic society might not value them. Jesus was so passionate about helping poor people that he once told a wealthy man to go and sell his possessions and give the money to the poor (Matthew 19:16-30). The man believed he was keeping all the right religious rules and wanted to know what he had to do to guarantee eternal life. Jesus, sensing the man's self-righteousness told him to go and sell his possessions and help the poor with the proceeds, breaking the man into realizing that money was his idol, and also reflecting God's heart for poor people. The moral of the story was not that selling your things will guarantee you eternal life if you give the proceeds to the poor, but to reflect that for many rich people, money is their idol, something very easy to see in our society of uber-capitalism.

So what do we do about poverty in our society when the gap between the rich and poor continues to grow. Are government programs enough when most states are cutting funding for these programs. While they are needed, it is obvious that this is not enough. What about private donations to charity and non-profit organizations? While needed, this is not enough either, especially since donations to charities, even churches have dwindled in these dire economic times. The answer is "all of the above". We are interdependent with a moral responsibility to each other - this is why Jesus never separated loving God from loving our neighbor. It is easy to preach a sermon about heaven, but if people are catching hell here on earth, it is very hard to keep their attention. If you come to me talking about the glory of heaven when I haven't had a decent meal in days, I may want to tell you to get the hell out of my face with that bull crap. What I need most at that moment is a meal, not a sermon. As Joyce Meyer's has said before, most of the ministry needed in the world today is not from a platform.

Many argue that poverty is simply a function of laziness, lack of education, the refusal to work, or just wanting to take advantage of "the system". While there are always bad apples that ruin the bunch, this is not true in all cases. In this terrible economy, there are many people with college degrees (even graduate degrees) who are either unemployed or underemployed. Ironically, Jesus does not get into the reasons for poverty as much as he does helping the poor.

May we find the grace and strength to heed his advice. As a huge advocate of the often forgotten core message of the Gospel - God's grace - I truly believe that it is only when we sincerely grasp this message that we shall be compelled to help those who are considered less fortunate than we are. Grace shatters the chains of self-righteousness that keeps us so wrapped up in ourselves.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Peace & Love,

Stephen Akinduro

2011-01-12T08:42:00.000-08:00

Healing after a tragedy

I really do pray that the Lord comforts and heals the families of the victims of the Tucson Arizona shooting that occurred last weekend. The local community, families and friends of the victims, and the nation a whole could definitely use some healing right now.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. " 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (New Living Translation)

When darkness surrounds us, we need God’s Spirit to inspire us, to heal us, and to comfort us. And even though a part of me wants to damn them forever, I also pray for the shooter and his family. Only God knows what was going on through the shooter's mind when he did what he did, but his family needs healing too. I am sure his parents never wished this tragedy on anyone; their lives have also been forever changed by this senseless catastrophe. We all could use a huge dose of God’s grace and mercy right now. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness:

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning: great is His faithfulness” Lamentations 3:22-23 (NIV).

What we should not be doing right now, however, is trying to take political cheap shots at the “other side” all in the name of casting aspersions and playing the blame game. The investigation as to what the shooter's motive was is still ongoing, and yet, some political commentators are trying to use this time to solidify their political ideology by casting aspersions on their political rivals. Some conservative talking heads are blaming liberals, saying that they are trying to use this tragedy to stifle free speech and hamper with people’s right to bear arms; simultaneously, some liberal talking heads are blaming the rhetoric of certain popular conservative talk show hosts for their supposedly incendiary remarks that could have set-off the shooter in this tragedy.

Enough!!! This is not the time to score cheap political points. if the truth were to be told, both sides play dirty when it comes to using harmful rhetoric and strong language. It seems like in our 24/7 cable news cycle and heated political culture, we are constantly feeding the never-ending political campaign season where it seems like someone is always running for office. From the outside looking in, it looks like this was the random act of a severely disturbed young man, but the fact remains that we really don’t know what motivated this man to do such a heinous thing, and it probably won't make any sense even if we did know his motives.

At its best, politics can inspire us and be a fuel for positive change, but at its worst, politics can bring out the worst in us when we a perpetually blaming the "other" side for the societal problems that we face. This notion that “my side is always right” and the other side is “not only wrong, but inherently bad or evil” is one of the things that has poisoned the ability for us to have a productive political debate and get things done on behalf of the American people, many who are already hurting in a very weak economy. The last time I checked, the verse said "all have sinned, and fallen short of God's glory", not just liberals; not just conservatives; and not just independents.

I have friends who are very passionate about their political views who do not share my political persuasion. Sometimes we have very heated debates. But I refuse to sacrifice any friendship at the alter of political ideology just because I want to make a point. I often remind people whom I may disagree with politically that just because I am a member of one Party does not mean that I am a political ideologue. I have opinions, sure I do; we all do. But I try not to be so closed minded that when I listen to the other side, I am automatically assume that they are wrong. We must all get to the point where we can admit that sometimes “our side” is wrong and the other side is right. It takes a lot of humility to do this, especially in a self-righteous political culture where it is tantamount to career suicide to admit fault. Only an acceptance of God’s grace can help a person admit that “I am not always right”.

It is sad that it often takes a tragedy like the Oklahoma city bombing, 9/11, the Virginia Tech massacre, or this recent shooting to bring us together as a nation. We all know that in a few weeks, politicians will be back to their bickering and political jousting once again, but for those of us who are followers of Christ, we know that our purpose in life - regardless of what we do for a living - is to be an agent of love and grace in a world that is starving for it. Let us use this opportunity to show this grace to others, yes, even to those whom we may not agree with philosophically.

Wishing you Peace and Love,

Stephen O. Akinduro

2010-12-23T11:14:00.000-08:00

Jesus - a true revolutionary

The world says "God helps those who help themselves", a statement that is not in the Bible ; Jesus says that He helps the broken, the weak, the weary, and the crushed in spirit. (Matthew 5:3; Romans 8:26; Psalm 34:18)

The world says "I'll forgive you if you earn it and prove you deserve it"; in Jesus we are forgiven and given a new identity as a child of God not because we deserve it or earn it, but because God's grace is that great and wonderful in His beloved Son. God's Grace through Jesus is the very definition of unearned love. (Ephesians 1:6-7; Ephesians 2:8-9)

The world says "I will love you if you meet my performance standard and meet my needs"; in Jesus we find love that is not earned. He loves us even when we think we are "unlovable": "God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." Romans 5:8

The world says, "there is a limit to how many times you can mess up - three strikes and you're out"; in Jesus we realize the futility of trying to attain perfection, but in-Him we don't have to be perfect because we can rest in the fact that He is our righteousness, and it is not based on our performance. He gives us rest because in-Him we are not under the curse of the law." (Matthew 11:28, Galatians 2:21)

The world says there is a limit to how much someone should be forgiven; Jesus says that for His children, forgiveness should be a way of life, because we have been forgiven of so much (Matthew 18:21-30, Ephesians 4:32)

The world says that you must earn God's blessings and a spot in heaven by hard work and trying to obey the Bible (or whatever religious text in question); In Jesus we realize that trying to obey Biblical Law is an impossible task because anyone who does not obey every precept of the law at all times (with the right motive is under a cursse). But thank goodness for His grace, we don't have to and can receive His love by faith through Jesus. (Galatians 3:10-13)

The world accepts the top performers - the rich, the accomplished, the beautiful, the handsome, the "movers and shakers" of society, while simultaneously rejecting the disenfranshized, the poor and the broken; Jesus has love for everyone, with a special affinity for those whom society tends to ignore - the "least of these". (Matthew 9:12-13; Matthew 25:45)

The world says "make as much money as you can and hoard it so that you can flaunt your wealth. Your identity and your financial-worth synonymous"; Jesus warns of the dangers of flaunting wealth and falling in love with money, and He encourages the wealthy to use their wealth to help the poor. (Mark 10:21, Luke 12:13-21)

Who is this revolutionary Jesus that is so radically different from what we are used to? He is the one whose love for you is not based on your love for Him; the one whose birthday we celebrate this time of the year, the one who did not come to judge us, but to give us redemption (John 3:17). He is the one who understands your pain and suffering when everyone else is totally baffled . He is the most influential person that has ever lived.

May His love brighten your heart this Christmas and always.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2010-12-09T11:35:00.000-08:00

The definition of a man

"The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9 (NASB)

What does a real man look like? Who best represents the definition of a real man? Does he resemble the fictional icons we see in movies, seemingly impenetrable characters made famous by action heroes played by the likes of Clint Eastwood (Dirty Harry), Richard Roundtree & Samuel L. Jackson (Shaft), Sylvester Stallone (Rocky, Rambo), Denzel Washington (Training Day), Bruce Willis (Die Hard)? Usually, Hollywood uses a lot of creative license to portray these kinds of action figures as one-dimensional, because after all, these are entertaining figures and movie studios are trying to make money. To be fair, some movies do capture the complexities that reflect contemporary manhood, but I can almost guarantee that those kinds of movies are usually independent movies and not blockbuster productions.

I bring up this question of manhood reflecting on an article from Newsweek magazine that I read earlier in the year. I have attached the article here if you would like to read it:
http://www.newsweek.com/2010/09/20/why-we-need-to-reimagine-masculinity.html

In the article, there is mention of the fact that for the first time in our history in America, there are more women than men in the workforce. In college, for every two men, there are three women enrolled. While men still occupy most leadership roles, more and more women are leading companies, both large and small. In an economy that still generally pays men more than women for the same job, it makes business sense to get rid of the man first to save money, and this is what many corporations did at the start of this recession (I know, the "expert" economists say that the recession is over, but it sure does not feel like it to many).

Today, in many households, men are not only making less money than their women, but in many cases women are the primary breadwinners, and this has done something to the ego of those who have traditionally placed their value and worth in how much they made and what professional title they had. So what does this mean for the men who are partnered with these women? Is Stedman less of a man because Oprah makes most of the money in their relationship? Is Todd Palin less of a man because Sarah Palin makes more money than him? Of course, some would argue that these are exceptions and not the rule and that there are those "trifling men" who don't work, don't want to work, or don't work hard enough. That is another discussion altogether.

In the African-American community , the crisis of absentee fathers and so few male role models is quite bad: about 72% of black children are born to single parent homes and usually raised by their mothers. I believe that there are a host of social, political and spiritual reasons that have led to this (I could write a thesis on that subject), but the bottom line is that there is a shortage of black male role models for young African American kids. Having said that, it reminds me of why I am such a huge fan of president Obama,. If nothing else (even if you disdain his politics) he is a great example that, yes, in America, no matter your racial heritage, you can truly be anyone or anything that you desire, including president; his love for his wife, Michelle Obama, and kids (Sasha and Malia) shines through when he is with them. In an age where there are still so many negative images of black men in America (watch your local 6pm news), this is a breath of fresh air. And the good news is that this is not a re-run of the Cosby show, this is real life. Having said that, however, I realize that even president Obama is not perfect (I san hear conservatives say, "I know he's not perfect, he's a liberal"..lol), and to expect everyone to aspire to be president is not realistic, because we are not all called into politics.

Traditionally, a man was defined as the primary breadwinner in a home - the leader and provider - who brought home the bacon and served as the spiritual head of the home. I grew up with a patriarchal view of manhood that was tied exclusively to his ability to perform in terms of bringing home the "bread" and leading in that regard. Real men were supposed to be able to conquer all and God forbid they had issues, they knew how to pick themselves up by the "boostraps" and get over them. It wasn't too long ago that men were the only ones in the home that worked while the mother was the primary homemaker: taking care of the kids, cooking and doing almost all the household duties. I have seen, however, that in today's economy, this is not always feasible. It usually takes two incomes just to "make it" in today's economy, and with more women working, it requires that more men take on some of the domestic duties, if not being stay at home dads altogether, something that was a slap to manhood "back in the day".

Another issue that I have had to deal with in my own life is seeing how emotional trauma can affect one's life in ways that if not dealt with, can have serious negative consequences. I have seen how unresolved issues in my life almost brought me to a tragic end at an early age. When I tell you that I have looked death directly in the eyes, I mean it. I know how fragile life is. Thank you God for your Amazing grace and mercy.

These and other factors have led to a paradigm-shift in my definition of manhood over the past few years. I realized that the traditional patriarchal definition has its faults, flaws that are too numerous to mention in one blog-entry. But the most obvious one is that it leads to a kind of subtle self-righteousness and sense of entitlement because patriarchy has always ultimately been oppressive, hence the feminist movements and so on. God knows how many women are part of the "walking-wounded" because of the hurtful experiences that they have gone through with patriarchal and oppressive men.

Jesus, is, ultimately my current model for manhood, and I will talk more about that in my next blog entry, my last for the year 2010. Obviously, His standard is impossible to keep at all times, hence our need for God's grace. But because of Him, love is made alive in my soul and hope grows even in my darkest hours.

When I look at the men throughout history whom I view as role models, the quality that I admired the most was being able to be vessels of love in the face of serious adversity, adversity that would normally produce hatred and bitterness. Lord knows that we need more love in our society today; technology is great, wonderful even, but it comes with it's own set of unique challenges (cyber-bullying being the most recent issue), but there is so much dissension and hatred, and pity there is no device that can be created to teach us how to love one another. So much analysis of problems, not enough solutions, so much hopelessness, not enough examples of hope (especially in the media). Yesterday marked the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's death, and to many he was a revolutionary for love, even though he was not religious. He, like many, yearned for a world where love, not war, would be the norm.

For me, manhood has nothing to do with being perfect, and less today to do with one's financial portfolio (if so, God help all those men married to women who make more than them.) A real man is able to be authentic about his strengths and weaknesses, as only God's grace allows us to truly be "real", otherwise we are always hiding behind the mask of self-righteousness. I am all too aware of my imperfections and where I fall short, in fact I need to learn to apply the same grace that I talk about to myself, because I tend to self-flagellate too much. if you point out a flaw in me, chances are I have highlighted that flaw with a bright marker several times already.

For me, a real man is a a loving man who uses his gifts to humbly serve others, at home and in the community; and to love is to embrace the message of God's grace. To embrace God's message of grace is to embrace His ethos of compassion and forgiveness, because I realize how much He has forgiven me of, being all too aware of my own fallibility and flaws; this is what eventually leads to humility and my connection with other struggling people, because we all have our share of personal struggles.

Peace & love
Stephen O. Akinduro

PS: the attached song has nothing to do with this subject. I just love it, especially this performance. Usher is truly the man, and we share the same birthday, October 14th.

2010-11-24T13:58:00.000-08:00

GROWING IN GOD'S GRACE

"But grow in grace (undeserved favor, spiritual strength) and recognition and knowledge and understanding of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (the Messiah). To Him [be] glory (honor, majesty, and splendor) both now and to the day of eternity. Amen (so be it)! " 2 Peter 3:18 Amplified Bible

Recently, a friend and I were talking about what we consider to be one of the biggest challenges that the church faces when it comes to the Gospel: not really understanding the Gospel's message of grace and the fact that God's grace is not just something that gets us into His kingdom, but also something that accounts for every aspect of our lives. As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:10, "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me." (emphasis added)

Too often, there is the not too subtle implication that we are "saved" (or brought into God's family) by His grace, but we grow by doing good deeds (or by our works). I have heard it put this way:- God is responsible for saving us, but we are responsible for "staying saved". From my understanding of the Gospel, nothing could be further from the truth. If I could save myself, grow by myself and do it all by myself, why would I need God? This is the height of hubris, and probably explains why there is such a struggle with self-righteousness amongst, us, Jesus' followers.

If we are ever going to be vessels of Jesus' love, we are going to have to grow in the knowledge of His grace and love that He has so generously bestowed on us.

After recently reading one of the best books I have read all year, Philip Yancey's, "What Good Is God?", I could not help but wonder why the message of God's grace is so hard to accept and comprehend. I can't list all the reasons in one blog entry, but I know for sure that one of the reasons why grace is so scandalous is because we are raised to believe that "if-something-sounds-too-good-to-be-true, it-probably-is". Grace just sounds too good to be true. There is no way that God could love us that much; forgive us of that much, and give us a new spot-free identity, no strings attached.
When I think of God's grace, I think of this story that Jesus told in Matthew 20:1-16 (New Living Translation):

“For the Kingdom of Heaven is like the landowner who went out early one morning to hire workers for his vineyard. He agreed to pay the normal daily wage and sent them out to work. “At nine o’clock in the morning he was passing through the marketplace and saw some people standing around doing nothing. So he hired them, telling them he would pay them whatever was right at the end of the day. So they went to work in the vineyard. At noon and again at three o’clock he did the same thing. “At five o’clock that afternoon he was in town again and saw some more people standing around. He asked them, ‘Why haven’t you been working today?’ “They replied, ‘Because no one hired us.’ “The landowner told them, ‘Then go out and join the others in my vineyard.’

“That evening he told the foreman to call the workers in and pay them, beginning with the last workers first. When those hired at five o’clock were paid, each received a full day’s wage. When those hired first came to get their pay, they assumed they would receive more. But they, too, were paid a day’s wage. When they received their pay, they protested to the owner, ‘Those people worked only one hour, and yet you’ve paid them just as much as you paid us who worked all day in the scorching heat.’ “He answered one of them, ‘Friend, I haven’t been unfair! Didn’t you agree to work all day for the usual wage? Take your money and go. I wanted to pay this last worker the same as you. Is it against the law for me to do what I want with my money? Should you be jealous because I am kind to others?’

“So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last.”

The reason why grace is so offensive and why many of the workers in this parable were ticked off stems from the word "deserve". In the story Jesus told, the workers who worked all day were furious that those who worked only a few hours got the same pay as they did. This is a perfect example of how grace flies in the face of our logic of who deserves great things and who doesn't. We are used to a world where, for the most part, top performers get the rewards and those who don't perform well get shelved, ignored or scorned. Grace puts a hole into this line of thinking, for as Philip Yancey says in his book, "What Good is God?", "Into that world Jesus spoke a radically different message. We get not what we deserve but the very opposite. We deserve punishment and get forgiveness. We deserve God's wrath and get God's love. In a world divided by race, culture, class, language, and religion, Jesus set loose the most powerful force in the universe, the force of grace. That counter force brings a new message of hope to a world marked by violence and division."

Just last week there was a national outrage over singer Brandy Norwood being voted off of the #1 show in America, "Dancing with the stars". She was voted off before Bristol Palin and in the eyes of Brandy's fans, she was a much better dancer than Bristol and deserved to be in the finals. I agreed, but the voting public thought otherwise and showed Bristol grace. Either that, or many of Brandy's fans just forgot to vote for her en-masse like Bristol's fans did. There were conspiracy theories and the like, but who knows what really happened?

The biggest argument against grace is that it is not fair, or that it may promote laziness, but my question would then be, "not fair by whose standard?" If you are comparing one's character to that of another person, then maybe so, but if we compare our human character to God's holiness, then we have a different picture. The human heart than pleads not for justice, but for mercy and grace. Our inherent problem is that too often we think that other people are the standard, when God is the standard; even a casual reading of the Bible will expose the degree of human frailty and fallibility.

We don't like the idea that those who don't deserve it will get what we have worked so hard to obtain, In politics for instance, is there any label that politicians hate more than being called "liberal"? Liberals are assumed to be people who want to take from the hard working and give to those who don't "deserve" it.

I hope and pray that during this holiday season you will grow in the love that Jesus has for you and be able to share that love with family, friends and yes, even someone who may not deserve it. After all, if we all deserved God's love, it would not be called Amazing Grace.

Peace and love,
Stephen O. Akinduro

2010-10-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

Hope for turbulent times - lessons from Chile.

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD" Psalm 27:13-14

On October 12th and 13th, the entire world witnessed a miracle in Chile, as the 33 miners who had been trapped for 69 days about 2,300 feet below the surface were all rescued alive from the San Jose copper-gold mine. This is the most successful rescue of its kind in human history. Worthy of note is that the rescue site where the anxious family members of the miners and rescue workers camped out was appropriately called "Camp Hope".

This was truly a wonder to see, one that gave me goosebumps just watching it. I can only imagine what these brave men went through in their almost 70 day ordeal, especially considering that for the first 17 days, they had to ration out the limited amount of tuna fish and milk that they had (one spoon of tuna and half a glass of milk each, for a 48 hours period) all until they were located by rescuers who then supplied them with more food and liquids through a drilled hole. Just imagining the level of fear that the miners probably had to deal with - not to mention the claustrophobia - makes me shiver within.

During the initial phase of the ordeal below, the youngest of the miners was reported to have already started to go into shock and was hallucinating, the effects of limited food and water taking its toll. But the men hung in there, leadership roles were taken: one assuming the main leadership role (Luis Alberto Urzúa, 54 years old, and the last to come out), another becoming the group medic (Yonni Barrios, 50 years old) and another becoming the spiritual leader and psychological guide (Mario Gómez. 63 years old, the oldest in the group); Mario Sepulveda, 40 years old, also known as "Super Mario" commented about the ordeal saying, "I was with God, and I was with the devil. They fought, and God won."

There are so many lessons to be learned from the outcome of what could have been a terrible tragedy: For me, this story underscores the power of faith, resilience and teamwork towards a common goal. For the time period when this rescue plan was being put in place, experts from all over the world were summoned to lend their intellect and expertise for a common cause. No one was worried about the political ideology of the miners; no one cared whether they were overtly religious or not; no one dug into the miners' history to see if they had any excess baggage or history of immoral bahavior making them "unworthy" of such a rescue. In a true spirit of grace and altruism, all people cared about was putting a plan in place to rescue the men and get them back safely to their families and loved ones.

We all could use some inspiration in our lives right now, with the way the world seems to be so shallow and devoid of love in a struggling economy. For me, this was one of the most inspirational feats I have ever seen on TV. This is true reality TV, not like those pseudo-reality shows that we see that often delight in taking advantage of other people's weaknesses. Every now and then, we see evidence of the kind of love that is simply divine and this was definitely one of those moments in time. Yes, eventually, books will be written and movies made about this rescue, but nothing will compare to what we saw on TV for those two nights. It was truly a sight to see.

So for the miners, as I celebrate my birthday, I lift my glass up to them and make a toast, and my prayer for them is that they get the physical and psychological healing that they will need for the future. May they use this experience to inspire others to be better people, to value our loved ones (because tomorrow is not promised) and to come together for the common good, putting aside all meaningless bickering and partisanship.

"My soul will boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles." Psalm 34: 2-6

references: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010_Copiap%C3%B3_mining_accident

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/13/rescued-miner-says-he-saw-god-devil-during-captivity/?iref=allsearch

Stephen O. Akinduro

2010-10-08T12:40:00.000-07:00

Hope for the suicidal Soul

"We can live about 40 days without food, about three days without water, and about eight minutes without air - but only one second without hope." ~ Neil Anderson, "Finding Hope Again".

"Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak." Psalm 31: 9-10 (NIV)

The subject of suicide has been in the news quite a bit lately, primarily because of a number of recent suicides by young people stemming from them being relentlessly bullied for a variety of reasons, either online or in person. These cases have really been sad, not only because the loss of any life is tragic, but because it is so hard for us to imagine what would cause some kids to be so heartless and bully another kid to the extent that they left their victim feeling so hopeless that they thought that death was the only way out.

It is extremely difficult to talk about suicide. Suicide is such a taboo subject probably because suicide is often seen by some as simply a selfish act or "taking the easy route out". Also, there is the controversy about whether a person who kills themselves is going to hell or not (a topic that I won't go into in this essay). But we should be talking about this problem especially when in the United States there is a suicide every 16 minutes. There are so many myths and misinformed ideas about suicide: "he was just being selfish"; "why would anyone take their own life when they would go straight to hell"; "didn't she think about those who loved her and she was leaving behind?"; "suicide is a sign of weakness"; "black people don't kill themselves, only white people would do such a thing!" I am sure you have heard at least one of these statements before, but are these statements based on truth or inaccurate assumptions not based on any facts?

According to NAMI - the National Alliance on Mental Illness - "the risk of suicide is greatest for people who feel hopeless about the future, or individuals with mental illness who have recently been discharged from a hospital. In addition, those with a family history of suicide and anyone who has made a previous attempt are more likely to attempt suicide in the future."

I believe that there are two forms of suicide: There is the direct and "instantaneous" act where someone abruptly ends their life by some lethal means; then there is the slow form of suicide where a person engages in reckless or dangerous behavior that has adverse consequences on the person's life, usually shortening their life span (e.g. excessive abuse or huge amounts of drugs or alcohol as a form of self-medication).

If you have never known what it is like to be suicidal, or you have never lost a friend or loved one to suicide, then it may be easier to use cliches like, "you just should not feel that way", "you think you are the only one with problems?", "get a grip", or even religious cliches like , "just trust God and everything will be alright". The problem with each of these statements is that they often fail to address the very real and excruciating pain that the person is going through. Even if the pain does not seem real to you, it is real to the person going through it. Someone who is an extrovert with great social-skills may have a hard time understanding why a distraught teen is thinking about killing herself because she is constantly teased in school. But to that teen, that experience is like "hell on earth". We all have different genetic, psychological and physiological makeups; what might seem like no big deal to me, may be a huge challenge to you and vice versa. For example, speaking in front of a crowd has never been that hard for me, but I know it is a huge fear for many people. But there are some areas where I struggle that are no problem for other people.

Empathy stems from us realizing that in a world where we all have struggles, we should learn the art of listening to what others are saying with the realization that many times their "communication" may not be in the verbal form. People often don't talk about what is really going on in their lives because they fear being judged ridiculed or even brushed off with simplistic cliches that do nothing to alleviate the painful situation.

I do a lot of work with groups involved in suicide-prevention and I cannot tell you the number of times I have heard a family member or friend of someone who died by suicide say something like "I had no idea he/she was suicidal, everything seemed fine!" These comments do not surprise me, because the times when I have felt that way, I often didn't tell a soul. In fact, I have realized through the years that one of my biggest weaknesses is that I tend to keep a lot of stuff bottled up inside until the problem erupts like a volcano. That is not a healthy habit, and I am working on it. When I'm suicidal, however, the one thought that keeps popping in my head at that time, however, is "remember the pain your mother's suicide caused your family, would you want to extend that pain to even more people?"

Suicide is never a rational act. You can try and understand it that way all you want, but you won't get anywhere. The question we should probably be asking ourselves is "am I willing to be an empathetic ear to someone who is in that kind of crisis?" Of course, if you know someone who is feeling that way or indicated to you that they are suicidal, the first step is to make sure that they get professional help, either by calling 911 or the National Suicide Prevention hot line 1-800-273-TALK(8255), for those who live in the United States.

My attraction to Jesus is that He is the personification of empathy. Feeling rejected and lonely? He can relate, as one who was rejected, even by most of the people whom He can to save (Isaiah 53:3). He knows the depths of the human condition because He had to deal with the most extreme form of soul-pain that we could ever imagine, all so that we could be called children of God. This is what keeps me pushing on, even at my most desperate moments when I feel like throwing in the towel when I am getting overwhelmed by hopelessness and helplessness or intense loneliness. This is why, for me, reading the Psalms, especially many of the ones penned by David, is so comforting, because I know that I am not the only one that has ever felt such intense feelings of despair. I know, however, that God did not create us to live in a vacuum, and so we crave the approval of others to a certain degree (no matter how religious or spiritual you are) because we were created for relationships. This is why something as seemingly simple or mundane as the kindness or love received from others (or even from a pet ) could be the spark of hope that someone on the edge needs.

May we have the grace to live lives filled with God's love and hold on to hope, especially in these hard times.

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2010-09-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

Sex, Sexuality & the Church

It is very difficult for people in the church to have an honest dialogue about sex. Even in the 21st century, we still have a hard time dealing with the paradoxes of human nature when it comes to this topic. On one hand, there are those who would love to profess the fact that we (Americans) are a nation founded on Judeo-Christian virtues, but we are also, on the other hand, a nation that uses sex sexuality not only to procreate, but for pleasure and to sell everything under the sun. It is only when there is some sex-scandal, usually involving a leader of the religious community, that a dialogue about sex ensues.

This is what is happening now with the whole allegations of homosexual affairs that are plaguing Bishop Eddie Long of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Atlanta. To be clear, I don’t know what happened between Bishop Long and the young men who are alleging he coerced them into sex, so I don’t want this essay to seem like I am casting aspersions on anyone. This is a sad case really, because Bishop Long is a married man with a wife and kids and if the allegations are true, there will be psychological scars in the lives of his family, his church members and the victims. I just pray that each and every person involved in this case can find some peace, healing and discover the grace and love of God in new ways.

Why is it so hard to have an honest conversation about sex amongst church-folk? Why do we think that if we just tell people who are not married to just "not do it", we can easily solve the problem of sexual lasciviousness? Why is it so hard to talk about something that deals with our innate being, something that most of us enjoy, but often like to pretend we don't do? I am no expert, so I can only speculate, and the main reason I think sex is such a taboo subject is that the Bible has clear mandates when it comes to sex. Take a look at this verse:

“Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NLT)

This verse makes it quite clear that any kind of sexual sin – fornication (having any kind of sex when you aren’t married), adultery (for married persons who have sex with anyone other than their spouse) or homosexuality (sexual relations with a member of the same sex) – are all wrong. Jesus took these commands to the next level of the heart saying that any man who looked at a women lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart with her (Matthew 5:28). These are very harsh and stringent commands by any standard and I am sure if that each one of us that is reading my typed words were to be honest with ourselves, we have all at some time broken at least one of these laws. This is not to say that there are no virgins left above the age of 18 or 21, but when you take into account Jesus' definition of lust being the same thing as doing the deed, we have all broken at least one of these laws. Remember the hot water that former president Jimmy Carter got into when he told Playboy magazines in 1976 that even though he had not cheated on his wife, he has lusted in his heart. His exact quote was, “I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times.... This is something that God recognizes, that I will do and have done, and God forgives me for it.”
source: http://www.arts.mcgill.ca/history/faculty/troyweb/courseweb/jimmycartertheplayboyinterview.htm

But if it is true that we have all practically violated God's law when it comes to sex, why do we put the sin of homosexuality on such a higher pedestal in relation to the other sexual sins, when we all know people (if we are not the persons ourselves) who are having sex with their boyfriend/girlfriend outside of marriage, shacking up, or maybe even having a heterosexual affair, but we seem to give them a subtle pass? I am not a virgin, I have had a number of girlfriends since my first sexual relationship at age 18. There are times when I wish I had waited till I got married, but let’s be honest, the elephant in the room that no one likes to talk about it that “sex feels great”! There are few things more pleasurable than having sex with the one you love; some would argue that you don’t even have to love em’, as long as you have great sex with them.

The point I am getting at with all of this is not to excuse sexual sins or any other sin. Like many other people, I have had to confront my own homophobia or the belief that I was better than someone who was gay/bisexual/transgender because that was not my sexual orientation. But I have also had to deal with the paradoxes in my own life, the fact that I have had sex, several times, and yet never been married. And this does not even count the lust part that Jesus mentioned. I guess you could say that I could have just gotten married to one of the ladies and saved myself from the sin part. But I was not mentally or financially prepared for the commitment that comes with marriage, so I did the selfish thing, or “we” (the lady and me) did the selfish thing. But I am not the first one to walk down this road. Solomon was married to almost all of his women (700 of them), except for the 300 other mistresses he had on the side: "concubines", I believe they were called (1 Kings 11:1-3).

Why do I bring all of this up? Well, for one, if there is one lesson that we can learn from the whole Bishop Eddie Long scandal is that we should never put our spiritual leaders on such a high pedestal that we forget that they are all human beings. When we do this, it not only leads to self-righteousness (the antithesis of grace or unconditional love and compassion) but it totally devastates the congregation when allegations like this are made, and eventually leads some to a faith-crisis.

The second lesson that I get from all this is that whenever we put the message of God’s grace to the back burner of our Christian faith, we always run into the risk of casting aspersions on some while applying self-righteousness (I am good because I supposedly don’t sin as badly as someone else) to ourselves. Romans 3:20 makes it explicitly clear that the only thing that the Law(s) of God can do are act as a mirror to show us our sinfulness.

The raw fact is that we are nation/people of paradoxes. We embrace morality, but we sin every day. We desire sexual purity and chastity but we produce more pornography and sexually explicit material than any other nation in the world (a 12 billion dollars a year business, and this is a low estimate) and use sex as a marketing tool. We are sexual beings and trying to deny it only leads to trouble and hypocrisy.

As an exercise, before we think of condemning someone else because of their sexual practices, think of when the last time you seriously thought about each one of the laws I have stated below, most of them laws that we hardly even focus on these days. And remember, the Bible makes it clear that if you break just one law, you are just as guilty as the person who has broken all of them (James 2:10):

1. Exodus 35:2 states that anyone who works on the Sabbath must be put to death; do I do it myself or call the cops? And remember the Sabbath is from sunset Friday night until sunset on Saturday night.

2. Leviticus 11:10 says that you can’t eat any fish without scales or fins, like Shrimp, crabs or catfish.

3. Leviticus 19:27 says that you can’t cut facial hair on the side of your head or even trim your beard.

4. Leviticus 11:6-8 says that you should not even touch the carcass of a dead pig; does that mean all NFL players are going to hell?

5. Leviticus 19:19 says that you should not plant seeds of two different kinds on the same field, and also you can’t wear clothing made from two different fabrics

6. Leviticus 24: 10-16 says that we should take all those who cuss or blaspheme and stone them to death.

7. Deut. 22:5 – a woman must not wear men’s clothing and vice verse.

8. Deut 22:20-21 – if a woman is not a virgin when married, she should be stoned to death (I would have been dead long time ago).

9. Judges 19 – sanctions the rape and misogyny of women, so does Genesis 19:6-8 where Lot offers his daughters to rapists even though Lev 19:29 says not to defile your daughter by making her a prostitute.

10. Leviticus 15:19-24 specifically states that you can’t have any contact, not even a touch with a woman during her period.

The real issue I am trying to emphasize is not that we need to become more legalistic, but that we realize that everyone cherry picks from the Bible for their own agenda, thus negating the message that "God's love for us has nothing to do with our performance in regard to the Law, because no one is really obeying His laws!"

Please, friends, let us get back to the primary tenet of the Gospel, we all need God’s love and forgiveness. I know I do, and I am glad He showers it on me freely. Without His grace, I would have no hope!!

Peace and Love,

Stephen Dotun Akinduro

2010-09-22T10:57:00.000-07:00

WHAT IS "THE TRUTH"?

"Few dare to announce unwelcome truth" ~ Edwin Percy Whipple (1866)

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" ~ Jeremiah 17:9

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only,who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." ~ John 1:14 (italics added)

What is truth? This is the question that Pontius Pilate asked Jesus while he was presiding over Jesus' trial and deciding whether to have Him crucified or let go. Prior to this question, Jesus had said, "....for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me." (John 18:37b)

Pilate's question, "what is truth", is as pertinent today as it was during Jesus' trial, especially in an information age where everyone grabs on to the form of subjective truth that fits their agenda or ideology. It is not just a philosophical question, because to embrace the truth requires an uncomfortable level of honesty that few dare embrace. Hence people lie.People lie for a variety of reasons: when I look at my life and the times when I have lied, it has mainly been to save face, due to embarrassment or shame over the truth. Other times, it may have been because the truth was too painful and I realized that to embrace the truth, I had to admit my own culpability. Being truthful takes courage, and sometimes we don't want to hear the whole story. This is why actor Jack Nicholson's line "you can't handle the truth" from the movie "A Few Good Men" has become such an iconic movie line.

In our court system during testimony, we swear to tell "the truth" (don't lie), "the whole truth" (tell the whole story) and "nothing but the truth" (don't add any fabrications), but doing so can often be a challenge, even under oath where perjury could have serious consequences. It is especially hard to tell the whole truth when we realize that we are complicit in some act(s) of wrongdoing. Behind any good mystery is always a search for the truth. This is what our court system is supposed to get to - the truth - but we all know, however, that the process tends to pervert the intent and many times it is the side with the best attorneys that usually wins the case, and the truth gets lost in the judicial process (remember the O.J. Simpson murder trial?).

I ask this question about truth because one of the things that I have noticed about self-righteousness is that a self-righteous person cannot be completely honest with self, because to be self-righteous is to focus on one's strengths while ignoring or downplaying one's weaknesses. The flip side of this is that self-righteous people can spot flaws in others a mile away. Think about why Jesus was so critical of the Pharisees and other religious leaders of his day. They (the religious leaders) thought they were guardians of the truth, and yet they failed to use this same bar of "truth" to criticize themselves while they were being so hyper-critical of those whom Jesus was hung out with. Their biggest flaw was that they did not realize that they needed the same grace, forgiveness and compassion that Jesus gave to the "outcasts" of His day...

These days, truth gets lost in ideology, corporate agendas, political agendas and personal bias. My personal belief is that we all have certain biases, but many of us are not be able honest about these biases, because for some of us, our careers and livelihood are tied into the image that we portray to the public. If your job or career is tied to a certain ideology or a lie, then you will do all that you can to guard that version of "the truth" even if you know you are wrong.

Let me use American politics as an example (don't worry, I am not espousing a certain political ideology):

In politics, you see candidates and political Parties go at it like crazed animals. In politics, the rules go something like this:

Whatever problems exist in society are ALWAYS the fault of the other Political Party. So if you are a Democrat (or liberal) blame the Republicans (or conservatives) in which case George W. Bush or any of his conservative predecessors are the father of all evil. If you are Republican on the other hand, Democrats are ALWAYS the root of all the country's problems, in which case Barack H. Obama and his liberal cohorts are the fathers of all evil.
Whenever something good happens, my Party must always take credit for it one way of another. Find whatever statistics or facts you can find to back this up.
If the other Party does anything good, it is only an aberration and ONLY because my party inspired them to do it.
My political side has a monopoly on truth and the other side is ALWAYS wrong, except when the other side admits that this statement is true and they move over to my side.
Immorality prevails on the other side and never on my side. We may be imperfect on my side, but the other side is plain evil.
If you are liberal, you have a host of places to get your TV news from (especially MSNBC), if you are conservative, stick with Fox News and Fox News alone.

I think you see where this is going. If you have ever watched any cable news show where a political issue if being debated, you know exactly where I am talking about. The host of the show brings two people with opposing political view points to talk about an issue, and it ends up being a shouting match where each side is trying to out talk the other one, at the end of the day, no consensus is reached, and you end up wondering, "who is lying and who is telling the truth?" Well, in politics, you have a duty to stick to your talking points. It is not about truth, it is about spin or as Stephen Colbert would say, "truthiness" - a "truth" that a person claims to know from the gut" without regard to evidence, logic or the facts (Wikipedia). In essence, there is a lot of self-righteousness in politics. I would go as far as saying that all great politicians are skilled at this game.

Why do I bring all of this up? Because if we are ever going to truly embrace the message of God's grace, we have to dare to look at ourselves through the lens of truth, tough facts and all. We will never embrace God's Grace as long as we are being self-righteousness, and in a world where it is so easy to have an "us" verses "them" mentality, it is hard to be brutally honest with ourselves. There is really no "us" and there really is no "them" although the talking heads would have us believe this, because as long as we can create the ultimate boogeyman (them) we can attack him/it/them/her and supposedly destroy her and have peace. But how has this been working out for us? Not very well. To say that "all have sinned and fallen short of God's glory" is to include "us" in that "all have sinned" part of the sentence. It takes a humility and a rejection of self-righteous lies to do so.

I don't think it a coincidence that Jesus is full of "grace and truth" (John 1:14); for one, I am very grateful, because if all He has was the truth, without grace, I would be in serious trouble. But thank God for grace, that is where the liberation and love is.

May we all have the courage to embrace grace and truth!

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2010-09-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

'If you really knew me...."

"Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue.” ~Eugene O'Neill

"The Lord desires truth and honesty at the deepest level, and wants us to experience His love, forgiveness, and power in all areas of our lives. Experiencing His love does not mean that all of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors will be pleasant and pure. It means that we can be real, feeling pain and joy, love and anger, confidence and confusion." ~ Robert S. McGee (The Search for Significance)

This entry is kind of a conclusion to my last entry. If someone were to ask you to complete the following sentence, "if you really knew me..." what would your response be? This phrase "if you really knew me" is the title of an MTV program used to break the barriers of division amongst teenagers, the age group when peer pressure seems to be the most. But let's be honest, by the time most of us have become adults, we have become experts at wearing the "mask". In a world where we are practically conditioned to put on a mask to hide our true selves, our true feelings, beliefs and emotions, (all in the name of political correctness, peer pressure and the need to fit in to make a living), it is hard to be truly authentic about our complete selves - strengths and weaknesses. Very often, our very livelihood depends on our ability to wear this mask successfully. But the beauty about the message of God's grace is that we can stop the pretenses and be real. This is not to say that we can always do this in the real world, after all, who wants to be that vulnerable and put themselves out there like that? But this is why there are safe places where people often go to let off steam and be themselves, where they can unpack their "baggage" and get emotional healing - it could be with a therapist or counselor, a support group, a close friend or confidante..just to name a few places. The saying is true, "we are as sick as our secrets!" Sweeping the truth about ourselves never really solves anything, it only leads to pent up emotions and total frustration.

Here are my responses to the phrase "if you really knew me".......

If you really knew me, you would know that I am rarely happier than when I am playing tennis or on the dance floor.
If you really knew me, you would know that I am extremely passionate about two things: mental health awareness, and the message of God's grace - a message that I believe is really not taught in most churches or religious circles. Most people, myself included, understand God's Grace in principle, but not as much in practice.
If you really knew me, you would know that one of my biggest weaknesses is that I tend to be a people-pleaser, which is not good in the sense that if you are not in my close circle, I often say what I think people want to hear because I fear rejection.
If you really knew me, you would know that I have never been married for two primary reasons: a) even though I love the ladies, I have a cynical view of marriage (I think most contemporary marriages are nothing more than glorified financial contracts and I don't have that kind of financial freedom yet); b) I don't believe I am emotionally mature enough to be married.
If you really knew me, you would realize that I have been humbled into a paradigm-shift in my definition of success in the last 8 years. While I used to be obsessed with being wealthy, I now want to primarily use whatever gifts I have to serve others.
If you really knew me, you would realize that I love Family Guy and South Park. Two of my favorite shows. Can watch a marathon of either one all weekend.
If you really knew me, you would know that I want to meet Roger Federer one day, The most gifted athlete and tennis player I have ever seen.
If you really knew me, you would know that I wish I could give a copy of two books to all of my friends, "What's so Amazing about Grace" by Philip Yancey and 'The Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennan Manning.
If you really knew me, you would know that as far as I can remember, I have struggled with intense despair and depression for most of my life, but you would never know it because I use my sense of humor as a mask. In the words of that old song by The Platters, I had become "the great pretender."
If you really knew me, you would know that I have a hard time trusting people. But I am working on that..trust me... lol
If you really knew me, you would know that I am most honest and free when I am writing.
If you really knew me, you would know that for relief, I really like watching old stand-up routines by comedians like Richard Pryor, Chris Rock and George Carlin. They may be raw, but they are brutally honest. Comedians have the luxury of saying what many of us think, but dare not say, and in that sense are very free.
If you really knew me, you would know that even though I have strong political views, I am not a political ideologue. I don't think either side (liberal or conservative) has a monopoly on truth, even though the media and talking heads would have us believe so. I think one of the problems with American politics today is that politicians spend too much time trying to win elections by demonizing the other side, instead of serving the needs of the people.
If you really knew me, you would know that I tend to self-flagellate too much. I am my own worst critic and I am realizing that perfectionism is not a good thing for emotional health.

Peace and Luv to you all!!

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2010-08-11T12:47:00.000-07:00

Shame's antidote.

It is easy to feel a sense of shame in our fast-paced and judgmental society, where everyone in the world and blogosphere seems to be a judge of character. People often misjudge others for a variety of reasons; it could be due to a perceived flaw in physical appearance: too dark, too pale, to fat, too short etc; it could be due to a perceived failure in the job force due to a layoff or being unemployed on underemployed (a big issue in our weak economy); or it could even be because of life's difficulties that have made a person believe that they are unworthy of love- that they're somehow cursed or damned. Yes, life can be cruel, and in an age where everyone with access to a PDA (personal digital assistant) - smart phone, laptop or regular ol' PC - is judge and jury, people can really be mean when it comes to the other people. So much so that State's are now considering laws banning cyber-bullying because of the pressure that many teenagers are facing from their peers and others online.

Have you ever met a person who supposedly had everything going for them, only to get to know them personally and realize that internally they are filled with so many insecurities and doubts? Have you ever met a lady that was beautiful enough to be Miss Universe, only to realize after speaking to her at length that she doesn't even consider herself pretty? I often kid many of my lady friends that I am yet to meet a woman who is completely satisfied with the way she looks; I mean with all the pressure that is put on ladies and girls with airbrushed photos on magazine covers, it is easy to see why there is so much pressure to look a certain way!! There is pressure to attain that illusion of beauty that is simply impossible to reach.

The word "shame" is often used interchangeably with the word "guilt" but there are some fundamental differences between the two words. As an example, if I lie to someone and eventually feel bad about what I did, that is guilt, an emotion stemming from bad behavior. If I feel unlovable no matter what, and push people away because of my sense of unworthiness, that is shame. Guilt is primarily an emotion stemming from doing something wrong or having bad thoughts. Shame is an emotion dealing with one's being, resulting in thoughts that basically say something like, "you are worthless, no wonder nobody loves you." It may not even be that coarse, but may even be more subtle, something like "don't let anyone really get to really know you, otherwise you will be rejected". Shame cuts to the core of who you are.

I am a huge fan of the MTV show "If you really knew me". I happened to be channel surfing one night when it came on, and was pleasantly surprised watching an episode. In the show, mentors from a program called Challenge Day go into a high school and walk students from various backgrounds and cliques through a program that seeks to break down the walls and barriers that people put up to hide the real-them. It is interesting to see kids who generally want nothing to do with one another because they think they are so different from other kids (cool kids, jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, Gothic, blacks, whites, Latina, etc) come to embrace each other after they get to see the other kids' fears and insecurities, many of which they all share in common. For instance, in one episode, there was a gifted young high school quarterback talking about how even though he was a good at what he did on the football field, he hated football and only played it because it helped him with his insecurity around beautiful girls and him being a great athlete brought female attention. For more about the show you can check out their website and even watch episodes:

http://www.mtv.com/shows/if_you_really_knew_me/series.jhtml

But where does shame come from and what can be done about it? As for the where it comes from, I guess the answer would probably vary depending on whom you are talking about. It could be a traumatic event that has been internalized;it could be from verbal or physical abuse; it could be from negative messages given to that person from adults when the person was young; it could just be from dealing with the trials that come with life. Inherently we all want to feel good about ourselves, and it often takes about 4 or 5 positive messages to counter that one great and positive message that we hear about ourselves. I don't know why this is, but this just goes to show how fragile the emotional psyche can be.

In the book of Romans, Paul says,"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith...we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God." (Romans 5:1-2, emphasis mine)Where does this peace come from? Our performance, or the fact that we have all of our ducks in a row? No. Our ability to impress God or each other with our ability (more like attempts) to keep the Ten Commandments? No. This internal peace comes from God's grace that not only wipes out our sins and makes God to look at us through the prism of His son, Jesus, but also gives us a new identity, child of God. To be fair, let me also state that I can write about this all day long, but if we don't get living and breathing examples of this in our everyday lives, it is almost for naught, because we can know something intellectually, but if we don't see it by example from other people, it does not permeate into our hearts. This is why God equated loving Him with loving others, you can't have one without the other. We can pray and shout and jump up and down in church all day along proclaiming how much we love God, but to see someone hurting and shame-ridden and not show that same love that we proclaim, is like someone saying that they are champion Formula-1 race care driver but have never even been in a Formula-1 car or even driven one.

When we get to appreciate how much God loves us and His washing away of our shameful identity with His loving kindness, as we see this love demonstrated in our lives in a variety of ways (other people, blessings, pets, etc), we are slowly able to better show this love to others and realize what it means where it says "we love because He first loved us." God does not look at us as condemned individuals, because of Jesus, so why should we let the fickle opinions of others determine our self worth?

Peace and love,

Stephen O. Akinduro
Columbus GA

2010-08-02T09:09:00.000-07:00

Lessons from Lebron James' "Decision"

From the moment that he played his last basketball game with the Cleveland Cavaliers on the 13th of May, 2010, the sporting universe wanted to know, "where will Lebron James sign his next contract; will he return to the Cavaliers, or will he go somewhere else?" The fans in Cleveland held their breath as their hometown hero (he hails from Akron, Ohio, which is not far from Cleveland) kept the sports writers guessing where he would go once he became a free agent on July the 1st, 2010.

While the Lakers were celebrating their NBA championship and the world was fixated on the World Cup of soccer in South Africa, all kinds of speculations and guesses were being made about where Lebron James was going. And on the evening of 8th of July, Lebron put an end to the speculation by making his announcement on Live television with an hour long TV special entitled "the Decision". Lebron James told the world that he was taking his talents to "South beach" (Miami, Florida), in other words, moving to the Miami Heat to join fellow all stars, Dwayne Wade and newly acquired Chris Bosh. Simultaneously, hearts were crushed in Cleveland and hearts leaped for joy in Miami. The city of Cleveland, which has not won a professional title of any kind since the 60s, when they had Jim Brown with the Clevelend Brown, felt like someone had just played a cruel joke on them, as their basketball savior and reigning two-time Most Valuable Player (MVP) "King James" as he is popularly called, was moving to another team.

Before the dust could even settle on the decision, the owner of the Cavaliers, Dan Gilbert sent an open letter to his fans, a letter in which he blasted his former employee by saying, "As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier. This was announced with a several-day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment. Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us. .......You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal........You have given so much and deserve so much more. ........In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight: "I personally guarantee that the Cleveland Cavaliers will win an NBA Championship before the self-titled former 'king' wins one." You can take it to the bank......Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there. Sorry, but that's simply not how it works. .....This shocking act of disloyalty from our homegrown "chosen one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow up to become. ....But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Cleveland, Ohio. The self-declared former "King" will be taking the "curse" with him down south. And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma."

Ouch!! And this is not even the whole speech, which you can always google and read for yourself.

Suffice it to say that Lebron James' decision brought a huge reaction from the sports community, and all of a sudden the once most beloved athletes in sports history became the-most-hated-man in a city that embraced him for 7 basketball seasons. Fans in Cleveland burned his jersey and blasted him on sports radio. Jesse Jackson reacted to the rant by Dan Gilbert by saying that Mr. Gilbert was overreacting and treating Lebron like he was a runaway slave. NBA legends like Larry Bird, Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan all chimed in on the decision, basically saying while they respected Lebron's decision, they would not have left their team to join other great players on a rival team during their playing days, they wanted to beat the opposition, not join them. Some wondered what would become of Lebron's legacy, even if he did win multiple titles.

I am not trying to start a sports debate here, because I try to write on subjects that pertain to the subject of God's grace and love, but I know that there are some lessons here along those lines, and here they are:

Breakups are never easy and take time to heal: No matter what you feel about the Lebron's decision, whether you are a casual sports fan or one who loves basketball, there is one thing that is really clear, this was akin to a breakup from a long-term relationship being broadcast on national TV. One reporter said it was like taking your wife to a ball game and then breaking up with her on the jumbo screen for the whole world to see. With this is mind, I personally did not like the idea of the hour-long TV special, even though he altruistically gave the proceeds from the show to the Boys & Girls club of America. The whole thing just came off as being a little too self-centered and a bad way to break the hearts of the people in Cleveland, which is probably why they are so pissed, and this was still obvious last week when a fan of Lebron's wore a Lebron Miami Heat Jersey to Cleveland Indians baseball game last week and had to be escorted out by the cops because he was being heckled and booed so much and it caused a stir in the crowd.

In a capitalistic society, almost everyone has an agenda: Dan Gilbert is a businessman, and we all know that pro-sports is primarily business, secondarily sports. Lebron James had essentially become the goose with the golden eggs to Mr. Gilbert, bringing in millions of dollars in revenue not only to him, but to the city of Cleveland because of all the business brought to the city during basketball season. Before Lebron got there, the team rarely sold out its home games and was one of the worst teams in the league. Once Lebron got there, they became a constant playoff contender, sold out every season, and brought so millions of dollars in revenue to the team and city. So for Mr, Gilbert, this decision from Lebron stung mainly because he knew that the value of his team instantly dropped the second that the words 'South beach" came out of Lebron's mouth. Some estimates are that the team's value dropped by as much as $150 million dollars. If you are a team owner that is no small joke. the irony is that team owner's trade players all the time, when they think they are washed up or not a wise long term investment anymore. But now that the shoe is on the other foot, it really stings.

Popular "love" is very fickle: if you had told me before Lebron's decision that there would be a player more polarizing and hated than Kobe Bryant in some cities, I would have laughed at you, but that is exactly what has happened. All of a sudden, Lebron has gone from one of the most beloved sports icons in Cleveland sports history to a hated man. Wait a minute, I thought they really loved him? I guess their "love" was a conditional emotion based on what he was doing for the city and the moment he left, so did the love. Another avid reminder that in a celebrity obsessed culture, popular love can really be fickle. And yet the irony here is that Lebron did not commit a crime, he was entitled to go wherever he wanted to go, but because he abandoned his former team, he is now a pariah.

This is an important fact to remember, especially for those who become very "successful". The world may say that they love you because of your accomplishments or what you do for them, but the minute a weakness (real or perceived) is exposed, that love dissipates really quick...This is why the unconditional love from God and family (whoever "family" is in your case) is so important. The only kind of love that is truly secure is the kind of Agape (or unconditional) love that does not ebb and flow with the times. Agape love is rooted in God's grace, love that just is regardless of performance, but we need to see and feel this kind of love from other people, especially during hard times when our motivation and emotional strength is low. If you have this, you are truly unstoppable when it comes to your hopes and dreams.

Peace and luv to you!!!
Stephen O. Akinduro

2010-07-01T14:42:00.000-07:00

Do you have a problem with God?
(Part 2 of 2)

If there is one central question that has driven me for most of my life, it has been, "what must I do to avoid God's wrath and anger and get Him to love me and bless me?" I truly believe that this is a fundamental question that drives many of us, at least those of us who profess a belief in God. From my standpoint, however, I thought that if I did all the right things, including following God's lead for my life and trying as much as possible to obey the precepts of the Bible, then not only would God love me and not send me to Hades (hell), but I would receive all the earned goodies (blessings) that come along with my efforts. It would take me a long time to realize that this is legalistic thinking, a way of thought that unfortunately is very common in most Christian circles. We say on one hand that the reality of our existence as God's children is all due to God's grace and the work of Jesus, but we negate this belief by the not-too-subtle implication that if you don't obey God (and the Biblical precepts) you are not only under a curse, but you will face God's wrath.

So my question is, if obeying God were indeed possible, and if self-righteousness could give us the benefits of being God's children, why in the world did Jesus come, why did He have to go through all that trouble to redeem us? This is the question that the Paul asks in Galatians 2:21 where he says, "I do not treat the grace of God as meaningless. For if keeping the law could make us right with God, then there was no need for Christ to die." (NLT) What is so ironic, however, is that if you listen to most Christian sermons, the implication is always that you must obey Biblical commands to earn God's blessings. It is no wonder we ignore the message of God's grace, we live under the illusion that obeying the Bible is actually possible.

What are we even preaching or trying to convince people to accept the message of the "Good news of the Gospel" if all we have to do is obey the Bible and do our part? And what is so Good about the "Gospel" is all it does is add an impossible burden - obeying Biblical law - to an already stressed and weary soul? Therein lies the problem: because if it were truly possible to obey the Bible, then the message of the Gospel would all be in vain. Besides, so many of us are hurting in ways that we cannot describe, that it is almost laughable that we even try to put on the mask to hide our real selves when we are struggling so deeply.

After going through the phase of feeling like it was not only my duty, but God's mandate to give it my best shot at obeying the Bible, I got to a point of complete and utter despair, especially in realizing that not only was my religious phase not leading me to a greater state of spiritual and mental freedom, but it was really making my more miserable because I was deceiving myself. I had two options, either relinquish my embrace of "Christianity" altogether, or embrace the Gospel in all of its true unadulterated wonder. Fortunately, I chose the latter.

Why religion is the breeding ground for lies.
I sincerely believe that it is practically impossible to be ultra-religious without being competent at lying or self-deception. My reasoning is simple: Keep in mind the definition of "religion" in part 1 of this essay. Religion purports to make us more moral human beings by doing good deeds, so it goes without saying that no one who is religious wants other people to see how imperfect they really are. This is why you may often hear the religious say, "well, I know no one is perfect", but when it comes to being honest about the degree of their imperfection, you run into a dead end. Self-righteousness, the twin sibling of religion, does not allow for authenticity, because the goal is always to "one-up" the other person with your performance. So we look at those who are marginalized in society (addicts, homosexuals, prostitutes, people with mental or developmental disabilities, the homeless, the poor etc.) and say stuff like "why can't they get their act together?" In these kinds of statements, we reject the humanity of those who are already suffering and place an added burden on them when what they need above all things is hope.

Religion, by its very nature is supposed to make you a better and more moral person if you adhere to its principles, so the notion that you would still have struggle in some areas is antithetical to its teaching, and so people lie about the real nature of their lives. This is why most religious testimonies go something like this, "when I was in the 'world', I used to drink, do drugs, smoke, go to clubs and be very promiscuous, but then I gave my life to Jesus and He took the desire for all these worldly things out of my system. I got married, stopped smoking, drinking and have seen my life turned around completely. Praise God!!" Anyone who knows anything about habits and/or addictions, however, knows that even though you may give something up cold turkey, it does not always work out where you wake up one morning and the cravings are completely gone. This is why humility is one of the hardest to maintain virtues, because pride is always looking at us around the corner whispering in our ears, "you have arrived"...

We often lie about our true spiritual state because it is assumed that to tell the truth would mean that this God-stuff is not really working. But the reality is that it is our refusal to completely accept the message of God's grace that makes us continue to lie in the spirit of self-righteousness.

Religion demands that we perform and be pseudo-perfect to be accepted, so we downplay our weaknesses and magnify our strength, while downplaying other people's strengths and magnifying their weaknesses; this is how self-righteousness works. It is not until we have the courage to be honest with ourselves that we can walk in humility with our brothers and sisters and love them without trying to one-up them. You see this amongst the Pharisees and Sadducees in the Bible during Jesus' day. They were experts and pointing out other people's flaws, while downplaying their own weaknesses. We also see this tactic in politics all the time, where here in the United States Democrats and Republicans are so busy demonizing the other side, they barely have any time to serve the American people.

From lies to Authenticity.
To love another person is to be able to accept their brokenness because we too can relate to that struggle. I am a broken vessel, and so are you. You have issues, and I do too. So what right do I have to judge you or your place in life, when I would not want you to judge me. As the Native American saying goes, "don't judge any man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins."

It may hurt to be authentic, but it is freeing, especially when you realize that no matter how painful the admission (to God) you are covered in His grace through Jesus. There are parts of my life that I would be too scared to admit to others, because they are too painful, or because the shame may be too great for me to bare. But ultimately, I know that God's love for me is not based on my performance and my self worth is not gauged by the fleeting values through which we often look at one another. It is freeing to know that we are eternally secure in Jesus based on His actions; this frees us and liberates us to love others and forgive them when they hurt us, because we too are fallible beings who have been eternally loved and forgiven.

Peace & Love,
Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

Recommended Reading: The Naked Gospel ~ By Andrew Farley

2010-06-03T12:12:00.000-07:00

DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH GOD?
(Part 1 of 2)

I would like to first thank each and every one of you who takes the time out to read my blog. I also really appreciate the comments that you send me in response to what you have read. I am truly grateful, because I know that sometimes I can be really verbose.

A couple of weeks ago, as I was leaving a support group meeting, one of the participants came up to me and struck up a friendly conversation; he said that he had checked out my blog and read a number of the postings, but he wanted to know one thing, "are you playing devil's advocate, or do you have a problem with God?" I asked him to clarify what he had read that made him come to that conclusion. He said he would have to go back and re-read some of my essays and get back to me, but that some of my entries left him puzzled. He got my number and promised to call me that weekend, but I have not heard back from him since.

Do I have a problem with God? The short answer to the question is "No, I don't", just like I told my dear friend. I do, however, have a problem with religion. Now, let me first of all acknowledge that I do believe that everyone sees God through a different lens, so I realize that everyone's image of God is not the same; for some, "God" is a vile and judgmental tyrant who can't wait to throw those who disobey Him into hell; for others, "God" is nothing more than a heavenly Santa Claus who just wants to bestow us with blessings so that we can show them off to the rest of the world; and then there is every other "God" in between these two extremes. The fact that there are over 35,000 documented Christian denominations should tell you that we all see God in a different light.

Having said that, let me explain what I mean by religion, because when I say I have a problem with religion, I don't want you to get it twisted and think that I have a problem with faith or the belief in God (or Jesus has His only son who died for us.) When I say that I have a problem with religion, I am basically talking about legalism or the "belief that one can attain, gain or maintain acceptance with God (and achieve spiritual growth) by keeping a set or laws (written or unwritten) and trying to maintain a standard of performance" (this is the definition stated in the book, "Breaking the bondage of legalism" by Anderson, Miller & Travis).

My ultra-Religious phase...
The really religious phase of my life was from 1997 until around the spring of 2003. I had been a Christian for years before this time period, having giving my life to Christ in 1986, but it was during this six year period that I started taking my Christian faith very seriously in an attempt to "live for God" to the highest level. I started devouring the Bible to the best of my ability, making a point to get as many contemporary translations as I could get my hand on, mainly because I did not understand most of that King James' English...lol. In any case, it did not take me long to realize that we generally ignore many of the laws in the Bible, especially those that make up the first five books of the Old testament (or LAW). I started to wonder, "how am I going to keep all these laws and get God to bless me and love me?" And then going to the New Testament, I realized that Jesus basically stated that we should not only look at the letter of the law, but the spirit of the law; that's why he equated hatred with murder, and lust with adultery. WOW! I knew I was in for a fix. But then I picked up a book called "In the grip of Grace" by Max Lucado. This was the first time that I ever read any extensive book that focused on the heart of the Gospel, why Jesus came, and the message of God's grace.The book is basically an easy to read commentary on the book of Romans, and it really opened my eyes to why God's love is so amazing. I wondered why I had not heard most of this stuff in church, except for in a rarely attended Bible study that I went to on Wednesday evenings.

Religion gives way to disillusionment and then authenticity
During my ultra religious phase, I could spot sin a mile away, I knew all the right dos and donts, even though I knew in my heart I was not even adhering to the rules that I expected others to follow. It was very humbling for me to desperately try and keep all of these Biblical rules only to fail over and over again. I began to see why the Bible says that the power of sin is in the law. It is practically impossible to keep Biblical law (I say "law" singular, because it is an all-or-nothing proposition, you either keep them all, or you are as guilty as the person who has kept none..you can read the book of Galatians and James 2:10 to see what I am talking about.)

I realized that what I called a "relationship with God" was nothing more than religious legalism, which I have already defined. I thought that because I paid my tithes, did not cuss, stayed away from secular music (even though that Tupac, Biggie, Jay Z, Anita Baker and Luther Vandross had me hooked...lol) and did not go to nightclubs and was not having illicit sex, I was one of God's "A" disciples who was worthy of more blessings and a sure place in heaven. Of course, by being self-righteous, I was totally ignoring my own inner struggles and demons like lust, greed, bitterness and my haughty attitude with those whom I did not think were "doing their religious duties like me!" This, I found out, is the crux of most religious teaching - if you do this, God is obligated to do that; if you obey these religious rules, God is obligated to bless you and deem you acceptable! I would later learn as I started delving more into the message of God's grace that this is really an illusion, a very powerful illusion, but one nonetheless. I say a powerful illusion because these legalistic lies were a contributing factor in one of the darkest periods of my life, one that I must say that I am still recovering from; a period that would not only bring me to the edge of losing my faith, but would really cement my disdain for what we call religion.

I will pick up there next time...

Peace & Love
Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2010-05-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

The root of compassion.

"We love each other because he loved us first." 1 John 4:19 NLT

If there is one need that we all carry with us regardless of age, socio-economic background or ethnicity, it is the need to be loved unconditionally. This need is built into the very fabric of our being; we want a safe place where we can go and be loved without fear of rejection, a place where even at our worst, we are not deemed an outcast, and we're still embraced. A person cannot truly grow spiritually unless they know that even at their worst, there is a place where they can go and still be embraced. Unfortunately, this goes against everything that a performance-oriented society teaches us, and because we live in a world so entangled in discord, political-strife, economic oppression, dissension, and war, it is very difficult to find that place where love does not come with several strings attached to it.

Church is supposed to be a place where we can come and receive this kind of love, but unfortunately, what you may often find in church is a polished version of what you find in the secular world, a place where you are accepted by God's grace in principle, but denied that love in practice unless you follow the right denominational rules (whatever those may be).

Author and pastoral counselor Paul Tournier made a very poignant observation when he said, "The Church proclaims the grace of God. And moralism, which is the negation of it, always creeps back into its bosom...Grace becomes conditional. Judgment appears...I see every day its ravages in all the Christian churches." The fact that Mr. Tournier said that he sees "its ravages in all Christian churches" goes to show that we have a long way to go when it comes to truly accepting the unique contribution that Jesus brought into the world - the message of grace. Our struggles accepting this message, ironically enough, also show that we are indeed fallible and need the very grace that we talk about. When we do accept this message of God's grace (love without strings), we will then realize that we have the same propensity for wrongdoing that is present in the lives of those whom we hate the most, a very humbling fact when you think about it.

We have so perverted the meaning of the word "love" that we have misconstrued it to mean some sort of mushy feeling that we get similar to when you are having your favorite meal or participating in a favorite hobby. But when this is translated to our interaction with others and we say that we love someone based on some quality that we find admirable in that person, or because of something that they can do for us, we don't really love them, we only cherish their ability to perform for us or make us feel good. You only know that you truly love someone when they cannot pay you back in return for the love that you give them.

If we are going to heal and be agents of healing for others, we have to first realize that God's love for us is not predicated on our ability to perform for Him. God is not some heavenly boss who is impressed with our consecutive weeks of church attendance, or record number of Scripture verses memorized or the fact that you have not used a cuss word in 5 years. To place our performance against the backdrop of Biblical law is to come face to face with our true debt and fallibility. It is only when we realize this that we can truly appreciate what it means to be forgiven and loved by God, and therefore pass this love on to others. Too often, however, we put the cart before the horse, telling broken people who barely know what love is themselves to "get at it, and love others..come on, do it!" But to attempt to love someone else when you barely love yourself is to only use another person to feel good about yourself...

It is my hope and prayer that wherever you are broken, you may experience the ravishing effect of true love.

Peace

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2010-05-14T12:57:00.000-07:00

HEALING FOR THE AILMENTS THAT WE CAN'T SEE.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" Psalm 34:18

John Wilson was an accomplished politician and member of the Washington D.C Community. He was a 49 year old African American man who had defied the odds to become the chairman of the D.C. Council. Many in the community were hoping that one day he would become mayor.

On May 7th, 1993, Mr. Wilson was scheduled to give a speech at a meeting of the D.C. Mental Health Professionals about children and violence in front of a group of psychiatrists and other professionals; instead, he scrapped his prepared text to talk about his own illness. In his speech he said, "we can talk about me being a politician, but we can also talk about me as a person who deals with depression, a very painful, very difficult disease...[that] leads to a great feeling of being lost, of a hole in your body." He would then go on to talk about the devastating effect that untreated mental illness was having in the black community, saying that it made many black people play "Russian roulette" with their lives, by engaging in risky behavior. He went on by saying, "I believe that more people are dying of depression than are dying of AIDS, heart trouble, high blood pressure, anything else. simply because I believe that depression brings on all of those diseases." As stunned as the audience was to hear John Wilson expose his ordeal to them, no one talked to him about his illness after his speech.

Less than two weeks later, John Wilson would be dead by suicide; he hung himself. His wife found his body. And even though Mr. Wilson has become increasingly erratic and strange in his last few public appearances, no one thought anything serious of it. It was just assumed that his behavior was just a part of his occasional moodiness.

The account that I just gave to you of Mr. Wilson's untimely death is based on the Washington Post article on his life as written by Peter Perl from the book "Night Falls Fast" by Kay Redfield Jamison. I first heard of John Wilson's story from the book, "Lay My Burden Down" by Dr. Alvin Poussaint & Amy Alexander when I was wrestling with my own mental state and my own suicidal thoughts. Whereas I once used to think that people who were suicidal were
absolute punks" who were "selfish" and seeking the easy way out, coming face to face with my own inner turmoil, depression and addictive struggles humbled me in ways that words cannot describe. Besides, I did not want to impart the kind of pain on my family that my mother's suicide had already imparted on us, so I needed to find a better alternative.

Dr. Poussaint, co-author of "Lay My Burden Down", is an acclaimed Harvard Psychiatrist who was once a consultant for the Bill Cosby show. Amy Alexander, the other co-author, is a freelance journalist who was inspired to help with the book from her own family's experience with mental illness. It was from reading the book "Lay My Burden Down" that I summoned the courage to reach out to Dr. Donna Barnes (of Howard University) who co-founded the National People of Color Against Suicide (NOPCAS) after her son's death by suicide. Going to a national NOPCAS conference and hearing not only from fellow survivors but also mental health professionals was an eye-opening experience to say the least. I wondered to myself, why does society refuse to talk about these issues? One word, STIGMA!! Today, I serve on the board of the organization (NOPCAS). I would also later find out about my local chapter of NAMI - National Alliance on Mental Illness, for which I also do some volunteer work, especially in their Crisis Intervention Team Training classes where local law enforcement and 911-responders are trained on how to respond to crisis situations involving people with mental illnesses.

Why all this talk about mental illness, you may ask. Well, for one, it is May is mental health awareness month, but also, like many people, I used to be naive and ill-informed when it came to these issues, thinking that mental illness was just a term that lazy or irresponsible people used to justify bad behavior. It was not until I had to come to terms with my own battle with depression that I started becoming not only more humble, but also more educated on what is still a very taboo subject. Now I have realized, through the tremendous research in the scientific community that there is ample evidence that there is a genetic and biological component to mental illnesses that can be addressed and treated if properly addressed. Brain scans can now show us the differences between a "normal" brain and one of a person with a mental illness, whether it be severe depression, schizophrenia, Alzheimer's disease, dementia etc.

We often don't do better because we don't know better. And the fact is that ignorance is not bliss. When we talk about the crisis that exists in various communities when it comes to issues like risky sexual behavior or addiction (no matter what the addiction is: food, drugs, alcohol etc) etc. we often fail to address what in many cases could be the root cause of such behavior, undiagnosed or untreated mental illness. Now this is not to imply that all cases of risky behavior are a result of mental illness. But research shows that many people with a mental illness use these risky behaviors as a coping mechanism or a form of self-medication. I am all too familiar with this pattern, but must say that whatever degree of humility or compassion that I have in my heart for hurting people, it is because of my own mental struggles....

See the attached links for more information on the organizations that I mentioned. Let's do all that we can to eliminate the stigma that exists when it comes to mental illness. A healthy mental state helps foster a healthy life, because when people don't have healthy mental states, they generally tend to engage in the unthinkable - that is why those with mental illnesses on average die 25 years younger than the rest of the population:

http://www.nami.org/

http://www.nopcas.org/

http://www.blackenterprise.com/magazine/2010/04/15/the-walking-wounded/

Peace & Love,

Stephen O. Akinduro

2010-05-07T10:29:00.000-07:00

The joy of celebrating Mother's day!

Mothers day is this Sunday, and there will be lots of cards, gifts, flowers and love sent to mothers all over the world. Why do we revere our mothers so much? Why is Mothers Day so important when it comes to showing appreciation and thanks? Well, the answer is simple; generally speaking, mothers represent the backbone of love that keeps most families going. From the time a child is conceived, a mother has a special bond with her child (or children, when there are multiple children conceived at once); during pregnancy, she provides the child the nourishment, protection and care that the child needs to survive. And after the child is born - during the child's formative years - it is mother who usually teaches the child their first lessons and provides the nurturing that is necessary for that child to blossom into a fine young person. As I have grown older, I have come to appreciate how tough of a challenge parenting is; there is no real blueprint that you can follow for all kids that will guarantee that they will come out a certain way. This is especially true for mothers who often are working and taking care of children simultaneously. I also think of those single mothers out there who have to take on the role of both parents, and still go out there and make a living so that the family can survive. These are tremendous feats, no matter how you look at it. And yet, mothers have thrived even though sexism and patriarchy continues to persist in our society, albeit less than it did in the past.

It is usually mother that we run to when we are looking for that unconditional support and love that we need to make it through a tough time in life. We can take almost any type of personal insult, but if you want to start a fight very quickly, talk negatively about a person's mother, and it's on!!

In his bestselling book, "The Shack", author William P. Young, paints a picture of God that is unlike most of what you read in popular spiritual books. "God" in this book is not a male patriarchal figure, but a black woman. The author did this to dispel a lot of the notions that we have about God as being this harsh and judgmental ogre, especially since he wrote the book for hurting people who are disillusioned with religion. This, in my mind, captures one of the reasons why we revere and adore our mothers so much. It is from our mothers that we get the first vivid pictures of "unconditional love" in a world that can often be harsh and devoid of this love. To be fair, not all mothers are as caring as others, and this is not to say that there are no harsh mothers out there similar to the one we see in the moving Oscar nominated movie "Precious", (and as the movie shows, the mother, played by Oscar winner Monique, was acting out of her own brokenness), but this is to say that generally speaking, it is from our mothers that we get the spiritual fervor that we need to survive and push on..

Love is one of those tricky things that is easy to talk about, but harder to show others in person. But talk to anyone who has great stories to tell about their mothers, and you will get a picture of what real love is all about. Whether it be the football star who just got drafted and hugs his mother in tears as his name is being called by the NFL commissioner, or the innovative scientist whose mother encouraged her to pursue her dreams, mothers worldwide are a great picture of sacrifice and selflessness that gives their kids hope and strength for the future.

To all the mothers out there: Have a great mothers day weekend!!

This essay is dedicated to the 6 influential mothers who have touched my life:

Gloria Jean Akinduro (R.I.P), Olabambo Akinduro, Brenda G. Lewis, Annie Mae Darden (R.I.P), "Mama" Akinduro & "Ma" Olanubi....

Peace and Love:

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2010-04-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

WHO ARE YOU?

"....The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

What determines your identity? Is it your job? What happens if you lose it? Is it your financial status? What happens if you lose your investments in a market crash like the one we recently experienced? Is it your performance? What if someone comes along who is better than you at your "craft", whatever that is? Is it your looks? What happens if you don't look like the models or actors/actresses on TV? Is it ethnic background? Then what happens if you are part of an ethnic group that is maligned and disenfranchised for whatever reason? Is it your nationality? This too is not a constant, in some parts of the world, your nationality is determined by where you are born, in other parts or cultures, it is based on the nationality of your mother, your father, or both.

The point that I am getting at is that the factors that we use to determine who a person is are so fluid that sometimes we fail to see who we really are. When it is all said and done, we are spiritual beings, cased in a physical body. This is not to say that we should not take care of our bodies, because we don't want to live short lives due to avoidable diseases or ailments. Our bodies are a gift and we should take care of them to the best of our ability. But ultimately, all that can be seen is temporary: looks fade, jobs come and go (especially in this economy, gone are the days when a person stayed at one job right after school until retirement), and no matter how much you take care of yourself, death is inevitable.

Part of the problem that we see today, with the crisis of self-esteem that is so rampant in our culture stems from a misplaced identity. I feel so sad for so many of our young women, who think that they have to look a certain way to be loved, making them susceptible to all kinds of eating disorders, either eating too much or too little. Go to your local bookstore and look on the magazine rack; you will see "masters" of the universe, depending on what the magazine if about. If it is a women's magazine, the latest super model of the day is probably all airbrushed on the cover looking "perfect". If it is a sports magazine, you may find NBA MVP Lebron James or perennial all-star Kobe Byrant on the cover, or maybe even someone like tennis legend Roger Federer; if it is a business magazine, you may find someone like investment tycoon, Warren Buffet or Microsoft founder Bill Gates on the cover; if it is a music magazine, you may find anyone from Jay Z to Wyntonn Marsalis, Usher to Carrie Underwood, depending on the genre of music being covered. The point is, that we revere the top performers and the people with the great looks, while we tend to shun those who don't meet the bill.

But is this how God looks at us? Thankfully, no! I get great solace in the fact that Jesus showed that His love for us is not based on our looks, our ability to perform, our profession, or where we come from. In fact, Jesus infuriated the religious crowd of his day because he had a special affinity for the poor, the oppressed, the "nobodies" of his day? Who are the nobodies of today? We shun those who are deemed ugly or overweight; God loves you! We shun the physically or mentally handicapped; God loves you! We shun those who have "fallen from Grace"; God loves you! We shun the poor and those without political clout; God loves you! I could go on and on.

To know that who we are in Christ is a constant that cannot change with the ever fluctuating wind of society's standard is truly a relief for the soul.

Here are some facts about you as a child of God that are refreshing:

Here are 21 truths about who you are in-Christ, 21 unshakable truths that do not waver no matter what the economy looks like, no natter what the latest model of beauty is, no matter what your stick portfolio is:

...Because of Jesus and His grace, you are:

A child of God (John 1:12)
A friend of God's. (John 15:15)
Chosen and appointed by Jesus, to bear loving fruit ( John 15:16)
A wonderfully made person (Psalm 139:14)
Gifted (Ephesians 4:7).
Eternally secure, forever in the grip of God's hands. Once saved, always saved! (John 10:28)
Justified, completely forgiven and righteous (Romans 5:1)
Forever free from condemnation (Romans 8:1)
Living by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7)
Being transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2)
Redeemed from the curse of the law (Galatians 3:13)
Born of God, and the devil cannot touch you (1 John 5:18)
Blessed with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3)
Predestined by God before the world began to be adopted as His child (Ephesians 1:5)
Free to come boldly to the throne of God's grace at anytime to receive grace and help in a time of trouble (Hebrews 4:16)
A new creation. The old - sin loving you - is dead and the new you is alive in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17)
You are a saint, NOT because of anything you have done, but because you are in-Christ (1 Corinthians 1:2)
Chosen by God, holy and dearly loved (1 Thessalonians 1:4)
More than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)
Equipped with the spirit of power and love (2 Timothy 1:7)
Redeemed and forgiven of all your sins; the debt against you has been cancelled! (Colossians 1:14)

So remember, when gauging your self-worth, remember the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians 4:18, "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Recommended reading: Neil T. Anderson's "The bondage breaker"

Peace & Love to you.

Stephen O. Akinduro

2010-04-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

Why do we pervert the Gospel?

".......but where sin increased, grace increased also." Romans 5:20

One of my all time favorite books is Philip Yancey's "What's so amazing about grace?" It is a really great look at the subject of God's love for humanity. In the first chapter of the book, the author tells a riveting true story that sets the tone for the rest of the book. Since it is not too long, I will quote it in its entirety:

"..A prostitute came to me in wretched straits, homeless, sick, unable to buy food for her two-year-old daughter. Through sobs and tears, she told me she had been renting out her daughter - two years old! - to men interested in kinky sex. She made more renting out her daughter for an hour than she could earn on her own in a night. She had to do it, she said, to support her own drug habit. I could hardly bear hearing her sordid story. For one thing, it made me legally liable - I'm required to report cases of child abuse. I had no idea what to say to this woman.

At last I asked if she had ever thought of going to a church for help. I will never forget the look of pure, naive shock that crossed her face. "Church!" she cried. "Why would I ever go there? I was already feeling terrible about myself. They'd just make me feel worse.""

The author then goes on to emphasize that he found it ironic that this woman would not want to go to church for help when during Jesus' ministry on earth, it was exactly people like her, who felt bad about themselves who found solace in Jesus.

So the question is, why is it that people who should want to find solace in the arms and message of Jesus do not often feel comfortable amongst many of us, followers of Jesus (aka Christians)? I believe the question has little to do with if we are worthy of love, but if we feel that we deserve love. The more we attach the word "deserve" to God's love, the less likely we are to appreciate the message of his unconditional love grace. Think about it, we are more or less a reward-for-performance society. If you perform well, we "love" you, if you don't, we feel that you should do better to earn our love (except of course if you are the person's mom, in which case you are obligated to love em').

Generally speaking, we have it backwards. We tell people to "come as they are", but then we frown upon them if they don't use the right language (no cussing please, and the right spiritual vernacular by all means); we frown if they don't have on the proper conservative attire (could you at least not have found a blazer to put over that shirt?); we frown if they don't listen to the right music....and on and on we could go. Could you really handle someone being totally honest "as they are" with all their mess and junk? Walk into any church on any Sunday (or Saturday) and look around. People are, generally speaking, on their best behavior and in their finest attire, even if all hell is breaking loose at home. Yes, many churches have adopted "come as you are" dress codes, but these are for the most part, exceptions and not the rule.

If we are ever going to be the body of Christ that is there for hurting people to show them love and give them hope, we are going to have to adopt the unadulterated message of the Gospel and stop perverting it with self-righteous alternatives. This basically means that those of us who call ourselves followers of Jesus realize deep down in our hearts that we are not accepted because of what we do, but because of who He is and what He has done for us. Grace is the realization that love that is earned is not love at all. This is what the Apostle Paul meant when he said "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." If we truly saw that we don't deserve God's love as some kind of prize for obeying His commands - because none of us really obeys them anyway - then we would be more willing to extend his love to others, especially those whom society deems as outcasts. You know you have formed God in your own image when 'he' hates the same people that you hate. Think about it, do you have a hard time praying for your enemies? Then maybe, just maybe, the message of God's grace has not really permeated your heart.

Peace & Love
Stephen O. Akinduro

2010-04-16T13:10:00.000-07:00

Let's talk about sex.

It is very difficult to have an honest conversation about sex in church or religious circles. And yet, sex is something that comes natural to our innate nature. We were created through sex, and it is a natural part of a biological make-up to have sexual urges. The real issue is what do we do with those urges, especially in a society that uses sex and sexuality to sell practically everything under the sun.

The standard Biblical line about sex that is usually heard in sermons is "if you are not married, abstain from it, and if you have had it outside of wedlock, stop and rededicate your life to Jesus; don't do it again until you are married." Verses such as the following can serve as reference:

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

So what happens if you have already tasted of the "forbidden fruit" of sex (sex outside of wedlock) and your hormones have already experiences the euphoria of something that you had no business doing in the first place? This is the dilemma that we often face and refuse to address. Pastors would love to believe that simply telling their congregation to "not do it" under the fear of consequence, would get everyone scared of the consequences and stay on the straight and narrow. But this is far from reality. So much so that the current debate considering all the recent celebrity sex-scandals is "can sex be addictive"? Sex is all around us, and sex sells, not just products, but we have an insatiable appetite for the sexual mishaps of others: Look at how Tiger Woods have been in the news over the past 6 months, once news of his many affairs came to light. How how about Jesse James, Sandra Bullock's husband? And now, within the past few days, it has come to light CNN talk show host Larry King has been embroiled in a bitter feud with his wife over an affair with his wife's sister. These stories not only make for great ratings on TV, but they sell tabloid papers and keep the paparazzi employed.

But why do we then deceive ourselves in the spiritual community that we are somehow "better than" the rest of the population when it comes to sexual foibles. I know that I cannot play the self-righteous card in this regard, because if my sexual exploits were to be broadcast to the entire church, I would be running for the hills to hide in seclusion. By the time my parents gave me the "birds and bees" talk, I had already tasted of the "forbidden fruit" and it tasted good. A part of me wondered, "so this is what grown folks have been trying to keep away from me?" But I would soon realize why God would rather we save sex for a committed relationship and not use it just to make ourselves feel better or get an "orgasmic experience" just for euphoria sake.

I think part of our unwillingness to be honest in spiritual circles about sex can also be seen in how we talk about heroes of the faith. While we love to portray these pictures of patriarchs of the faith that are somehow higher then they need to be, you find out reading through the Bible that many of them were polygamists: Abraham, Jacob, David & Solomon were all polygamists, yet we hail them as heroes of the faith today, while conveniently ignoring the fact that they all had multiple wives. We talk about Lot's faith, but ignore the fact that he practically offered his daughter to potential rapists. We hail David for his love for God, but conveniently ignore his lust for another man's wife, which he acted out on, using his clout as king to his own advantage. Solomon's sexual appetite was so strong that with his 700 wives and 300 "concubines", he makes Tiger Woods look like a rookie.

Okay, so you may be saying to yourself, that was then, this is now, we all know that polygamy is not accepted in our American culture (even though there are still some small religious pockets that do practice it). Yes, this may be true, but the point I am getting at is that if we are going to talk honestly about sex and sex-related topics like marriage, we must be honest about how our sexual appetite and how it is manifested. Recent stats show that as many as 50% of men in church struggle with pornography. For every two men that you see in church, one is struggling, that is an amazing stat. And yet, we have the "just don't do it" approach, without addressing the realities of contemporary life, especially in an Internet age where porn sites are the number one revenue maker online.

If we really want to get legalistic about sex and what the Bible has to say about sexual immorality, go and read passages like Deut. 22:13-30, Leviticus 20:10-21 and see what punishment is deserved for sexual offenses (death by stoning). Would you believe that this includes stoning women proved to be non-virgins before marriage?

Accepting and embracing the message of the New Covenant (God's grace) is an acceptance of our own complicity in sexual sin and realizing what we truly deserve. Jesus took it to another level when he said that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart (Matthew 5:28)! f that is not convicting, I don't know what is.

If we are ever going to be honest about ourselves and our sexual struggles instead of focusing on the flaws in other people (especially celebrities), we are going to have to embrace the message of God's grace. Only then, will we realize that we are all more alike than different.

Peace & Love to all!!

Stephen O. Akinduro

2010-04-07T08:15:00.000-07:00

The folly of self-righteousness

"My observation of Christendom is that most of us tend to base our personal relationship with God on our performance instead of on His grace. If we've performed well - whatever "well" is in our opinion - then we expect God to bless us. If we haven't done so well, our expectations are reduced accordingly. In this sense, we live by works rather than by grace. We are saved by grace, but we are living by the "sweat" of our performance"
~ Jerry Bridges (from his book "Transforming Grace")

Practically all of us have some kind of spiritual yearning to be heaven-bound and to have God's stamp of approval and His blessing. We don't all seem to agree, however, on how to get this done - and this could be one of the reasons why even though we Christians supposedly read from the same Bible, there are over 38,000 Christian denominations. Yes, generally speaking, we say that "there is nothing that we can do to earn God's love or a spot in heaven." Most of us who are familiar with the Bible to a degree may even claim that "salvation and heaven are gifts of God's grace through Jesus' sacrifice on the cross", but our actions tend to betray us. We have the assumption that heaven and God's blessings are all somehow part of a reward based on "God's grand performance scale" (the laws in the Bible).

Use your imagination and go along with me for a minute. Imagine that at your birth an angel approached your parents or guardians and said, "okay, here's the deal, this child starts off with zero points. In order to earn God's ultimate approval and be heaven-bound, your child will eventually have to earn and stay above 100,000 points. I am going to give you a chart stating the number of points that will be gained or deducted for each act of obedience or each sin. All the best in raising him/her. Here's the chart. I wish you all the best!"

You parents save the chart for you and when you get old enough to read an comprehend what is written on the chart, you realize that each action/deed/thought is evaluated by God, whether you realize it or not. You look at the chart and to your amazement there are pages and pages of dos and donts all evaluated on a point system. Here are some examples of the points gained or lost for each action:

Going to church: gain 10 points (+ 10)
Not going to church when you can: lose 10 pints (-10)
Doing a good deed (like helping a needy person): gain 20 points
Not doing a good deed when you have the time an means to do so: lose 20 points
Lustful thoughts: lose 30 points.
Listening to a Gospel or Christian song: gain 40 points.
Listening to a non-Christian song (no matter what genre): lose 40 points
Watching an R-rated movies: lose 10 points
Watching a positive or Christ-centered movie: gain 15 points.
Watching an X-rated movie: lose 50 points per scene.
Giving a donation to charity: gain 25 points
Praying for others: gain 40 points.
Forgiving someone who hurt you: gain 50 points
Holding a grudge against someone who hurt you: lose 50 points.
Give your tithe to the church: gain 100 points
Failing to give your tithe when you are employed: lose 100 points.
Giving above and beyond your tithe (a love offering): gain an extra 50 points.

As you read the list and go over the hundreds of rules of dos and donts, you start to realize that you must maintain the "straight and narrow path" and do what you need to do to get your 100,000 points to gain God's approval. Your mood fluctuates between good and bad, depending on how well you are doing, and you are frustrated that you have so many more points to gain before you get anywhere close to 100,000.

Sound ludicrous? Well, it should, but this is exactly the kind of attitude that many of us have when it comes to God and His acceptance and blessings. It is this subtle form of self-righteousness that keeps us from really loving others and connecting with them so that we can be a source of strength and inspiration for each other. The self-righteousness person always minimizes and negates their own flaws while zooming-in and magnifying the flaws (real or perceived) of other people. There always has to be some "other" group to despise or feel better than for self-righteousness to work. And while it does not mean that all persons of one group have contempt for another group, in many cases there is that self-righteous attitude. For instance:

The religious person criticizes the atheist/agnostic and vice-versa.
The liberal shows contempt for conservatives and the conservative does not want to have anything to do with liberals, because we all know liberals have no morals (lol).
One Christian denomination criticizes another denomination for not being dedicated enough to "holy" living and following all the precepts in the Bible.
The older generations criticize the younger ones for being too wild or lascivious, while the younger ones criticize their elders for being out of touch and prude.
The "on-fire-for God" Christian who supposedly does it all right can't stand lukewarm Christians. The lukewarm Christian thinks the "on-fire" Christian is too judgmental and religious..
The adulterer says, "at least I did not embezzle money like Bernie Madoff".
The liar says, "at least I am not a thief".
The thief says, "at least I am not a homosexual."
The homosexual says, "it's not like I killed anybody."
The virgin looks down on the person having sex outside of marriage.
The person who never curses shows contempt for people who do.
The person without tattoos wonders how someone could defile their body with such trash.
The person who never swears can't stand people who cuss like sailors.
Sailors can't stand people who think that they cuss too much...lol
The alcoholic says, "at least I am not a crack-head"; the crack head says "at least I am not a pedophile"...
The poor person hates the perceived selfishness and greed of the rich person, the rich person hates the perceived laziness of the poor person.

I could go on and on, showing how we play these games to try and place ourselves on a moral pedestal above others. The irony is that while we are playing these silly games, we are quenching the love that should exist between us, the love that is supposed to connect us in our fallibility instead of dividing us with phony division-lines. Besides, what does God have to say about all these self-righteous games? At the foot of the cross, can there really be any boasting when it comes to our good deeds? All you have to do is read Ephesians 2:8-9 to get an answer to that question. We either try in futility to please God through obedience to the Law, or we come humbly through His grace and accept that the only thing that His law(s) can do is show our sin and how badly we need His grace. In order for the above illustration to even be close to anything accurate, we would all start with - 1,000,000 (that's negative one million points, because we are all born in sin) and would have to get to something like positive one hundred trillion points; this would give us the kind of idea how unattainable the goal is by our own efforts. We owe a debt we cannot pay. This is the priceless nature of God's gift of grace, accepting us as His children not because of what we have done, but because of what He has done though His son.

These are pretty humbling words as confirmed by Paul in Romans 3:10, 11, 12, & 19:

"As the Scriptures say, “No one is righteous — not even one. No one is truly wise; no one is seeking God. All have turned away; all have become useless. No one does good, not a single one.”........... Obviously, the law applies to those to whom it was given, for its purpose is to keep people from having excuses, and to show that the entire world is guilty before God."

Obviously this makes it quite clear that God is not fooled by our petty self-righteous games. If we truly realized the degree of our fallibility, we would appreciate and embrace the message and Covenant of Grace so much more. People think that talking about God's grace (His love for us that cannot be earned because it is one way love) is cheapening His message and an invitation to sin. But the real issue is that we live under the illusion that we can somehow gain enough points to impress God the same way that we would an employer. But trust me, at the foot of the cross, where Jesus died for us, there is no boasting. No one, not Billy Graham, not T.D. Jakes, not Creflo Dollar, not Joel Osteen, not your pastor, not the pope, not mother Theresa - has bragging rights. All of these persons are who they are because of God's grace. If this does not make you appreciate the message of God's love for us, I don't know what will. We totally pervert the Gospel when we even think that we can somehow gain God's acceptance by our good deeds. We should not do good deeds to gain God's approval, but because we are already approved in-Jesus.

"God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant." ~ Romans 5:20

Peace and love,

Stephen O. Akinduro

2010-04-01T09:07:00.000-07:00

Where do you take "soul" pain?

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Psalm 34:18

If there is one thing that I have learned interacting with other people, it is that there is always more to others than meets the naked eye. You may meet someone who appears to have it all going on: great job, great family, wonderful home etc, only to find out that they are plagued day and night with a series of life challenges and what I like to call "soul" pain. I am talking about the kind of pain that "blues" music is made of, the kind of pain that makes you holla, cry, or groan in your private moments. Sometimes, the only thing we can say in prayer when this kind of pain hits us is "Lord have mercy on me!" Fortunately for us, God understands what we are going through, and He can relate to every form of "soul" pain that plagues us...I get great comfort when I read about Jesus in the words of the prophet Isaiah:

"My servant grew up in the Lord’s presence like a tender green shoot, like a root in dry ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him. He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all. He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word.He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. Unjustly condemned, he was led away. No one cared that he died without descendants, that his life was cut short in midstream. But he was struck down for the rebellion of my people. He had done no wrong and had never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man’s grave. But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have many descendants. He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord’s good plan will prosper in his hands." Isaiah 53:2-10 (NLT)

It is clear from this passage that Jesus can relate to any form of "soul" pain that we are going through, and when He says, "I understand, I am here for you", it is not just another platitude offered just to stop the conversation. What is it that bothers your soul? Financial troubles? Emotional pain from a damaged relationship? Bitterness from a betrayal? A mental or physical disability? Rage from injustice, whether real or perceived? Rejection from others? Loneliness? Addiction? A bitter divorce? A wayward child? No matter what it is, Jesus understands. Imagine, the one who created all of this, being rejected and despised by His own very creation. That is a level of pain that I don't think I can fathom..But it gives me solace in knowing that Jesus, the one who died and rose from the dead so that we can have eternal life, is familiar with "soul" pain, and as I am comforted, I can use that same spirit of love to comfort others.

Easter is a time when we come to appreciate the message of God's grace - the message of redemption and forgiveness extended to us through Jesus. At the foot of the cross, all divisions and lines of self-righteousness disappear, because there can be no boasting at the cross. It does not matter what your ethnic background is, your political affiliation, your ideological beliefs, at the foot of the cross, we are all rendered helpless and in need of God's grace. When the Bible says that we have all sinned and fallen short of God's glory (Rom 3:23), this is not some line to simply make us feel bad, but it is a reminder that no matter how "righteous" others may appear in their outward appearance, we all need God's grace, our humanity connects us because we are all fallible....God is not fooled by the self-righteous games that we often play to pit one group against the other; the ultimate test of our faith is being able to love other fallible beings. When we realize how much God loves us and comforts us, in spite of our flaws, we cannot help but extend that love to others. To be loved by God is to learn to love others, one does not go without the other.

Have a great Easter weekend!!

Peace and love,
Stephen O. Akinduro

2010-03-18T12:35:00.000-07:00

Is America a Christian or a Capitalist nation?

You often hear the debate in political circles: one side insisting that since our founding Fathers drew on Christian principles to form this great nation, this makes America a Christian nation; others argue that while the nation has been heavily influences by Christianity, it would be unwise to say that we are a Christian nation, because we have freedom of religion, giving everyone the choice to practice religion or not to practice at all, if they so desire. This debate influences a lot of topics, especially the hot-button ones like abortion and same sex marriage.

Of late, however, there has been a different twist to this debate in light of the current battle over healthcare reform. Commentator Glenn Beck recently called for people to leave their church if there was any mention of social justice in that church's agenda. Does he realize that movements like those for womens rights or civil rights for minorities were movements for social justice? I guess in his world, not only would there not be a title-9 that really helped women, but women would not be voting and blacks would still be at the back of the bus. Mind you, Glenn Beck calls himself a devout Christian. On the other side, you have people like Rev. Jim Wallis and Rev. James L. Evans, Rev. Evans having written a powerful commentary entitled, "it's not socialism but neighborlyism", about our responsibility to others, in light of the current economic crisis. They argue that social justice is an integral part of Jesus' message. You can read Rev. Evans'commentary online.

In a few days, the congress is going to possibly take an up or down vote on whether or not there should be some kind of reform to our healthcare system that will enable those without adequate healthcare to get it. Take this into account: As of right now, the United States is the ONLY developed country in the world that does not have some kind of Universal healthcare system for its citizens. We are also the richest nation in the world. Opponents of any kind of healthcare reform love to use the bogeyman called "socialism" to scare people away from any type of reform. They forget that everyone in this country is really at a very fragile point right now, if you lose your job, you have two choices, either pay hundreds of dollars a month for unaffordable COBRA healthcare, or simply pray to God you don't get sick. And if you are sick, you better pray to God that your claims are approved and that they do not fall within some loophole for which you are not covered, like pre-existing conditions. The reason for this complex system is simple, no country has mastered the art of making money like the United States, and insurance companies with tremendous lobbying power know that there is much money to be lost in choosing a non-for -profit healthcare system. This is why I would argue that we are not a Christian country, but a capitalist Nation that comprises of many Christians, because Christianity is the dominant religion. You hear people saying stuff like, "I don't want socialized healthcare like France, Britain or Canada," but nine times out of ten, the people making such claims have never been to those nations and experienced what their healthcare system is really like, they are just speaking based on the usual oppositions talking points. Isn't it ironic that a nation that boasts to be the epitome of what Christianity is supposed to look like, often ignores Jesus' call to look out for the least of these in society? (Matthew 25:45). To be fair, we are a very generous people, as was made quite public in the aftermath of the recent earthquake in Haiti, but it seems like whenever we start talking about some type of governmental reform to help others, the "no-socialism" card is brought out as fast as possible. I heard one famous conservative commentator saying that if we simply relied on the goodwill of the American people, there would not even be any need for welfare programs. Really?!

It is no accident that when Jesus was often asked about what to do to inherit the kingdom of God, he often mentioned taking care of the poor amongst us. This is not to say that heaven is a reward for doing good deeds, but to say that we cannot be heaven bound without having compassion and empathy for the broken and needy amongst us. Of course, the opposing talking point to this message is, well, the Bible says "if you don't work, you should not eat", but let me ask you this question, "would you turn away your own needy child from a meal?" We go to those parts of Scripture that justify our agenda, but I can guarantee you that if you search the Gospels, you will find without question that Jesus got the most criticism because he held dear to his heart those whom society had rejected. Some would argue that Jesus was a capitalist, and while I don't want to get into that debate, I know one thing for sure, Jesus had a heart for the needy amongst us.

I am currently reading "The Healing of America" by T.R. Reid, and excellent look at all the healthcare systems around the world, and how they differ. The author, not buying in to the talking points, has taken an honest look at the best and worst of the healthcare providers by nation. France ranks #1 according to the World Health Organization not only in cost efficiency but quality of care: Here is a quote from the book:

"Insurance plans in France - caisses d'assurance maladie or "sickness insurance funds" - are nonprofit entities....Consequently, the French system eliminates some aspects of health insurance that Americans hate the most. French Insurance funds can't turn you down for coverage, regardless of age or preexisting conditions. They can't terminate your coverage when you lose or change your job (when a French worker loses her job, she keeps the same insurance plan; the government pays the employer's share of the premium). They can't deny a claim; once the doctor submits a bill, insurance has to pay it. There's no deductible; French insurance pays from the first euro billed. The long delays in reimbursement that are common for American insurance companies are illegal in France....As a general rule, the French don't have to wait in line to see a general practitioner or a specialist; waiting times are usually about the same as those for people with insurance in the United States. ...there is almost no limitation on a patients choice in France. There's no such thing as the "in-network" and "out of network" lists developed by US insurance companies; under French law, every health facility is "in network." Any patient can go to any doctor, any specialist, any surgeon, and any hospital or clinic in the whole country, and the insurance company must pay the bill. If you feel sick, you can call an ambulance to take you to the doctor or hospital of your choice for free." And all the patients information is stored on a small green card called "the vital card" or "carte vitale" to prevent all the administrative overhead that is needed in the United States to store patients information.

Now, I know what some of you may be thinking, "Here goes another U.S. bashing liberal, if you like it that much in France, why don't you go and live there?" Well, I have lived there, and never saw any problems with their healthcare system while my family was there during my formative years. Sometimes, you have to take a look at things from a non-Fox-news perspective....lol

But seriously, if a country like France, with only a fraction of the population of the United States, could come up with such a terrific healthcare system for her citizens, why can't we? The answers lies in one word, Capitalism!! I am not anti-capitalism, but I think there are some things that should not be run on a for-profit basis, and the health of real people is one of those things. Our boasting about how Christian we are should be much more than the number of mega-churches that we can boast of in a given radius, or how many Bible verses we can recite in a given time frame. The true mark of how much we love God will always be about how we treat others, especially the most helpless amongst us. Because remember, everyone reading this at this point in time has a family member that is in desperate need, whether financial or medical. It is a shame that after one of the biggest financial collapses in recent American history, big CEO and executives of the very firms that orchestrated this mess can walk away with millions in golden parachutes, while the common person who probably has to keep working because they lost their retirement savings gets absolutely nothing. Is this really looking out for others? I wonder...Capitalism at its core is concerned with only one thing, how much is in it for me, a very narcissistic tenet. This is why we should be careful, because it is easy to become greedy when the game is working in your favor!

Peace & love:

Stephen O. Akinduro

2010-02-23T11:28:00.000-08:00

WHAT IS LOVE?

"Real love isn't our love for God, but his love for us. God sent his Son to be the sacrifice by which our sins are forgiven." 1 John 4:10 (Contemporary English Version)

What does it mean to love someone? Or let me rephrase the question, since we have just celebrated Valentine's day 9 days ago (also known as 'singles awareness day" to some), what does it mean to love someone within the context of a romantic or marital relationship? The distinction is important, because we all know that saying the words "I love you" has to be put in the context of the object of that love. Saying "I love French fries" is totally different from saying "I love my daughter", and this is totally different from saying "I love my job". The word "love" can mean anything from an intense sense of liking someone or something, to a lustful desire, or even a true form of altruism that is willing to sacrifice self at any cost.

We all want to be loved unconditionally; we all want to receive the kind of love that is not based on our performance. But unfortunately, us being human, we tend to take our emotional or spiritual baggage into our romantic relationships. As one of my favorite comedians, Chris Rock, has rightly said, when you are dating someone, you are not meeting the real them, but their representative. This is quite ironic, because if we truly loved someone the way that God loves us, unconditionally, we would not have to know all that we need to know about them before we could determine if we "love' them. Usually, when we say that we love one, we are implying that there is something in that person's character that makes us "love" them. It could be their looks, their intelligence, their compassionate spirit, their altruism, charisma, etc. But is this real love?

In his bestselling book, "The conversation", CSI: NY actor and author, Hill Harper lists 5 different kinds of loves, from the most selfless kind - Agape love (which is the kind of love that God has for us) - to the more lustful kind of love, Eros, which is based on physical or sensual attraction:

Agape - pure or ideal love.

Storge - the love a parent has for a child.

Philia (where we get our word Philadelphia) - honorable love or brotherly love for community and friends.

Xenia - love expressed through hospitality to others.

Eros - passionate, erotic, sensual love.

Think about these distinctions the next time you tell someone that you "love them." What kind of love are you talking about? I truly believe that the primary reason why we have such a hard time really loving our partners the way that we should is that we often have unhealed wounds that we project on to those whom we are closest to. As Joyce Meyers often says, "hurting people hurt other people" and the cycle just keeps being passed down from person to person, generation to generation, until someone decides to say "stop" and bask in the wonder and vastness of God's healing grace. We all need a place where we are loved without the kinds of strings that pull at us everyday of our lives, from work to school. To love another is to pay forward the love that we receive in our hearts from a loving God. Contrary to popular opinion, God's love for us in hot predicated on our jumping through hoops for Him, it just is. I
I will never forget a lesson that a pastor friend of mine shared with me while he was still alive. He talked about his love for his wife and how when they first met, he said that he loved her mainly because she was so beautiful and met almost all of his criteria for a woman. But after they had been married for almost two decades, he said that he could truly say that he had learned to loved her unconditionally, similar to the way that God loves us; he realized that she had flaws, and so did he, but he loved her anyway. That is true love. And this is what frees us to fulfill our destiny and purpose in life. It is also what brings the vitality and joy in our hearts to the surface.

The late great Teddy Pendergrass' song "tell me that you love me" highlights these points so beautifully. It is attached below:

Peace to you!
Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2010-02-16T10:06:00.000-08:00

A Conversation about Christianity. Part 3: The Conclusion

As previously stated in part 1 of this series, David, a pastor, and Jermaine, a businessman, met on a place ride to the West Coast. They had a lively discussion about Christianity. Jermaine, a self-proclaimed agnostic who was once a "born-again Christian" expressed his concerns about how religion had perverted the message of God's love, to the extent that this message exists. This eventually led him to abandon religion altogether, even though he still had tremendous respect for Jesus and His message (you can read the previous two parts of this dialogue on my blog). They established a friendship and exchanged contact information. David and Jermaine are now meeting up at a restaurant in L.A. to talk more about faith.

David: I was really moved by what we discussed the last time, maybe because you mentioned your friend who used to be in the ministry and how he was ostracized due to his struggles.. I really do feel for him and what he went through..

Jermaine: it was a very painful experience for him, and he is still hurting and trying to pick himself up. Now don't get me wrong, he was struggling with something that is considered sinful by Biblical standards and I am not hear to justify his actions, but if the church is supposed to be a haven of God's grace, I wonder why people like him often feel more condemnation than love. It is something that never ceases to baffle me.

David: Well, one of the issues is that people feel that if you focus too much on God's grace, then people will take sin for granted, so there is this repeated emphasis on people trying to obey Biblical Law...

Jermaine: I understand that, but isn't the primary message that Jesus came to bring one of grace, and not the law? What is that verse , "where sin abounds, grace abounds even much more"?

David: That's from Romans chapter 5, verse 20...

Jermaine: Exactly....and as we discussed on the plane, not only is no one really obeying Biblical law, the law can do only one thing - and that is convict a person of sin. I will give you a great example. The other day a popular TV minister was on and he was raving on and on about young people who go to nightclubs. He talked about how nothing really productive could come out of going to a nightclub, because the music is secular and does not honor God, and usually the way kids dance these days, it is really sex with their clothes on, bumping and grinding their private areas against each other. In any case, while he was talking, the camera zoomed across his large congregation and many people were giggling and laughing at his comments. But then I noticed something interesting, something that is really trivial. Very few if any of the women in the congregation had any hats, scarfs or any covering on their head. You may ask, "what does that have to do with anything?" Well, go to the Bible in 1st Corinthians chapter 11 and it basically says that a woman should not be in public without her hair being covered. If she does so, her hair should be shaved. It is right there in your Bible, read it. How many times have you heard sermons on this topic? The Bible has little to say about going to nightclubs, but much to say about how women should dress in public. My point is that it is the nature of self-righteousness, as you pointed out the last time, to find something in others that you can't stand - like going to nightclubs, oh how easy it is to pick on young people and their lifestyle as if we were never young before. But while we do this, we ignore the very laws of the Bible that we often claim to uphold. If people really saw how they fell short of the law, the would embrace the message of grace, which is the message of the New Covenant, but because they don't, the church is often not as compassionate as it should be...

David: Your understanding is really profound, and I will say it again, I really don't consider you an agnostic, but simply a follower of Jesus who is disgusted with organized religion. But that is another discussion altogether...

Jermaine: (giggling)

David: But you are right, ask almost any minister about women covering their heads in church, and they will tell you that we are under "grace" and that those laws do not apply to us anymore. And yet, many of these same pastors in some denominations will use this same passage of Scripture which emphasizes the assumed superiority of the man over the woman to justify women not being ordained in church, even though you have women in executive positions and running mega-corporations in the real world. It is a paradox, I do agree. But as I have pointed out, you cannot expect anything else from the self-righteous mind, because that is what self-righteousness does, so that the real point of the Gospel, helping and loving others is ignored in the process..

Jermaine: And think about this, David...In almost any large church, you are going to have people from every socio-economic background. You may have the successful lawyer sitting next to a janitor or even a person who has just lost their job in the economic recession. In the ideal world, why should the suffering have to rely mainly on social services to get their needs met when there are people who have plenty right there in the church? Is it simply a matter of giving tithes to the church to benefit the church to build bigger buildings and so on or is it so that the church can help others? And where do we get the notion that the church is a place you go to? Church is not the building, it is not a location, church is people, a body of believers. Me and you talking right now are part of church. When we reduce church to a building and corporate-like institution, we make it another corporation whose main goal is to serve itself. We then start to judge success basically the same way that corporations do, in terms of size and numbers, instead of the quality of people's lives.

David: But we are called to evangelize to people and win them for Christ. Are you saying that is not important?

Jermaine: of course not, but what use is evangelism if your converts are still suffering? remember, many of the colonizers who went to Africa told the Africans that they were winning them for Jesus, but then they took advantage of many of these gullible Africans and exploited them of their land and resources. To win someone for Christ and not at least attempt to address their suffering I simply something that people do to make themselves feel good and say "well, i did my part, I won 5 people for Christ today." What was the point of Jesus' parable of the Sheep and Goats in Matthew 25 where he says. "when I was hungry you fed me; thirsty you gave me water; in prison, you came to see me " and "as you did for the least of people, you did for me"? Was it not to say that we have a responsibility to help one another? It seems that modern Christianity has reduced the entire faith to "what can you do for me God to make me richer and more prosperous and make my portfolio larger?" Forgetting that God never blesses us to hoard the wealth, but to share it with others. You say that today, and people say stuff like, "you must be a socialist, if they [the suffering] would just work hard and apply themselves and tithe, then God will bless them like he has blessed me." And to that I will say, you have obviously not seen the ways in which oppressive conditions and regimes like in many third world countries, make it practically impossible for most of their citizens to prosper easily.

David: But to be fair, Jermaine, you know that many churches are very generous with their wealth and resources, and there are many Christian leaders who are realizing that there is extensive need not just home and abroad. Rick Warren for instance, is passionate about Africa and AIDS relief there and there are many others like Brian McLaren, Cornel West, Michael Eric Dyson, who have a prophetic voice about our need to help the "least among us!" And there is a great book out now called "the hole in our Gospel" that addresses this very issue. The author, Richard Stearns, used to be a successful executive for a huge company before he left to help the least among us, especially in developing countries

Jermaine: Yes, you are right, and I hope it does not sound like I am casting aspersions on all Christians. But the names you mentioned are often the exception and not the rule. Hopefully, their message will start to resonate more and the church, the body of Christ, will start to look more like the haven of love that it should be...I had a dear nephew who died a few years ago after years of substance abuse. He was a good kid and heart, but when he started experimenting with drugs in college, his life went down hill. Before he knew it, he was a full blown addict. When he started going to church, he was told by a number of well meaning but ill informed elders of the church that if he would simply dedicate his life to God, get saved, and be serious about obeying the Bible, he would be free from addiction. He tried like hell to stop, and was in and out of rehab, but he never could stop. After a final relapse, he would eventually consume a lethal overdose of drugs. His last entry on his twitter page was, "I never really believed God could ever love someone like me, I have done all that I know how to be set free from this addiction, but nothing seems to work. If my actions send me to hell, well so be it, I have been in hell for the last 4 years anyway". Here was a person desperately seeking unadulterated love, but never found it, even at church, where it should exist in abundance.

David: I am so sorry about what happened to your nephew. My personal belief is that God does not neglect people like him. It is us, in our perverted understanding of the Gospel that project our views about God on to other people. The real catch is many people think that if you love someone like that, you will enable their bad behavior. The way I look at it is the same way a responsible, but loving mother would. Yes, she would insist that her son should get help, but she would be there for him every step of the way, even going to see him in rehab if possible....

Jermaine: And that is exactly what his mother did, even though his dad, my brother, had practically given up on him. He was so embarrassed and ashamed that his son had not fulfilled his full potential. We even had some heated arguments about this, because I tried to convince him that no matter what, that was his son; but my brother is a very proud and goal-oriented man, and he always wanted his son to follow in his footsteps as a successful entrepreneur, but it never happened......

David: With all that in mind, Jermaine, what would the perfect church look like to you? I know the question is kinda odd, because there is no such thing as a perfect church, because it is made up of imperfect people, but what would you like to see in a church..

Jermaine: For one, the church is not the building, it is the people, in fruitful relationships with one another to help one another in grace and love. It is people connecting in the spirit of compassion and forgiveness that Jesus showed. That, for me is church, I know it is not saying much, but it is saying a lot....

2010-02-06T08:21:00.000-08:00

A conversation about Christianity (Part 2)

David: Before I left, you mentioned that the church should be more authentic when it comes to people's flaws, and I could not agree with you any more. As a pastor, I don't want people to get the wrong impression that just because I am gifted, I am somehow flawless. That would not only be a lie, but it would make people start to idolize me, instead of keeping their eyes on Jesus, the author and the finisher of their faith...

Jermaine: So why do you think it is so hard for people in Christian circles to be more authentic?

David: Well, there are a number of reasons. But the main one I can think of is self-righteousness, which is in my opinion, the biggest challenge that the church faces. Self-righteousness is the assumption that God loves me because I keep a certain set of rules. A self-righteous person is always placing themselves somewhere on the hierarchy chart. For instance, the person who does not drink alcohol, may tend to look down on those that do, or the person who does not listen to secular music may frown on those that do, especially if it pertains to hip-hop, the culture that we so easily pick on, to our own eventual detriment if you ask me. But people tend to embrace self-righteousness because it is an easy and cheap substitute for the real Gospel and because we misunderstand what it really means to be a Christian or a follower of Jesus. Many think that to admit that I still struggle in some areas after I give my life to Christ, is to somehow diminish the power of the Gospel. I tend to think otherwise, I think it is a testament to the fact that God uses imperfect people. We tend to be so focused on making sure that people live what we call "holy" lives, but even the definition of holiness varies from church to church. Some denominations, for instance, have no problem with wine drinking, even using it in their communion, other denominations see any form of drinking alcohol as near heresy. Jesus, however, was less concerned about the particulars of our moral code than whether we loved other people. Once we get to the point where we realize that our petty moral codes do nothing to make us more acceptable to God, then we can fully embrace the message of God's grace and love. Love is supposed to be our hallmark. When we get overly consumed with who is sinning and what they are doing, we forget that many of the people that we view as "giants of the faith" were deeply flawed. David committed adultery and murder. Moses murdered. Abraham lied about his wife. Noah was a drunk, Paul had a thorn in his flesh which he begged God to remove three times, Solomon was a womanizer. I could go on and on. Many of these people would be thrown out of our churches in a New York minute if they were trying to serve today.

Jermaine: Exactly David. I saw many of my pastor friends suffering under the weight of trying to put up this perfect front, all in the name of making sure that their congregation did not have the wrong impression of them, or think that they were embedded in some secret sin. This probably explains why many preachers tend to preach law, but secretly yearn for grace. We like to hear "law" sermons, because they make it easy for us to separate "us" the so-called righteous ones, from "them" the so-called sinners. But as you say, this is self-righteousness. This may explain why so many preachers are not only living a lie, but putting so much pressure on their family members, especially their kids to live this 'perfect' life. It's no wonder there are so many negative myths about preachers kids turning out so wild. When you grow up in a household where you've been told that everything is sinful, you can't wait to turn 18 and get out of your parents' house and get buck-wild.

David: But let's be honest, Jermaine, not all Preachers' kids turn out that way. I think I have done a fairly good job with my kids, most of the credit goes to my wife for that; and I have friends in the ministry who have done well with their kids also. For me and my wife, we tried to stress more than anything else not only in words, but also in deed, that we loved them no matter what, and that they should never feel that there is anything that they can do to make me "unlove" them. That is where real freedom comes from, being loved in spite of ones flaws.

Jermaine: Well, your kids are part of the lucky ones..

David: Jermaine, If you don't mind me asking, what was it exactly that led you to your disillusionment with Christianity? Was it a particular event, sermon? What was it?

Jermaine: Okay, I will not give any names or anything like that. But let me first say that for a long time I had been having serious doubts and questions about religion, specifically Christianity, because that is what I practiced. I wondered why, for instance, Christians run to the Old Testament when they want to use a law for their own selfish purpose, but then run to the New Testament and the doctrine of love and forgiveness when it comes to themselves. Let me give you a couple of examples. Take war and revenge for instance. You can easily go to the Old Testament and justify any kind of revenge or even war. After all, there were instances where God specifically told the Israelites to go and destroy their enemies, leaving nothing to spare, women, children, animals. KILL everyone and everything! Does this sound like a God of love to you? No wonder when the country was making the case for war with Iraq, fundamentalist Christians were amongst the biggest cheer-leaders and war-mongers, a fact that really troubled me. It is one thing to want war, it is another thing to salivate for it, which is what it seemed most were doing. And yet, As Christians we are supposed to be reluctant to embrace violence per the teachings of Jesus. Was it not Jesus who said that we should love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us? But then we run to "there is a time to kill" per the teaching of Ecclesiastes when we want to have our way or "preserve or rights". We tend to only want to apply the teaching of love when we are the ones that done wrong and in need for forgiveness. It is no wonder that many of the brightest teachers of pacifism and compassion like Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr. were all assassinated. Their messages went against the grain. We live in a world that loves the eye-for-an-eye doctrine, even though the teachings of Jesus nullify that method.

David: You are making some great points.....

Jermaine: I could go on and on about how Christians, although they claim we are no longer under the law because of Jesus' sacrifice, still go and cherry-pick from the law when it fits their agenda. Take capital punishment. Ask practically any Christian if they think Capital punishment if warranted in some cases, and I can guarantee you that most will say yes! Well, okay then, if that is the case, why don't you advocate killing a disobedient child, or killing someone who works on the Sabbath or someone (man or woman ) caught in the act of adultery - and remember Jesus made it clear that adultery also includes looking at a person with lust. All of these offenses and many more are punishable by death, according to Old Testament law, but the same Christians who want to cherry-pick laws to fit their agenda ignore this fact and say "oh, those laws don't apply to us anymore, we are under grace!" They only say that when THEY are the ones being persecuted, but let someone hurt them or someone in their family, then they want the full measure of Biblical law applied to the OTHER person. We criticize Muslims who practice strict Sharia law in some fundamentalist nations, but they are not doing anything that is foreign to Old Testament Christian teaching. We say that stoning someone to death - which is still done in some Muslim regions - is barbaric, but have you read your Bible, it is prescribed right there in black and white for certain offenses.

David: So are you saying we should go back to 100% Old Testament teaching?

Jermaine: No, not at all David. I am just pointing out the hypocrisy of those who want to have it both ways, they want to live by Grace and Law and the same time. They say that we are who we are as Christians by God's Grace through Jesus, but then they cherry-pick laws out of the Bible to fit their agenda, insisting that there are some laws that we must follow. Why is it, for instance, that some still preach that if you don't tithe, you are under a curse?

David: Well that is what it says in Malachi chapter 3....

Jermaine: But I thought Jesus took away the curse at the cross? Why should I feel like if I don't give that amount, I am hell bound and under a curse? Doesn't the Apostle Paul say that we should give, not out of compulsion, but as we have determined to do so in our hearts? I am not anti-tithe, so please don't misquote me and say that people should not give to their local church, but to insist that they give a certain percentage otherwise they are under a curse is against the teaching of Grace. It should not matter whether they give 1%, 5%, 10% or 100%, the point is that giving or not giving is not what takes the curse away. Jesus' sacrifice did. Doesn't Paul say in Galatians 3 that anyone who does not obey ALL the teachings of the law is under a curse? So why limit it to tithing? Yes, Jesus mentioned tithing, but he said there were more important aspects of the law...and I believe for Him the most important law is to love others as we love ourselves. The point I am getting at is that the primary purpose of Biblical law is to show us that no one is keeping it, and to lead us to embrace the message of God's grace. The minute you start cherry-picking some laws and leaving out the rest, you start creating self-righteous cliques; for example, like the tithers vs the non-tithers or drinkers vs non-drinkers.

David: Wow, you have really opened a can of worms with that one! I will say, quite honestly, that most pastors and I am one of them, stress tithing as much as we do because we have a budget to run and many of us are scared that if we don't stress the 10% , we will not get the funds that we need to run our ministries. Yes, tithing is a Biblical principle, in my opinion, and we can debate whether it is an Old Testament law or not, remember Abraham did tithe and that was way before Moses was given the law. But I do believe that tithing is stressed because it takes a lot of money to run a church. That is one of the reasons why we stress tithing....To be honest, it actually takes more faith on the part of the pastor to trust that he will get the funds if he does not teach strict tithing, but trusts that people will give out of an appreciation of God's grace..But you may never hear me say that from my pulpit...lol

Jermaine: Well, I hope I did not offend you by bringing that up. I know the subject of tithing is a sensitive one. It was just an observation. But back to what really led me to my disillusionment. I have a close friend who was the pastor of a thriving church. He had started to make a name for himself in evangelical circles because his church was growing very rapidly. He was and still is a man of great compassion and a deep love for people. The only problem was that he struggled deeply in an area of his life. I will spare you the details for privacy reasons. We talked many a times about this struggle and he always told me that he was scared that if his church found out, he would be expelled from the ministry. His wife had even told him that if it bothered him that much and he felt that it would affect his job, he should leave the ministry, because he could easily find a "real" job in corporate America. Anyway, he decided to stay in ministry because he believed that God had called him to do so and seeing how his ministry touched so many lives, I believed him; but through an unfortunate incident, word of his struggle got out....I can not tell you how the fallout from that destroyed his life...

David: What happened?

Jermaine: Well, first he lost the pastorate of his church, because it was deemed too serious of an issue for him to stay. As an act of discipline, he was relieved of his duties as pastor. This led him into a deep depression, one that led him down a path towards alcohol, a sad case considering that he never drank before all of this happened. He almost lost his marriage because of all this, but fortunately, his wife, a woman of deep compassion and love for my friend, stuck it out and is still with him. He is still not working anywhere, in fact he told me he spends most of his day holed up in his study depressed. What he told me was he could not believe how people whom he loved so deeply could turn on him so quickly the way that they did. He was bold enough to admit his failings to his congregation, it was the deep rejection he felt from his so-called friends that stung him so badly.

David: Sounds a lot like what happened to Ted Haggard?!

Jermaine: Yes, it does, even though the particulars of his struggles are much different. What I learned from all of that was that for the most part, and I will admit that there are exceptions, most of the churches talk about grace and compassion is, and excuse me for saying this pastor, hogwash! I love this man like my own brother and I know he is a good man with a good heart. Does he have his flaws? Yes, but who among us does not. If his struggle was something like greed, gluttony, or unforgiveness, something that is not as tangible, he would have been forgiven in a heart beat, but because it was something else, something that is a hot button issue, he was cast aside like a leper in Jesus' day. This was the final straw for me. I could not deal with the self-righteousness any more...If living a self-righteous life is what it takes to be a successful Christian, then I want no part of the religion. I have enough stress in my life as it is with the pressures of work and taking care of a family, than to be worrying about whether I fit some religious moral code.

David: I am so sorry that your friend had to go through that. I pray that he will rediscover the wonder and magnificence of God's grace through his family and friends like you. I don't know the particulars of his situation, even though I have a guess, but I will just say that we as a church need to do better to put God's grace in practice, I think it starts with us really discovering what the message of Grace means. It is not just a matter of "getting saved" or "going to heaven when we die", it is a way of life. That is why I am doing a series on the subject right now. I think too often we Christians want to get so deep theologically and philosophically that we forget the all too important basics. I will cherish this discussion that I have had with you, because believe it or not, you stepped on my toes as well. But the beauty of the message of Grace, is that we are forgiven and extend that same forgiveness to others.

Jermaine: If the church, in general, embraced this message of Grace, the message that you are talking about, then the Ted Haggards of the world and people like my dear friend would not have to live behind a mask of pseudo-perfection, making it seem like all their ducks are in a row, when they know that they are struggling. Yes, even leaders need help and the support of others and should be free to get the help and counsel that they need to deal with their struggles. I heard that when Ted Haggard told some leaders in his church about his struggle, they told him to just stay more focused on ministry, what nonsense, like that is what his real problem was!! Just because they are pastors does not mean that they don't need support, prayer and counsel. That is why I don't envy your profession. It is not only an extremely lonely job, but one where you are in a fishbowl 24/7.

David: I must say, that you are a very wise person and you have made some excellent observations. I am glad that we have met, and we need to exchange contact information so that we can continue our dialogue and friendship. I really don't think you have abandoned your faith, it seems to me that you just got disillusioned with the institution of religion. And I don't blame you, because your observations are very valid...

Jermaine: Well, it has been my pleasure talking to you. And forgive me if I sounded too harsh on the church. This is just stuff that has been bothering me for some time..

David: You don't have to apologize to me, the fact is that I wrestle with a lot of those same issues daily. It's nice to have this kind of discussion with someone who really understands....

2010-02-03T12:50:00.000-08:00

A Conversation about Christianity (Part 1)

David is a minister of a relatively successful church. He is traveling on a speaking engagement from Atlanta to Los Angeles. On the flight, he ends up being seated next to Jermaine, a religious skeptic and business consultant. Jermaine notices that David is reading a Christian book about God's grace written by a prominent Christian leader. The following conversation takes place:

Jermaine: I see you are reading a Christian book about grace? How are you enjoying it so far?

David: It's really good. Are you a Christian? Or let me rephrase that, are you are follower of Jesus? I realize that in some circles, Christianity carries such a negative connotation.

Jermaine: I like the way you re-phrased your question. If you are asking me if I am a Christian, the simple answer is no. If you are asking me if I have respect and admiration for Jesus and His teachings, the answer would be "yes"! I believe it was Gandhi who said something to the effect of "I like your Christ, it's your Christians that I can't stand; they're nothing like your Christ." I would rather be called an agnostic than be called a Christian, because I truly believe that none of us really knows with 100% certainty what God is like, if He does exist, hence the need for faith, but the problem is that every major religion thinks that their way is the ONLY way, and they use all kinds of tactics to discredit others. But, I must share with you that at one time I was totally immersed in Christian-culture. I did place my faith in Jesus as a teenager, sincerely realizing that I had sinned or "fallen short" of God's standard, as it is popularly said. I got baptized, once by immersion, and another time to get the Holy Spirit and I went through the whole "born-again" thing; I could recognize sin ten miles away. Not to bore you, but let's just say that I eventually got disillusioned.

David: Interesting, and I am sorry about your disillusionment experience, whatever that was. By the way, My name is David, and I am a pastor; I hear stories about people who are fed up with religion every day, many even go as far as call themselves "recovering Christians", which is one of the reasons I am reading this book. I want to know how to better present the raw Gospel free of all the religious baggage that seems to turn people off.

Jermaine: It's nice to meet you David. I'm Jermaine, and I do business consulting for a living. I help corporations maximize their efficiency through effective leadership. In fact, I used to do some work with large churches. I do wish you luck in trying to present the "raw gospel" as you call it, but my experience has been that even though most Christians talk a good deal about God's love, His grace, compassion and all that good stuff, it's usually more empty rhetoric than anything else.

David: What is your understanding of the Gospel?

Jermaine: Well, the way I came to understood the gospel - or Good news - as it is called, God's love for us overrides our flaws. To put it in the words of author Philip Yancey, "there is nothing we can do to make God love us anymore, and there is nothing we can do to make God love us any less." The way this is supposed to work in practice, in my opinion, is that Christians should be the least judgmental people out there, because they should realize that their status as God's children and the blessings that God gives His children has nothing to do with their religious performance, but all to do with God's compassion, grace and mercy. This is the way it should be, but this is not how it often is....

David: I do agree with you Jermaine. I will be the first to say that many professed Christians, as sincere as they may be, do not really understand the Good News of the Gospel. One of my seminary professors once told me, and I never forgot this, that if the Gospel that you preach does not make some to really question if it is too good to be true, and if some do not actually think that it is too good to be true, then re-examine the Gospel that you are preaching. I never forgot that. And I quickly realized that it was easier for people to understand a message that mixed Grace and works, a false gospel that implied that God will continue to love you as long as you continued to obey a certain set of rules, rules that vary from church to church...

Jermaine: Exactly, now you are getting my drift. I saw this too often. Like I said, I did consulting work for a number of pretty prominent churches, and I will not name names, because I would like to protect their privacy, but I quickly learned that the preached message of Grace was not taking hold in peoples' hearts. For the most part, you were only accepted as long as you kept whatever relevant rules of that church; whether it was not drinking, not smoking, not listening to secular music, paying your tithes etc. How can you tell people on one hand that you are free from the curse of the law, as Paul says in his teachings in the Bible, but then you cherry-pick those laws that people must obey, otherwise they are in wrong standing with God. How can you tell people on one hand that all their sins - past, present and future- are forgiven, but then imply that somehow they are out of right standing with God if they don't obey certain rules?

David: Are you sure you never led a church, your theology is pretty sound?

Jermaine: (giggling) No, I never did, but let's just say that at one time I thought I may have been called to ministry...

David: You have brought up many important points, and I wish I could rationalize why we, myself included, tend to pervert the Gospel. The only thing I can say is that the message of God's grace is very hard for many people to comprehend or grasp because it goes against practically everything we are taught; after all, we are all led to believe that there is no such thing as a free lunch.

Jermaine: Well, at least you are honest. And I know I should probably not be saying this, but when I saw pastors doing things that they often scolded their congregants for doing, and applying grace to themselves, but not to their members, I was totally turned off.

David: Well, as a pastor, I know that we are all human, and even though we may be anointed to do something, it does not mean that we don't have flaws. I will be the first to say that. I don't say that to excuse my weaknesses, but I think too often people forget that pastors need the same grace that they need. No amount of being gifted will ever exempt you from needing God's grace, in fact you should be more aware of your need for it...

Jermaine: ....that may be true, but why does it seem like the measure of success in so many Christian circles is based on who can keep the right rules, or who tithes more consistently? People are dying out there, from physical, psychological and emotional suffering, and yet instead of being beacons of God's love, the church seems to be more concerned with what my public stance on abortion or gay rights is?

David: I wish I could say that you were wrong, but I know where you are coming from. But there are many churches that don't take open political stances on such issues, and maintain an apolitical stance. In my church, there are members who are liberal, some who are conservative, others who are independent. And I try to teach that we are much more than our stance on issues, and that even if you disagree with someone's political stance, that does not mean you should not be there for them if they need you...

Jermaine: Well that sounds all well and good for a sermon, but I can almost guarantee you that that is not how it plays out in practice...

David: Have you ever considered that maybe as broken and flawed vessels the church [as an institution] will never perfectly display the kind of love that you talk about?

Jermaine: I have thought about that, and I do agree that being flawed, we will never fully love others like Jesus did. So if that is the case, why can't Christians simply be a little more authentic about the struggles that they go through, so that they can really help one another, instead of putting on these self-righteous fronts, where it seems like the minute a person becomes "born-again" they are afraid to really admit that they still have issues, for fear of someone saying that they are not serious about their faith?

David: Hold that thought, I'll be right back, I have to use the restroom!!

to be continued......

2010-01-30T08:24:00.000-08:00

When suffering doesn't make sense.

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

The rubble had barely settled in Haiti after the devastating earthquake that recently rocked the country when Pat Robertson of the 700 club gave his opinion as to why Haiti was suffering so much. He said that it was because of a two-century old pact that the Haitians has supposedly made with the devil when they were fighting for freedom from their French colonizers. This assumption by Pat Robertson is not only a perversion of Haitian history (Google up "Haiti" and read for yourself), but also a grossly insensitive comment to make in a time of profound suffering. It is no different from the assumptions made by some ministers after 911 here in the United States that God allowed such devastation because of the rampant sins of homosexuality and abortion (isn't ironic that these same ministers did not include sins like greed, lust, bitterness and pride?)

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people start to make religious assumptions as to why someone else is suffering. When someone is suffering, the person is not interested in high sounding theological theories or assumptions as to why they are in their predicament, they simply want relief. Yes, it is true that in some cases, suffering is a direct result of irresponsible behavior. If I go and steal something and get caught and get convicted and sent to prison, I am paying a price for my actions. If I cheat on my spouse and get caught and she chooses to leave me in a nasty divorce, I am paying a price for my actions. But there are so many instances where the simple assumptions of "suffering-is-always-a-consequence-for-bad-behavior" do not hold. A loving couple learns that their child is terminally ill, "what did we do to deserve this? they wonder to themselves? A pastor's wife who is dedicated to her husband, family and church learns that her husband is having an affair with a younger lady, and she wonders, "where did I go wrong?" A family loses a child to a drunk driver; does this mean that the child or family was paying a price for some "secret sin" that was never confessed?

I remember watching one of those investigative news pieces about this Christian family that was devastated about the murder of their precious daughter. She was on her way to see her boyfriend and called her boyfriend up to see if he wanted anything from the store. He said he wanted a snack and she stopped at a nearby gas station to get him something; when she got there, there was a man who had been harassing customers asking for a ride home. Apparently she may have agreed to give the man a ride, but she was later found dead and burned in the bushes near a corporate building. The man had raped her, killed her and then burned her body and disposed of it. To the "you-always-reap-what-you-sow" mind, this would simply be a case of , well, maybe their family was cursed or something. But this was a Christian family, their daughter was also a devoted follower of Jesus, so why did this have to happen to them? The fact of the matter is that in life, there will be instances where you will come to the conclusion that life simply is not always fair, because no amount of rationalization will help you explain these scenarios.

Jesus made this clear in John 9: 1-3 that suffering or unpleasant circumstances are not always a result of sin:

"As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. “Rabbi,” his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?” “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him. "

When Jesus' disciples saw the man who was blind, their automatic assumption was "who sinned to cause this man's blindness?" But Jesus quickly dispelled this notion by saying that the man's lack of sight had nothing to do with sin. Similarly, when you read the book of Job, if you had no idea what precedes Job's suffering in the spiritual realm (something of a bet between God and Satan), then you may think that Job was paying a huge price for some spiritual flaw or serious sin in his life, at least this is what his "friends" thought and they spent most of the book scolding Job and trying to nudge him to confess his flaws.

Jesus set himself up as a friend to the friendless, hope for the hopeless, help for the helpless, and comfort to the afflicted. His message disturbed the status-quo mainly because he went against conventional thinking. When suffering does not make sense, getting into endless theological debates to try and answer the question "why" does nothing to help the afflicted. What does help is being there for the soul or souls who need help, just as we have seen a tremendous outpouring of compassion and love to the Haitian community.

When questioning why God has often allowed so much pain in my life, especially of the emotional kind, I eventually started to realize that I am not alone in that regard and that there are so many hurting people out there, many hiding behind well worn-masks. So instead of wondering why I don't have "the answer" to the problem of senseless pain, I can use whatever gifts I have and lessons learned along the way to bring some measure of hope to those who have all but thrown in the towel, a feeling I am all to familiar with....

I hope the attached song inspires you like it did me when I first heard it. It was produced by Kirk Franklin for the Haitian community...

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2010-01-20T07:44:00.000-08:00

Shame's antidote ~ Grace

"....there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" Romans 8:1 (NIV)

Living in a world that places so much emphasis on performance and outside appearance, it is easy to be caught up in a web of shame. We all to certain degrees struggle with elements of shame, whether it be because of a mistake in the past, or some besetting problem in the present. I sometimes think of the pressure that so many women are under; to have the right hairdo, to have the right clothes, to look like the airbrushed models on magazine covers, and let's not even get into the issue of weight, which is a national obsession here in the U.S., especially considering the constant battle of the bulge.

Shame deals with a feeling of not being good enough, it cuts right into the very essence of one's identity. A person struggling with shame can have it all on the outside, but be totally broken on the inside, because for someone who is ashamed, there are never enough compliments or trappings of "success" to fill the empty void. I am huge tennis fan, and am currently reading tennis legend Andre Agassi's moving autobiography, "Open", a truly excellent read. What has amazed me the most so far is seeing how the public image of the man that I had was nothing like what he was truly like. He was deemed a showboat and renegade back in the day because of his flamboyant style and unconventional attire, but deep down inside, he was struggling with his own insecurities, his disdain for the sport that made him famous and wealthy, and issues with his father, who forced him to play the game because he always dreamed that one of his kids would be a tennis great, and since none of Andre's siblings got the job done, Andre was the last and final hope. One of the reasons why I love autobiographies so much is because they show that regardless of how successful you think a person is, there are almost always issues that people struggle with behind the scenes.

What or who determines who we are? What determines our identity? Is it our jobs? Then what happens if you are laid off in a down economy? Is it looks? Then what happens if you start to lose your physical appeal due to age or other reasons? Is it love from family members or friends? Then what happens if your family is torn apart by scandal or other drama, like divorce? Is it your religious "purity"? Then what happens when you realize that you still fall short of the Biblical standard the you espouse to follow? Is it the fickle approval of others? Then what happens when people realize that you are not the superman or superwoman that they thought you were and are really flawed? Is it a financial portfolio? Then what happens if you lose it all in bad investments of embezzlement schemes, e.g the Bernie Madoff scandal?

Author Steve McVey makes an interesting observation in his book, "Grace Walk":

"When one feels like a failure, especially in a culture that places so much importance on success, there is a dull pain that can't fully be described......American culture demands that we be successful. People often measure our significance by what we have accomplished. From the time our parents applauded our first steps, we have been conditioned to seek approval and acceptance from others by what we do. That fact puts unbelievable pressure on us to succeed."

The point that I am getting at is that most of the parameters that we use to determine our identity can be taken away from us within a flash, and this leaves for a very insecure soul. I must be honest that there are several areas in my life where I struggle with shame, and this could explain why I have never been married. Being a man, we are usually not given the freedom to be transparent about our problems or issues, so we often resort to self-destructive outlets to vent.

Only a spiritually sound identity rooted in the unfailing love of another can really give us any lasting peace. This is the essence of the Gospel, the Good News, a fact that I think we often forget in our quest for theological "depth". We can only get some measure of lasting peace if there is a solid foundation, such as the notion that our spiritual identity is secure in who we are in Jesus, because His love does not waver like the emotional roller coaster that life sometimes is.

May your soul be healed from any areas where you struggle with shame!!

To my friends at the No Shame Theater in Columbus, GA. Keep doing what you do!!

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2010-01-13T14:27:00.000-08:00

Race - the impossible conversation!

“All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

It seems that the only time we even attempt to have a conversation about race in America is when we are reacting to the insensitive comments made by a celebrity or politician. The latest episode involves Senate Majority leader Harry Reid, who is reported to have said during the presidential campaign that he felt that then-senator Obama cold win the presidency because he (Obama) is “light-skinned” and “with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.” This is according to a recently published book, entitled “Game Change” written by John Heilemann and Mark Halperin. As soon as Senator Reid’s quote was made public, the political analysts were all over TV dissecting his words and debating whether he should step down from his position as senate majority leader. With all the black commentators that were on the cable news shows on Monday night, you would have thought that we were in the middle of black history month or something.

This is becoming really redundant. It usually goes something like this: A high profile individual makes a racially inappropriate comment; the media jumps all over the story; an apology is made by the perpetrator, usually after activists call for that person to step down from their position or to be fired; and then we have this inauthentic and pseudo-conversation about race that is really nothing substantive. Let’s be honest, even with president Obama being in office, we are not in a post-racial America. Considering the fallibility of humanity, I often wonder if we will ever get to that place, or if we can just hope to keep racism down to an acceptable low level. Yes, Obama’s election does show that we have come a long way from the turbulent 60s, after all, many non-blacks voted for him. According to the exit polls, 43% of non-Latino whites voted for Obama, (source: http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/results/polls/#USP00p1) The real question, however, is how can we ever say that we are in a post-racial America when we cannot even have an honest conversation about race that is not stifled by political correctness? Everyone is so scared of the repercussions of being called that big “R” word (Racist) that in the end we lie to ourselves and to each other in public instead of being polite and loving, but honest.

The funny thing about Senator Reid’s comment is that it is a widely held assumption in the black community that light-skinned articulate black people are generally more acceptable to white America, for whatever reason (some would argue that it is because they seem less threatening). Ask any middle-aged-or-older black person about the “brown paper-bag test’ that was common in black households back in the day and you will hear some interesting stories. Retired General Colin Powell himself once attributed his success partly to the fact that "I speak reasonably well, like a white person" and "[I] aren't that black."(Source: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/localnews/columnists/jragland/stories/DN-ragland_13met.ART.State.Edition1.4bf6122.html). So what Senator Reid said was not anything that many black Americans have not thought of or said amongst themselves before. You go back to the black vs. white doll test that was used in the 1950s to help bring about school integration, and you will see that one of the most the saddest legacies of white supremacy is the psychological damage that it did to blacks in making them see all things white (or close to white) as pure, and anything black as evil or bad. (I have attached a reenactment of that test that was done in recent years at the end of this essay). Just look at our language, blackmail, black market, black magic, black-widow, blacklist…etc These are all negative terms. This is why I believe that whether you support president Obama or not, it is a great thing to see a black family in the White House; Seeing a brown-skineed lady as elegant and beautiful as Michele Obama as first lady is a huge boost to young black girls, who have for too long seen mostly white images of beauty on mainstream magazine covers and cartoons. And it is a message to young black boys also that there is a future out there other than being an entertainer or sports star. Kudos also to Walt Disney for finally releasing a movie, "The Princess & The Frog", depicting a black girl as a princess.

Coming back to the United States in 1994 after graduating from college and spending my formative years in Europe and Africa, I had a fairy-tale image of what race relations were really like in the country. I thought America had, for the most part, gotten over all of her racial hang-ups of the past. Ironically, I came back in the middle of the most salacious trial of all time, the O.J. Simpson murder trial and I quickly learned that generally speaking, people saw the nation through different racial lenses. I could not understand why even in on Sunday mornings during worship (a time that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once called the most segregated hour in America) we generally worshipped with people who looked more like us. Why were churches still generally voluntarily segregated by race, White, Black, Asian, Latino etc? I realize that in a free society, people should be free to worship with whomever they want to, if they choose to worship at all, but I think what ends up happening when we rarely spend time with one another outside of avenues where we almost have to (work, school, business etc) is that we barely get to know one another, and this continues to feed the lack-of-conversation and the stereotypes that we hold about one another. I have realized in the 15 years that I have been back to the U.S. that the real struggle that many black people face is overcoming the psychological scars of white-supremacy; a good example would be when you hear young black kids saying that to be smart is to be acting “white”. When did being dumb become a glorified thing??! I have grown up in cultures where I was the one of the only blacks in class (when in Europe) and in classes where almost everyone looked like me (in Africa), and I never bought into any of these negative stereotypes when I lived overseas, maybe because I was not exposed to them. I credit my parents and also my mentors and teachers.

Are differences in choice such as music or culture a matter of preference or racial bias? Are differences in political ideology a matter of opinion or right vs. wrong? Generally, when you see the talking heads on TV discussing these issues, whenever they are attempting to have the “race-talk”, it is more or less a screaming match, “my side is right, your side is wrong!” At the end of the day, no consensus is met, no compassion is fostered and we get the general impression that maybe we are so different that we will never see eye-to-eye on certain issues. I have realized, however, that when you get people away from the “mob” and talk to them one-on-one, you will inevitably realize that many of the supposed differences that the media (whether left wing or right wing) love to harp on are more manufactured than real.

You always hear political pundits and leaders talking about “we need to have a conversation about race”, but when people are scared that their honesty is going to be perceived the wrong way, and when there is too much to lose in being honest (after all being perceived as racist is an instant career-killer), you can rest assured that it will be practically impossible to have that conversation. I believe that having the conversation in smaller pockets outside of professional forums, with friends of different racial backgrounds or cultures is actually more productive, especially if they know you well enough to know that you are not attempting to denigrate them or hurt their feelings.

The Bible states, “From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth.” (Acts 17:26) but it is very easy to forget the fact this fact when we buy into the illusion that we are more different than alike. Around this time of the year, we celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and the work that he did to bridge the racial divide between us. We can continue his amazing work, God’s work, by choosing to embrace the message of Grace in our dialogue with people who are “different” than us; God’s grace is the great equalizer, because when we truly embrace its message, we realize that our silly self-righteous games do not negate the fact that we are an interdependent people, regardless of how different we may seem.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to the people in Haiti after that devastating 7.0 earthquake!

Stephen O. Akinduro

2009-12-30T08:44:00.001-08:00

What's so Amazing about Grace?

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." Acts 20:24 (NIV)

We have just through celebrating Christmas, and some may be feeling the post holiday blues, especially considering how much you may have spent to buy gifts and enjoy the holidays.

I remember when I was a kid always fantasizing about the Christmas holidays, anticipating whether Santa would come through for me. If I suspected that I had been a lil' naughty that year, I did whatever I could to make up for it, stepping up my "nice" quotient in the weeks leading to the holidays to make sure that Santa would get me the gifts that I wanted. If being a good kid was a requirement for getting those gifts, you could always count on me being a good and obedient son around that time of the year.

I think of the parallels between our "naughty" or "nice" hypothesis about Christmas and how we as Christians tend to think that God's blessings are earned based on obedience. We struggle with the concept of grace because right from the time we are lil' kids anticipating Santa's visit, we have bought into the illusion that all good gifts are earned from our performance, and this theory is in effect in practically all facets of our lives, from school to work. Kids (and adults) are rewarded with gifts if they are nice and have not been naughty, likewise, heaven & the blessings that we get in life are seen as a reward for a life of obedience.

Take the predicament that famed golfer Tiger Woods is going through right now. Before his sexual indiscretions were made public, he was not only hailed as one of the most celebrated if not best golfer ever, but seen as a model citizen that stood tall as a role model for our youth. But within weeks of his thanksgiving day accident, his approval rating plummeted, and is now below 50%. The media has had a field day analyzing the depths of his "naughtiness". Tiger's wife, Elin, needs healing and comfort. Tiger himself needs grace. As long as you are a top performer with an image that appears squeaky clean, we think that you "deserve" to get blessings. As soon as flaws are revealed, the condemnation begins. This is how the Law (from a Biblical perspective) works. I refuse to make rash judgements about Tiger, not because I necessarily approve of what he did, but because I know how devastated if my own dirty laundry was made public like that. We all have our own individual"thorns" or things that we struggle with.

Grace is often hard to grasp because of some of the conflicting "Christian" messages we are often given:

1) As non-believers, we are told to come to Jesus "just as we are". We are told that there is nothing that we can "do" to make God save us, nothing that we can do to make our lives better without God's strength; we are told that being God's child and His deliverance are all gifts that cannot be earned, because we are all fallible. But the minute we say "yes" to Jesus by faith, we are told something totally different and given a list of dos and don'ts that must be maintained to earn God's blessings.

2) We say that God has paid the full price for our sins on the cross through the sacrifice of Jesus, but then we tell believers that if they don't live a Holy Life (the standard which varies from church to church) they could be hell bound...

3) We use Biblical Law as a guilt trip to try and get people to obey the Bible, totally ignoring the fact that The Law can only do one thing, what it does best - and that is condemn people. Romans 4:15 (NIV) puts it this way, "because law brings wrath. And where there is no law there is no transgression."

We can't have it both ways as Christians. Either we stick to the law 100%, (a literal impossibility), or we humbly accept the message of God's grace, and pass this kind of love on to each other. Grace basically says that "there is nothing that we can do to make God love us anymore, and nothing that we can do to make God love us any less" (A phrase that I first read in Philip Yancey's amazing book, "what's so amazing about Grace?") If we truly accepted this messsage we would stop putting ourselves on performance scales and grading each other on a hierarchical scale with which we use to make rash and often improper judgments about each other.

I hope and pray that the beauty of God's grace will be a reality in your heart in the 2010 and in the new decade.

Love to you and your family!!
Stephen Oladotun Akinduro
706-563-6012

2009-12-04T12:52:00.001-08:00

~ Connecting ~

The Christmas and New Year Holidays are right around the corner. There will be celebrations, parties, gifts and the like, many of us having a Merry time as we celebrate the birth of our savior, Jesus, and the coming of a new year (and decade). For others, however, the holidays can often be a difficult time. For those who may have recently lost a loved one, a spouse, lover, best friend etc, the holidays can often be a reminder of what was lost and lead to a state of emotional despair. Take that into account and the fact that in tough economic times, it is often tough for those who are struggling financially to see the joy in an otherwise festive occasion. Yes, it is a cliche, but in many ways we have truly forgotten the reason for the season. Gifts and all that good stuff are nice, but people should not be led to feel guilty when they cannot afford lavish Christmas shopping or the latest item that "must" be under the tree.

Ultimately, Christmas should be an avid reminder of the only real debt that we owe to one another, and that is love. We love as we connect with others, emotionally and spiritually. Recent surveys have shown that in an increasingly individualistic society, loneliness is becoming a rampant problem, especially here in America. True, we may have more ways than ever to connect with our friends and loved ones - e-mail, cell phone, text, Skype etc - and there is an endless display of technological devices that we can use to stay connected from IPhones to Blackberrys, not to mention the numerous social networking sites through which we can meet new "friends". But just because you supposedly have hundreds of friends on Facebook, does not mean that those people really know you. Many of us have lots of acquaintances, but in times or turmoil, you get to find out who your true friends are. Can you really count on at least one of them in your darkest hour? Can you say that you have at least one person in your life that knows you well enough that you feel comfortable sharing your deepest fears and worries with? We all need a safe place where we can be ourselves without the false pretenses and masks that we often wear just to make that money and survive in an ever competitive global economy.

It is my hope and prayer that as we celebrate this Christmas, whether in grand fashion or in low key style, we may all find ways to really connect with others, especially those that mean a lot to us...

Merry Christmas and a Happy and prosperous 2010!!

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2009-11-20T12:20:00.000-08:00

Religion vs. Spirituality

“Spirituality focuses on authenticity and honesty. Religion tends to emphasize perfection and holiness. In fact, so great is the pressure to be progressing (in religion) that people often lie to each other and even themselves about their religious experience and where they really are in their lives.” ~ A Heretic Guide to Eternity, by Spencer Burke.

I was recently talking to a good friend about the difference between spirituality and religion. Although the terms are often used interchangeably, they are really not the same. This is evident in the fact that more and more people are using phrases like “I am spiritual, but not religious.” I used to be a very religious person, but I decided to lose my religion. Please don't get that confused with losing my faith, I am not an atheist, my faith in Jesus is as strong as ever, if not stronger, but I can empathize with many people who call themselves atheists or agnostics. But let me try and explain what I mean:

When I use the term “religious” I mean I believed the illusion that "a person is accepted by God and is blessed by God in the same proportion as that person’s performance in regard to certain laws, doctrines or rules." At the peak of my "religious" mode, I made up in my mind that I was going to do all I could do to show God that I loved him, make it to heaven and along the way assumed that my efforts were going to compel Him to make Him bless me. For me, that meant doing my best to show that I was not some lukewarm slacker who just talked about his faith. I started by decided that my baptism when I was an Anglican was not sufficient since most other Protestant denominations, especially Baptists, say that you must be baptized by immersion, so I got baptized again. I even went through another baptism, commonly called the "baptism of the Holy Spirit" by Pentecostal denominations, so that I could receive the gift of speaking in tongues. I decided it was time to refrain from all things secular, from the music, to the movies, to sex. Anything that did not have a Gospel of Jesus theme message to it was sinful. No drinking either (forget the fact that Jesus turned water to wine at a wedding). I was on my way. I even had a stint there where I thought that maybe God was calling me to be a professional minister. I studied my Bible like my life depended on it, and I did my best to obey its commands. I could smell sin ten miles away, whether it was in people's conduct, their clothing, their hair style or tattoos, or their demeanor or foul language (how dare they use God's name in vain?) I must admit that I was becoming a nuisance to hang out with, but you think I cared? If these "heathens" were going to hell will gasoline-britches on, I sure did not want to go with them.

Then something happened. No, I did not just wake up one day and become as passionate about the message of God's grace as I am today by happenstance. My internal misery and my sinful addictions (yes, there were parts of me where I really struggled) compelled me to take a hard look in the mirror, at my soul, at my life and at my conduct and motives and realize that I was living a lie. I was the epitome of self-righteousness , self-righteousness being the belief that I am more acceptable to God because I obey him more than others, when in reality, I had just as much sin in my life as the worst heathens alive, remember the whole “we all fall short” verse? I realized that I was not being honest with myself about my own fallibility. On the outside I might have looked fine, but my insides were filled with impure thoughts and motives, things like "pride", "lust", "bitterness", "unforgiveness" (even though I tried to justify my bitterness; "they hurt me God, you understand")..just to name a few. Who was I really fooling? Did I really think that my religious performance made me more acceptable to God, when He could see clearly through my smoke-screens? My close friends and family were not fooled by my self-righteous robes, so what made me think that God was? It was at that point that I realized that I more resembled the religious Pharisees, whom Jesus often criticized for their hypocrisy and lack of compassion.

This is where the difference between spirituality and religion comes in:

1) Religion is primarily focused on performance and externals, while spirituality deals with authenticity. Religion tends to embrace self-righteousness because the "top performers" are naturally going to look down on those who they don't think are pulling their weight. Spirituality accepts the fact that we all err and have baggage and this leads us to having empathy for other "broken and imperfect vessels."

2) Religion tends to be very dogmatic and is always worried about if you have the right doctrine, whereas spirituality realizes that as Jesus said, "the world will know you are mine if you have love for one another (John 13:35)". All the religion in the world means nothing without love.

3) Religion tends to promote acts of self-deception because everyone is trying to prove that their life is sin-free or “less sinful” that others, and in the process refuse to admit the severity of their brokenness. How many times have we heard a “testimony” where someone says something like “before I came to Christ, I used to drink, smoke, cuss, have illicit sex etc. But ever since the day I have my life to Christ, I have not done any of these things. Praise God!” Usually, and there are exceptions, these kinds of testimonies are self-righteous testimonies, because the proof of one’s love for God should not be based on what you do or don’t do, but on how you treat others. Spirituality sees no shame in brokenness or the continuous struggle that is sanctification, especially realizing that God often uses broken and humbled vessels to show His love and compassion and love to others. Take for instance the fact that recent stats show that about 50% of American Christian men struggle with an addiction to online porn. religion simply says, "stop doing that", but spirituality frees you to accept the fact that you have a problem, be honest about it, and address the underlying issues that are fueling the addiction.

4) Religion assumes that the top performers always get the biggest blessing. but spirituality knows that life and blessings do not necessarily operate on a linear scale. Sometimes the best of us get hit with unfortunate circumstances, and it is NOT always because the person is living some blatantly sinful lifestyle. Life has a way of keeping us humble. I remember hearing evangelist and author Paula White say recently that she could not understand why her marriage failed when she did not “smoke, cuss, drink, have sex outside marriage” etc. This is religious thinking, the belief that one’s ability to keep certain laws mandates God to bless you. And this leads many people going through hard times to question, what “law” they must have disobeyed to allow God to curse them. Yes, actions have consequences, but not all of life’s events can be mapped out into neat little formulas (if I do this, God will do that). Blessings are all products of God’s grace.

The bottom line is that religion stifles God's love while spirituality frees it. To be religious is to assume that God accepts you because you "do this" and "don't do that", but to be spiritual means that you realize that you are a product of God's grace through Jesus and that there is nothing that you can do to make Him love you anymore, nothing that you can do to make him love you any less. This is a freeing fact that enables honesty and compassion to flood the soul.

Stephen O. Akinduro

706-563-6012

2009-11-12T13:36:00.000-08:00

Spirituality for the rest of us:

How does one judge the vitality of a country? By the Gross Domestic Product (GDP)? By The number of millionaires or billionaires that exist in the nation? Or is there some other avenue by which one can determine how healthy a society really. One of the things that has always fascinated me about Jesus is that his way of doing things always seemed to go against the grain, yes, even against the grain of religious teachings. He infuriated religious leaders because he loved the unlovable and saw through the masks that people wore to hide their brokenness and flaws. And when he gave the story of the sheep & goats in Matthew 25, he basically turned our way of doing things upside down. Our societal norms usually demand that we reward and praise the top performers and V.I.Ps' of our time, while simultaneously loathing or being apathetic towards the disenfranchised in society, Jesus said that doing for the "least of these in society" was the equivalent of doing for him and basically implied that he can monitor the spiritual health of a nation by how it treats the forgotten ones. Here are his own words from "The Message"

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why: I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room, I was shivering and you gave me clothes, I was sick and you stopped to visit, I was in prison and you came to me.'

"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored (the least of these), that was me—you did it to me.' (Matthew 25:34-40)

Who are the least of these in today's society? There is no shortage of people who are hungry, yes, even here in the wealthiest nation that the world has ever known. One of the most humbling sights I have seen on TV recently was showing how in this economic recession, even some people who were once considered to be middle-class have had to resort to going to food banks to get enough food for their families. Things that people once took for granted such as eating out, have now become a luxury for many, something that has always been a luxury for the chronically poor; there is definitely not a shortage of the homeless, many who are afflicted with mental disorders that only worsen their state of living; and the United States has more prisoners than any other developed nation in the world. And while we may argue that these people, the "least of them" as they are put in this story, don't deserve to be loved, because they made their bed, now they must sleep in it as it and face the consequences, this is not the point of the story. Jesus is making it inherently clear that when it comes to love, the issue is not whether the person you are loving deserves to be loved, the issue is whether you are going to love them. Love that is earned is not love, but simply a reward for a job well done. We are all in need of grace, forgiveness and compassion, and it is the realization of this need that should fuel our love for others. Religion says, "you get your act together first and tote the line, then I will love you", Jesus says, "you've got it all wrong, love reaches out to the hopeless, the destitute, the forgotten.' Who are the forgotten today? Who are the black sheep of today? I will let you answer that question because I know you know some, there may even be a black sheep in your family who has been totally cut off by other members because of their actions.

I think the world is really tired of religious rhetoric, maybe that is why even in the United States, for the first time in any generation the percentage of people who call themselves non-religious is now in double digits, percentage wise. People see through the smoke when religious practices are simply about who can adhere to the rules or doctrines of your particular sect. What the world really needs is a mass flow of love from people to people. Less talk about how "saved" and "sanctified" people are, and more action. If your religious experience is simply a safe haven to further your own comfort zone, then it is a misguided ethos. If the love that we say we have for others is an exclusionary love that only accepts others if they adhere to your brand of faith, then re-examine what you call love. Jesus identifies with the "least of these in society". The question is do we?

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro
Columbus GA
706-563-6012

2009-10-30T10:27:00.000-07:00

Debunking the Myths about Mental Illness

I have recently been doing some volunteer work for the local chapter of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), helping out with the CIT (Crisis Intervention Team), Training course; a course that is designed to educate law enforcement officers, 911-dispatchers and other professionals about how to effectively deal with persons who struggle with a mental disorder, the goal being to get consumers into treatment and not have them unnecessarily incarcerated.

If there is one thing that I have learned from participating in these classes, it is that there is a lot of ignorance when it comes to what exactly it means to struggle with a mental illness. Too often, when you hear the words "mental illness", we think of people who are looking for a crutch to excuse bad behavior, or we think of people who are morally weak and simply just won't "get their act together." Words like "crazy", "lunatic", "retard" etc are thrown out carelessly to describe real people with real medical symptoms. Science has shown that these improper assumptions are not only wrong, but they feed into the stigma that prevents people with these type of disorders from getting the kind of help that they need, and subsequently is the reason why generally speaking, people with a mental illness have a life expectancy significantly shorter than the rest of the population. I will never forget looking at my doctor with a sense of sheer disbelief and horrow several years ago when he suggested a few years ago that I might need to go on an anti-depressant. I kept thinking to myself, "what is he trying to say? That I am not strong enough to handle my own life?"

I was recently reminded of the importance of awareness of the plight of people who struggle with a mental illness after hearing this past week of a friend and former colleague who tried to take his own life in a very gruesome way. Fortunately, he did survive, but has needed intensive care since the incident. He had been suffering in silence through some very turbulent emotional issues and he saw death as the only way out. I wondered to myself, "had he not done this, would we even be cognisant of his pain and sorrow?"

If you go to the NAMI website, you will find this definition and quote about mental illness:

"Mental illnesses are medical conditions that disrupt a person's thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others and daily functioning. Just as diabetes is a disorder of the pancreas, mental illnesses are medical conditions that often result in a diminished capacity for coping with the ordinary demands of life. Serious mental illnesses include major depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), panic disorder, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and borderline personality disorder. The good news about mental illness is that recovery is possible."

I used to be one of those skeptics that thought that such definitions and claims by people supposedly struggling in this arena were not only bogus, but based on pseudo-science that was aimed to cause people to see themselves as victims. That was until I had to face my own struggles, and also when I objectively looked at the scientific evidence for what it is. Technology is so advanced that we can actually see, for instance, the changes that the brain goes through when a person is chronically addicted to a substance.

Here are some of the myths that must be dispelled if people who struggle with a mental disorder are going to get the help that they need:

Mental Illnesses are nothing more than signs of character flaws or signs moral failure. This could not be further from the truth. The fact is that most people who struggle with a mental disorder are acutely aware of their own moral ineptitude, but know that they do not have the power within themselves to overcome in areas where they struggle.
Willpower alone is enough to overcome a mental illness. This is as ludicrous as telling a person with diabetes to "will" their sugar levels back to normal.
People who struggle with a mental illness are simply looking for a crutch, so as not to work or to take advantage of the system. This is another unfortunate but common assumption that is really related to statement #1 above. The fact, however, is that many people who struggle with a mental illness who have a hard time holding down a steady job are in the catch-22 predicament that often arises when you are unemployed, an unemployed person does not have access to steady health care, and if you don't have access to adequate health care, you often cannot get the treatment that you need, this ends up feeding into the domino effect that spirals out of control in the person's life, making it hard for the person to be steady enough to get the job in the first place and be steady it in. We put the cart before the horse when we think that if they just go out there and "live life" like others, everything would be alright. Mental health treatment must preceed and accompany living life.
People who struggle with a mental illness are "crazy" and liable to just go off on you at any moment for no reason: This is another popular assumption, usually fueled by the stereotypes of people we see on TV or in the movies. But it is not based in reality or truth.

The bottom line is that there is very little awareness when it comes to issues of people who have a mental illness. Yes, this is changing, but change often takes time, and it is usually only when a family has become personally affected by the plight of mental illness that they seem to "get it". We all know someone that has struggled or is struggling with a mental illness, the question is, "do they know it and are they getting the help that they need!" Hopefully, with more and more people having the courage to tell their stories of healing and survival, we will enable more and more people to be less shamed of getting the help that they need.

Stephen O. Akinduro

2009-10-19T14:19:00.000-07:00

Grace and Politics

Is there room for "God's grace" in politics? I wondered about this a few days ago after getting into a spirited debate about politics with a good friend of mine. He happens to be a die hard Republican, who has no real liking (putting it mildly) for president Obama, and sees fault with practically everything that the current president is doing; I, on the other hand, happen to be a person who voted for Obama, and believe he should at least be given a chance to lead. This is not to say that I agree with everything that the current administration is trying to do, but I understand their sentiment and believe that he (Obama) means well and loves the country no less than those on the opposite end of the political spectrum. He inherited a tough set of challenges and it is going to take a lot of work for him to succeed. Unfortunately, we live in an age of little or no patience, and when people don't see results yesterday, they pile on the blame and ridicule..

But this blog entry is not about political theory or whether you call yourself conservative, liberal, independent or are totally indifferent when it comes to political matters. What really concerns me is the vicious and vindictive tone that our political dialogue has taken. To be fair, when president George W. Bush was in office, he was catching hell from his critics on the Left, especially over the war in Iraq, and it seems like the Right could not wait to pounce on Obama once he won the presidential election last fall. This is, after all, how politics works, you demonize your opponents until they can't take it anymore or until the public gets the impression that your side is always right and their side is always wrong. You ignore the fact that healthy political debate is actually a good thing, realizing that all side do have something good to the table. As a person who believes the message of God's grace, I realize that no label can accurately describe a person, even in the political arena. We are all people of some paradox, there is some liberal in the most conservative of us, and some conservative in the most liberal of us.

The talking points in politics would have us believe that:

Liberals are people who hate America; they're socialists or communists, abortion-loving heathens, who find fault with everything that America does; their agenda is to take God away from the public discourse and take away guns from even licensed gun carriers. Liberals have no moral compass and simply want to change the constitution to fit their moral lasciviousness.
Conservatives are war mongering, fascists, self-righteous capitalists, who have no compassion for the poor and favor big corporations and the rich more than the every day working American; they are racists who hate immigrants and other minority groups and have no bigger goal than to preserve the status-quo (meaning, protect the interest of white males).

Of course, we know that these Labels do not fit everyone, and they are gross exaggerations that do not often reflect reality, but because perception is often people's reality, many of these stereotypes end up sticking. but if you really got to know the people who are demonized with these labels, you will realize that they are actually much more complex than these labels suggest. But because we live in such a politicized arena, it is almost impossible to have a substantive dialogue about anything political across the aisle without demonizing others. There are liberals in Red States and conservatives in Blue States, and you will find out that not all liberals agree, and not all conservatives agree. There are people on the "Left" who are very religious and there are people on the "Right" who don't believe in God. I can't tell you how shocked I was watching C-Span the other night when I found out last night that a rising star in the conservative movement, writer S.E. Cupp, is an atheist. Being a conservative and an atheist are two things that just don't go together amongst most conservatives, especially here in the South, (she live in N.Y. though), but that just goes to show that these labels just don't fit everyone, which goes to show why the fact that most African-American Democrats being staunch Christians is often under reported.

I am not writing this to criticize anyone's political views. I just want to emphasize that if we are to look at each other from the standpoint of "grace" and not "self-righteousness", then we would be less likely to demonize each other and more likely to have empathy and compassion for each other. One of the things that makes the Bible such a compelling piece of literature and inspiration is that even in the most admired of Bible characters, their flaws are glaringly obvious for us to see. I often say that most of the people whom we revere in the Bible, could never make it in today's political climate, because we are not kind to those whose fallibility is so obvious. Can you imagine someone like king David or Solomon considering running for office today? They would be run out of town, especially with their known sexual indiscretions obvious for the world to see.

Maybe it is time that we all embrace a little bit more humility when it comes to how we deal with each other, especially in our current contentious political arena.

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2009-10-08T11:17:00.000-07:00

L.O.V.E.

"if you judge people, you have no time to love them." ~ Mother Teresa

What does it mean to love someone? We use this word "love" so often, from the "love" that we express to our kids, parents, family members, or close friends, to the "love" or affection and romance that we express to a spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, or lover; love is such a popular word. Countless songs have been written about it, movies and plays made about it. Love is often called the very essence of life. It has been said that, "it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all." So it is fair to say that love is one of the great motivators of the human spirit.

We know that when we say that we "love" a family member, we are not necessarily talking about the same thing as when we say that we "love" our favorite entertainer, nor are we talking about the same "love" we have for our spouse. One can argue that love ranges on a scale starting from 'Eros" love, which is more of a kind of lust or desire, to "Agape" or unconditional love, which does not waver based on circumstances. For instance, I may say that I have "fallen in love with a young lady", what is often called "love at first sight", when the real issue is that I am very sexually attracted to her and this attraction clouds my thinking and causes me to say that I "love" her; maybe it should really called "lust at first sight." To be fair, I may come to love her unconditionally, but at that moment, my "love" for her is really based on an ulterior motive, which is a sexual attraction or an attraction based on some quality in her that I admire.

Ultimately, the real goal for all of us is to love unconditionally, or to have the kind of "Agape" love that God has for us. The kind of love implied in Romans 5:8, where it says, "but God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. " in 1 John 4:10, it says further, "This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins." The key issue in these verses is that God was not compelled to love us because of our promises of obedience or even futile attempts to obey Him. His love is what can be called a one-way love, a love that is not predicated on the actions of the person(s) loved. Too often, when we say that we "love" someone, we "love" with strings attached - basically implying, "I love you as long as you behave or act in the way that I like or consider appropriate".

There is a reason why the mother-child relationship is one of the most celebrated ones in our culture, because for the most part, the closest thing that most people experience to unconditional love is the love they get from a parent, usually the mother. This is not to say that there are not dads who don't love like this, but we all know that especially with the high rate of single parenthood in this nation, most children are raised by their mothers and they get their models of love from their mothers alone. Mothers these days carry a huge burden, from parenting, which is a full time job, to nurturing, to even being breadwinners, in many cases the primary breadwinner. To the child, the mother is not only often a model of love, but a sort of super being who does it all.

To love is to be able to look beyond what may be symptoms of a deeper problem - bad behavior, addiction, etc - and realize that a lot of times the habits that we dislike in other people are simply secondary issues to deeper problems. It is easy for me to ask why a person does drugs, is sexually promiscuous, has anger issues etc, but it is tougher for me to actually listen to them and see what has led them down that behavioral path. It does not mean that we justify or sanction bad behavior, but that we realize that our behavior is often symptomatic of deeper needs that are not being met. Too often, we are so busy making rash covert judgments about people, their clothing, their body art, tastes in music, their bad or inappropriate habits and so on, and in doing so, we spend very little time connecting with people and getting to know them and love them..

The essence of loving others stems from the realization that we are who we are as God's children not as a function of our performance for God, but as a result of his one-way love for us. We see glimpses of this love in our society, but for many people, these glimpses are few and far between, and whether we admit it or not, we are all in search of unconditional love, and we will go to great lengths to find it, even if what we find is just an mirage or pseudo form of this love. This is why kids will join a gang if they don't see healthy alternatives in their community, this is why a woman or man may become promiscuous, because they falsely equate sex with love. People will go to great lengths to try and find this love. Some erroneously believe that if they achieve great wealth and or fame they will be loved, only to realize that the "love" that they get is really contingent on their wealth and fame, and is not really unconditional. Sometimes, it takes them losing everything to find out that they had few, if any, real friends.

We are told that as Christians, our love for one another is what is supposed to set us apart. Not our stance on the moral issues. Not the extensive list of things that we do and don't do. But our love for one another. It is not finding this love that leaves many people disillusioned with religion, but to be fair, this love does exists in many spiritual circles. It is my prayer that this kind of love continues to be nurtured within you as it spreads to others around you.

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2009-09-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

The Problem with the current health care Debate:

For the past few months, we have been embroiled in a pretty contentious debate about health care in this country. We have been forced to address some really tough questions like, "Is affordable health care a right or a privilege?", "...if it is a right, how should it be provided to all those eligible for coverage?" The summer town hall meetings hosted by our elected officials brought out some very heated and contentious discussions, with passions running very high on both sides of the political aisle. On one side of the equation, you have the liberal point view, mandating some type of universal health care for all American citizens, preferably through a medicare type "single payer" system offered as a government option for all those who need it; on the conservative side of the aisle, however, are those that feel we have been Taxed Enough Already (T.E.A) and have been hosties nationwide "T.E.A parties" to protest what they feel is too much government involvement in our lives. There is a lot of anger in this regard especially considering that we are yet to see real results on the ground from the government bailout of the huge financial corporations, something that was done to supposedly prevent another great depression. The conservative movement feels that the best way to provide health care is let the free market do its thing and let open competition amongst health care providers take its course.

I think both sides of the political debate make very valid points, but personally, I don't think that any bill that congress passes, if any passes at all, will really address the real issue, the pink elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about; When you have a system where our health care is provided primarily by "for profit" health insurance companies, you will NEVER have a system where you can fundamentally address this issue of coverage for all. Why? Because these insurance companies are not primarily in the business of paying out medical claims to all that are sick, if they did that, they would go out of business. They're in business to make money, and you don't make money by providing health insurance for everyone. Yes, they would have a short term gain in profits if the government decided to buy policies for the millions who are currently uninsured, but what happens when these people need to have huge medical bills for very expensive procedures and pre-existing conditions paid off? Claims will start to be denied. There is a reason why health insurance companies prefer to provide coverage for healthier people; it prevents them from having to pay out on huge claims. They are beholden to their shareholders to make a profit.

I know people who have health insurance coverage and are still tens of thousands of dollars in debt because of huge deductibles on certain procedures (especially pre-existing conditions) or simple lack of coverage for those expenses. This is one of the reasons why medical bills is one of the leading causes of bankruptcy in this nation.

So the real question should be, "does every industry have to be a "for profit" industry when we have millions of people who are going into the red financially because of unpaid medical costs?" In the richest nation on the planet, where the top 1% own more wealth than the bottom 90% combined, is it unrealistic to believe that some kind of health care coverage for all will eventually pay for itself in productivity in the market? Why are we the only developed country in the world where there is not some kind of basic comprehensive universal health care for all who need it? I have lived in one of those so-called socialist nation's, (France), and don't believe all the stuff you see on TV, our news is highly politicized and opinionated and not all that you see on TV is based on all the facts, most of it is rooted in fear and propaganda to further a political cause.

Yes, we all should have a proactive stake in our own health, by eating healthy foods, exercising regulrly, and getting regular checkups, but God-forbid you find out that you have a terminal condition (like the woman being referred to in the question in the town hall meeting in the first video clip below) what do you do next? Or what if you just happen to have a pre-existing condition that you were born with that requires a lifetime of care? And this does not even cover issues like mental health and addiction, for which many people have to come out of pocket to get the best treatment because insurance companies won't cover the enormously huge costs of rehab. Not everyone has $30,000 or more disposable dollars to get that kind of treatment like celebrities do ...

If the spiritual fervor of a nation is based on how we treat the "least of these" in our society, then we have some tough questions to ask ourselves. Because there is no reason why people should be dying or going boke because of treatable diseases simply because they cannot afford health care in the richest and most prosperous nation on earth.

The first video below is an Op-Ed piece that addresses this very issue. The gist of what I wanted from there starts around the 1.40 mark of the video were he plays video from the town hall meeting where a lady asks a question about a family member of hers that recently lost her job and now has a tumor. The second video one is just a great "fun" video of this baby dancing to Beyonce's "single ladies". I thought it was so cute...lol

Have a wonderful weekend my friends!!

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

2009-09-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

HOW GOOD IS GOOD ENOUGH?

How good is good enough for God? How moral does one have to be to be acceptable to God and continue to receive His blessings? I ask this question because when you start talking about God’s grace, inevitably someone will bring up the fact that they feel that if you focus too much on God’s grace, you are giving people the license to sin or do as they please without fear of consequence, the ultimate being hell. But then this brings up an interesting question. Because if we all say that we agree that no one is perfect, and if we claim that even being “saved” or “born again” does not mean that we will not still have areas in our lives where we struggle, then the question remains, “how good is good enough?" I got into an online debate about this this past weekend with someone who said that for us to remain “acceptable to God” even after we “give our lives to Christ” we have to live holy lives. And while I agree that our desires change once we come to God and receive Jesus’ by faith, I often wonder, how holy is holy enough for God? How many impure thoughts does it take to disqualify us from God’s love? How many good deeds must be done to nullify any bad deeds or thoughts we have had in the past? How many improper deeds does it take to disqualify us from God's love? What if, unbeknownst to me, I do something wrong bad, or thought of something improper and have not confessed it before I die even though I am “saved”? Does that send me straight to hell?

I remember when I became a Christian in my mid-teens, and started voraciously reading the Bible, arrogantly thinking that I could actually accomplish the task of obeying every word that I read, I was shocked to realize that certain things that I had taken for granted were sins: doing the right thing with the wrong motive is just as bad as doing the wrong thing (Prov. 16:2), hatred and bitterness is the equivalent of murder in Gods eyes (1 John 3:15), lust is as bad as the actual physical act of adultery or fornication (Matthew 5:27-30), breaking just one rule in the Bible makes you as guilt as the compulsive sinner who has broken them all (James 2:10). What am I getting at? If your primary objective is to obey all the rules in the Bible, good luck, but I can assure you that you will drive yourself to near insanity, because unless you deceive yourself and cherry-pick the rules that fit your agenda or ideology, you are in for a very bumpy ride.
Think of all the differences that exist in the world of “Christendom” based on denominational differences. Some denominations believe there are two baptisms that are necessary, one the “water” baptism the other for the holy spirit, others believe in only one baptism (water) because they believe we receive the Holy Spirit automatically when we get saved; and when it comes to baptism, some denominations think it is near heresy if you are not immersed in the water, others think that sprinkling is okay; some denominations that speaking in tongues is the primary indicator of whether you have the holy spirit, others do not; some denominations believe that all alcohol must be prohibited, others believe Jesus drank real wine, albeit less potent, and so alcohol is okay in moderation; some denominations frown on all things secular, including the music, others believe you can use such media to deliver a spiritual message; some denominations frown on drinking anything with caffeine, including coffee, because it is technically a drug, others say such drinks are okay; some denominations say tithing should not be mandatory, because we are no longer “under the law", others say tithing is mandatory because it was done even before Moses went to Mt. Sinai. Do you see where I am going with this? Even in Christian circles, we can’t agree on which laws are the most important, because everyone cherry-picks from the Bible. Put ten theologians in a room and I am sure you will come up with significant differences in their theology.

The bottom line is that regardless of your philosophical or spiritual views, if keeping the law could have made us righteous-enough to be acceptable to God, then Jesus’ mission would have been meaningless. The more we accept this fact, the less we would look at each other through self-righteous lenses and more though the prism of love, because ultimately, that is what being a child of God is supposed to be about, seeing each other through the prisms of love and grace. Ultimately it is the lack of this kind of love that leaves many people disillusioned with organized religion.

“I do not treat the grace of God as meaningless. For if keeping the law could make us right with God, then there was no need for Christ to die.” Gal. 2:21

Stephen O. Akinduro

2009-09-03T09:57:00.000-07:00

DOES TIME HEAL ALL WOUNDS?

Majority of us have heard the expression, "time heals all wounds". But is this really true? Usually, when this statement is used, it is referring to some kind of misfortune or painful situation that a person has gone through, and the implication is that the emotional pain from the situation ceases with the passage of time. Nothing could be further from the truth. We know how ludicrous it would sound to tell a person with a serious physical ailment not to get treatment, so why do we think that the same does not apply when it comes to healing of emotional wounds?
If there is anything that I have learned from in my brief existence in life so far, it is that we all have a story to tell. Regardless of socio-economic status, everyone has a story to tell; everyone can recall some experience or hurt that is often kept hidden under a well crafted façade. Many times while I am at church, I find myself wondering what the story of the person sitting right next to me is. What sparked their spiritual journey? While the human soul and mind has tremendous capacity for resilience, it is also very fragile. Many of us are part of the walking wounded, carrying around with us issues and deep hurts that have never fully healed. It could have been the death of a loved one; betrayal by a family member or close friend; a bitter and contentious divorce; the loss of a job; a traumatic accident or event; physical or mental abuse...the list could go on and on. Whatever it is, however, if it is not dealt with appropriately, there can be negative effects on the quality of one's life later on. Inevitably, time on its own heals nothing. And if we take our issues and neatly sweep them under the rug, they will eventually surface again one way or another if not appropriately dealt with. The tribulations of life can teach us a lot, but they must be dealt with in order to live a fruitful life in the future. If we choose to hold on to the mantle of bitterness and disillusionment that often comes with these events, we may find ourselves crumbling in a prison of our own creation down the road.

I think that we men are often more guilt of “holding things in” than ladies are. As a man, I have often held on to the misguided clichés about a man being able to take everything in life in stride. You’ve heard the clichés rooted in male pride – real men don’t cry; real men have thick skin, real men are problem solvers, not whiners etc – and it has been a humbling experience for me to find myself in those situations where I had to swallow my pride and realize that I was stuck and needed help. For years, I thought that if I simply ignored the grief and sadness that I felt after my mother’s suicide when I was young, everything would be alright. So I ignored it, did not talk about it for decades, and even tried to convince myself that it did not really happen. After all, it was in the past, and what has happened has happened, and there is nothing we can do about it, so why fret over the past? But grieving and/or dealing with one’s pain is not a matter of dwelling on the past, it is simply a matter of being totally honest with oneself about one’s own emotional pain and vulnerability and not holding that pain inside. I don’t think that it is a coincidence that “hurting people often hurt other people”; people who have been abused and do not deal with the pain from that abuse tend to be perpetrators of that same abuse later on in life. R & B star Chris Brown has been honest in the past about how he witnessed domestic abuse growing up; so how ironic that even though he wanted to break that cycle of violence, he would find himself the perpetrator of that same kind of abuse against his ex-girlfriend Rihanna? Now, under court supervision and probation, he is forced to confront his issues with the help of counseling and other support systems. I wish him well and hope that he and Rihanna find the healing that they need.

“Time heals all wounds” is a very dangerous and erroneous cliché. Let us not buy into lies like these which imply that we can just “get over it” without help and support. My sense of compassion for others has come from being broken by my own tribulations and yet having received the love and compassion from others, strength that I needed to go on and pay it forward.

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2009-08-21T11:52:00.001-07:00

The Independence Myth

From the time we start to become self-reliant and conscious of the world around us, becoming independent seems to be the primary goal of our lives. We want to be able to say that we have "our own" stuff that we obtained from "our own" hard work in order to achieve a sense of accomplishment. This is indeed a noble goal, but I think one of the differences between western cultures and the rest of the world is that we place such a high premium on what we call "independence" that we fail to realize the degree to which we are all inter-dependent and need each other. I remember in the 90s when Hillary Clinton faced a lot of criticism for quoting the Nigerian Igbo proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child!", which was also the title of her book published in 1996. She was deemed a socialist who was on the precipice handing our kids over to the government. Even though I am not the biggest Hillary Clinton fan, I don't think that was what she was referring to. I believe she was trying to emphasize the fact that each one of us has a role in helping others develop amongst us. The notion that each one of us is totally (or should be) totally independent as an adult is a myth that fuels the doctrine of self-righteousness. Say for instance you are a college graduate who has earned a reputable degree and now are a working professional and doing well in your field, how did you get there? There were teachers and / or tutors who helped you from elementary school up through secondary school and college. There were persons who gave you your first big break in an internship or that entry level job where you learned the nuances and the practical issues of your profession. As a professional, I am sure there are countless people whom you rely on every day just to make sure that your work gets done the right way. Even if you are a "financially independent" mogul, you did not get there on your own. The notion of the "self-made" millionaire or billionaire is truly a myth. Yes, hard work and dedication goes a long way, but does not operate in a vacuum without many other factors being in play (for more.. on this subject, you can read Malcolm Gladwell's most recent New York Times bestseller "Outliers - the story of success")

When I look at the way we idolize independence and then look at the words of Jesus where he says "I am the vine you are the branches, apart from me you can do nothing", I tend to see a vast discrepancy. When I compare the way we view the "kingdom of God" today and the way the early church operated as described in Acts chapter 2 in the Bible, I see a huge difference..We tend to adore "self-reliance" but self-reliance is a myth that we perpetuate and one that God seems to abhor (".....but they are deeply guilty, for their own strength is their god" Habakkuk 1:11).

As long as I can give others the impression that I "made it" on my own without any help, I can absolve myself of any responsibility to help the least of these in our society and give myself the permission to look down on the downtrodden and those that struggle. I have always thought that this is one of the main reasons why many of us - yes, even professed Christians - struggle with the message of God's grace, because it seems to condone helping those or showing compassion to those who do not deserve it. But if we were to honestly take the Bible's definition of sin seriously, who amongst us is deserving, based on pure merit, of God's vast love and compassion? We are gifted to be a blessing to others, not to flaunt our gifts as false beacons of self-reliance or independence.

We say that we desire independence, but we all crave relationships, why else would there be an explosion of social networking sites like Twitter, Tagged, Facebook, Myspace and the like. We have an inherent need to connect and bond with others. No one wants to be alone, not matter how "successful' they are. Just ask the successful professional who has to go home to a beautiful albeit empty home every night craving the attention and embrace of another human being (bringing to mind the classic Luther Vandross song, "A house is not a home").

Independence is a myth, one that we should not perpetuate in these dire economic times. Should we all be held responsible for our own actions? Of course, but this does not mean that we are completely self-reliant without the need of others. To be such a person would make us callous human beings!!

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2009-07-31T11:54:00.000-07:00

God's Grace & a "post racial America"

With the recent events between the Cambridge police officer, Sergeant Crowley, and professor Gates of Harvard University, the media has been in an uproar about who was right and who was wrong. Professor Gates was arrested for disorderly conduct after his neighbor called 911 because she thought someone was breaking into his house. It turned out that he was trying to get into his back door after the front door was jammed. Gates was returning from a long trip from China and when the police office got there, it is alleged that he hurled insults at the officer, Mr. Crowley, alleging that he was only being harassed because he was black. Gates would be arrested, but eventually the charges were dropped and the case would probably have died down until a reporter asked president Obama about it at a presidential news conference, to which president Obama made an ill-advised comment about the cop acting stupidly. This added to the drama of this incident as the Cambridge police department rallied to the defense of their guy and one officer, Justin Barrett, even going a little too far in an e-mail calling using a racial slur to refer to professor Gates; Mr. Barrett was suspended from the police department for the comment.

All this drama this culminated in a sit down session at the White House yesterday with professor Gates, officer Crowley, vice president Biden and president Obama, all sitting in the South Lawn enjoying some alone time. What was discussed has remained confidential. The sit down meeting was at the suggestion of the president, realizing that he should have calibrated his words more carefully when commenting about the original incident that started all of this.

Some say that the election of President Obama is proof that we are in a post racial America and that we are at a point where we have finally gotten over our racial baggage. But anytime an incident like this happens, we are reminded once again that generally speaking, people of different races tend to see things through different lenses. I personally don't think that officer Crowley is racist and do believe that if cooler heads had prevailed, this issue would not have even made headline news. But two huge egos were in the room, and neither side was willing to back down. It ended up being a case of testicular fortitude. I learned a long time ago to never be disrespectful towards authority figures, especially the ones with guns, like cops.

We are told that this is a teachable moment and I hope that it is. Let us be honest, America has indeed come a very long way. Case in point, the city of Cambridge, where this happened, has a black female mayor. The state of Massachusetts has a black male governor, the country has a black president. This is not the same America that we used to be. But this does not mean that racial baggage does not exits. Blacks still trail whites in almost every indicator of socio-economic progress and their unemployment rate is almost double that of whites. We should have a debate as to why this is the case, a debate that goes beyond the talking points of the left and the right which try and make everything into a shouting match which imply it is either that the government can solve all problems (it can't), or that personal responsibility alone can solve all ills (it can't either)..

From a spiritual perspective, embracing the message of God's grace frees us to stop being so defensive and insulting in our dialogue, because we realize that even at our best, we all need the same love and compassion that God gives out freely. If we could start from this standpoint, it is easier to talk from a paradigm of compassion, instead of conflict; a paradigm of love, instead of fear and disdain. We all have our individual biases and the least that we can do is acknowledge them when they exist, maybe not publicly, but at least to ourselves; healing and maturity cannot occur otherwise. We can never dispel some of the harmful myths and stereotypes if we don't at least have the courage to engage in honest dialogue that is not trapped in the prison of political correctness. How many of us have true friends from other cultures, ethnic groups or "racial" categories? How many of us are daring enough to get outside of our comfort zones to at least converse with such persons?

Politics at its best is about service towards others, but at its worst is nothing but a game where one side is always trying to outdo the other side and win by proving that "my side is ALWAYS right and your side ALWAYS wrong!" This is very obvious especially if you listen to the political talking heads on TV or on the radio. But the truth is not always that black or white (no pun intended) though and we have to be willing to examine the nuances that make up every day life. But we can only do so if we are coming from a place where we have embraced the same love and forgiveness that has been extended to us from God and offer it to others.. If God's compassion and love know no boundaries, who are we to set limits?

Maybe we can learn more from one another in this "teachable moment", but it will take the courage to at least engage in non-judgmental dialogue with one another...

"If anyone boasts, "I love God," and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won't love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can't see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both. " 1 John 4:20-21 (The Message)

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2009-07-25T10:50:00.000-07:00

THE ART OF FORGIVENESS!!

"Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many." Hebrews 12:15 (NLT)

If you live long enough, someone, somewhere is going to hurt you. It is a fact of life that we are all, to various degrees, both perpetrators and victims of pain. The real question when this happens, however, is what do you do when you have been hurt? do you seek revenge, do you let the authorities or the 'law" handle it if it is a serious offense, and even if you do either of those things, do you eventually choose to forgive? Forgiveness is one of those things that is easy to talk about in spiritual circles until you are the one that has to do the forgiving. Let's face it, when we are hurt, our first instinct is to seek revenge, we use phrases like "Karma is a b%tch" and "what goes around comes around" or "revenge is a dish that is best served cold" because there is a part of us that secretly yearns for those who hurt us to get a taste of their own medicine. The irony about bitterness, however, is that it is like a poison that eats up the soul. Bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.

Too often we expect people to simply forgive, without realizing that forgiveness is not necessarily an easy process, and besides, asking someone who does not realize the degree to which they have been forgiven to forgive another is putting the cart before the horse and is an act of sheer futility.

I was reminded of this recently after reading a powerful true story, the book, "Picking Cotton" (by Jennifer Thompson-Canino & Ronald Cotton) about a black man, Ronald Cotton who was wrongfully convicted of raping a white woman, Jennifer Thompson, in 1985. I first saw their story in a recent episode of "60-Minutes". The story was basically about how an eye witness can falsely accuse someone of something they did not do because ones memory can easily be flawed when it comes to the way lineups are done in the criminal justice system. Jennifer Thompson was raped by a black man in 1984, while she was a college student. After the authorities asked her to identify her rapist and made a composite diagram of him, she identified Ronald Cotton as her rapist, even though he was completely innocent. But because he initially forgot where he was that night and because she was convinced he was the one who raped her based on her memory, he would be found guilty at his trial and sentenced for a crime that he did not commit. He was able to get a retrial while he was in prison, but after the retrial, he was found guilty of raping not one, but two women (it was believed that the rapist raped two women that night) and given life in prison..It was not until 11 years after his sentence, that DNA evidence found him not-guilty and he was exonerated of all the crimes against him, and the real rapist - a guy named Bobby Poole - finally confessed to raping both women (by that time, he was also already in prison for an unrelated incident, and he had been bragging to another inmate about how he got away with raping those women).

Forgiveness in action: This is where the story gets interesting. After Ronald Cotton is set free, he is given financial compensation by the State, and Jennifer Thompson is ridden with tremendous guilt about putting this man away for so long. At first she is terrified that he may try to harm her in revenge, but she is reassured that this is not the case. Ronald simply wants to move on with his life and start a family. They, Ronald & Jennifer, eventually meet and she tells him that even if she apologized every day for the rest of her life, she could not repay him for taking all those years away. He tells her that he has forgiven her and she experiences some of the healing grace that she not only needs to move on, but to forgive the real perpetrator of the crime. Finding forgiveness that she did not deserve from a person whom she once despised based on her flawed memory helps free her from the prison of bitterness that is eating away at her soul. It is truly an amazing story of forgiveness and redemption and the unlikely friendship that ensues between the two families after years of thinking that the "other side" was the enemy.

What I got from reading that story if that it is practically impossible to forgive until we realize how much we have been forgiven. I know I have done many things that I am not proud of in my life and I am humbled and grateful that God had forgiven me of such deeds. So who am I to hold bitterness against another? It does not mean that harmful actions do not hurt, it simply means that we extend the same compassion that has been shown to us to others. That is something that is sorely lacking in our dog-eat-dog world.

Stephen O. Akinduro

2009-07-02T12:05:00.000-07:00

Why are the most religious people often the most judgmental?

"Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!" ~ 2 Corinthians 10:12 (NLT)

"Morality as a badge of attainment breeds the deadliest state of mind - a delusion of absolute autonomy." ~ Ravi Zacharias, "The Lotus and the Cross".

I have often wondered why it seems like the more religious a person is, the more there is the tendency to be judgmental and the less the tendency to show compassion. I have not only seen this in the life of others, but also in my own life. It is often said that the thing that we battle with the most is what we tend to despise the most in others, and I know that "self-righteousness" is one of those things that I tend to struggle with - maybe that explains why I write so much about God's grace, because I am reminded every day by my own conscious how far I fall short and yet how much I am blessed.

And yet, what I have realized is that the most religious amongst us usually struggle with the concept of God's grace, because grace levels the playing field of fallibility. Grace says that you cannot fool God with the petty comparisons where you set yourself on a pedestal at the expense of someone else's struggles or sins. The common argument that I hear to justify this phenomenon (of self-righteousness) is that just because we are Christians does not mean we should not point out sin when we see it, after all God wants us to stay away from sin and live pure lives. My comeback to that statement would be this: if we say that we are sanctified (or made pure and acceptable to God) based on he the gracious sacrifice that Jesus paid for us, and if we say that apart from this gift of love, we are all in the same boat - sinners in need of a Savior - then how can we even have the audacity to even condemn others to hell for things that we are all capable of doing ourselves given similar circumstances?

It is a weird that the very people who often need the grace of God are often the last people thinking about going to church, mainly because they don't think they will find compassion or understanding there. To be fair, it would be wrong to generalize all "churches" or religious persons and say that they're all this way..This would be an unfair caricature. But it is fair to say that the main reason why being very religious tends to increase one sense of condemnation is because religion by its very definition places self on a moral pedestal at the expense of other people's flaws. In other words, as long as I base my righteousness on how much morally better I perceive myself to be compared to someone else, this condemnation madness continues. It is a trick that always works, as long as I can see enough fault in someone else that makes me look better, then I feel good about myself. Is it no wonder that we are fascinated with tabloid gossip and reality shows that highlight the drama in other people's lives? We salivate over the drama, and the more salacious the drama, the bigger the ratings or sales for that show or publication.

This is how self-righteous works in practice: Here are a few examples: the person without tattoos or piercings decries those who do as defiling their bodies; the person who may tell white lies, says "at least I did not commit perjury"; the person who hates, says "at least I am not a murderer like Hitler", the "petty" thief says, "at least I am not Bernie Madoff", arguably the most hated man in America right now; there is always some "other" whom we think we are not as bad as, in an attempt to make ourselves feel better about ourselves and gauge our sense of self and righteousness. But the fact is that these tricks only perpetuate an illusion which fosters arrogance and prevent compassion from flowing towards others...The flip side of this type of self-righteous behavior occurs when we always assume that others are not as "fortunate" as us because they did not always follow the right rules like we did. We never really know the depths of real compassion until we see the depths of our own fallibility and the need we all have for God's grace.

Happy Independence Day Weekend!!

Go Venus Williams & Roger Federer!!!

2009-06-26T08:23:00.000-07:00

R.I.P. MICHAEL JACKSON (1958-2009)

There are musical superstars, and there is Michael Jackson. We truly lost a legend yesterday, and I must admit that I shed a tear for the deceased star. I can't think of a musical genius and entertainer that has had the kind of impact that Michael Jackson has had on the world of music. I lived in Nigeria when Michael Jackson was at the peak of his career, and I can attest to the fact that he was as big of a star there as he was anywhere else in the world. He revolutionized music not only with his tantalizing moves, but also with his revolutionary videos like "thriller" which made music videos a staple in the careers of today's artists. Whether you watch contemporary acts like Usher, Justin Timberlake, Omarion, Britney Spears, Chris Brown, or even his baby sister Janet, his influence is all over popular music. But as they say, there are many imitators, but only one original.

"Off the Wall" was one of my first albums that my dad bought for me, and till this day my favorite MJ album, followed closely by the record breaking "Thriller", which still stands as the biggest selling album of all time. But Michael's music spans across generations and cultural boundaries. His early hits with his brothers (The Jackson 5) like "I'll be there", "Sam", "I want you back", "ABC" are still as great today as they were in the 70s.

I will never forget the sweet memories of me and my brothers trying to emulate his moves while listening to one of his albums or watching his videos.

Michael, you will be missed, you were a global icon without equal. Yes, you were eccentric and had your issues, but maybe now you can rest in perfect peace. Thanks for the memories, you will live on through your music for decades to come.

2009-06-24T08:08:00.000-07:00

Unconventional Spiritual Truths

Here are some spiritual lessons I have learned in the 20 plus years since I became a Christian. These are lessons that I wish I had learned sooner, but as is often the case, we tend to learn the biggest lesson in life at moments of crisis and pain:

1) Being a Christian does not give you immunity from life's trials and struggles: I remember being a naive and young 15 year old, who had just "accepted Christ as His Lord and savior" after being witnessed to by some friends in Secondary School, and thinking that "if I just obeyed the Bible to the best of my ability" I would be immune to life's trials. I have since learned that no matter how long you have been "walking with God' there is no such think as immunity from trials. You can learn to live with joy in the midst of tribulation, but the ups and downs of life are a given.

2) All suffering is not always a matter of reaping what you sow: How many times have we heard someone quote the ever popular verse from Galatians 6:7 about reaping what we sow. While this is a general principle that applies in many cases, it cannot be used as a one size fits all formula to explain all incidents of suffering. Are children born to abusive parents somehow "reaping what they sowed"? Are children born with birth defects of severe chronic illness "reaping what they show"? Are all citizens who are victims of dictatorial authoritarianism reaping what they sowed? If a woman is viciously assualted and raped and left with phyical and emotional scars, is she "reaping what she sowed"? If a plane crashes and all passengers die, does that mean they were all "reaping what they sowed" because they were somehow the most notorious and devious people alive in their communities? These assumptions would be ludicrous and absurd, and Jesus even dispelled this notion in Luke chapter 13:1-4 and when he talked about a man that was born blind (John 9:1-5)

3) The message of God's grace is the core of the Gospel, but it is very hard to fully comprehend: Within the last 10 years, I realized that the core message of the Gospel is the good news of God's grace - God's one way love for humanity which is NOT based on our ability to perform for him. This message, however, is very hard to teach and almost impossible for the human heart to comprehend because we live in a world which is filled with so much "ungrace" or conditional "love" that is doled out based on performance. So the end result is that most Christians know about grace in theory, but deny it in practice, which is quite unfortunate, because there are so many hurting people in the world who need heavy doses of God's grace.
There is nothing I can do to enable God to love me more, nothing I can do to make him love me less. This is really a phrase I got from reading Philip Yancey's "what's so Amazing about grace?" This is an extension of point #3 above and simply means that we don't gain lose our status as God's children based on our behavior, while it is true that behavior does have earthly consequences, it is a misleading notion to think that God accepts or rejects us based on anything other than the love expressed through Jesus. If we were to be judged based on our behavior or attempts at obeying the Bible, we would all be in bad shape.

4) The church is almost always in a struggle against self-righteousness: One of the constant struggles in Christendom is whether to really accept our total dependence on God and His message of Grace or to erect self-righteous monuments to ourselves where we accept or reject people based on their perceived obedience to Biblical Law. Once you understand what it really means when the Bible says that "we have all sinned and fallen short of God's glory" (Romans 3:23) you quickly realize that while I may be able to lovingly try to help someone who is struggling with self-destructive habits or thoughts, it is not my job or anyone else's for that matter to condemn that person, because we all have our issues that we struggle with, everyone from the pastor to the lay person in the pews. Unfortunately, however, self-righteousness - the notion that I am more acceptable than you because I keep certain aspects of Biblical law - is such a rampant and subtle temptation in religious circles that one can easily get swept away in it. The goal, however is to always remember our own flaws, not in a spirit of self-flagellation, but to keep us humble and prevent us from condemning others.

5) All Christians have their humbling "thorn in their flesh": I borrow the thorn in the flesh phrase from the teachings of the Apostle Paul where he talks about some affliction that plagues his soul in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. We never really get to know what this "thorn" is, but we do know that God, for whatever reason, does not take it away. Paul says this experience keeps him humble. When you get beyond the neat little masks that we often wear to hide our flaws, you will quickly realize that even in the most religious settings - especially in the most religious settings- we all have our unique struggles and thorns. It no longer shocks me to know that some of the people whom we assume have it altogether struggle in ways that we would rarely imagine. The fact that we thrive despite these issues is a testament to God's grace.

Stephen O. Akinduro

2009-06-10T12:19:00.000-07:00

FAVORITE 25 MOVIES OF ALL TIME:

I wanted to write about something a little “lighter” for my latest blog entry and take a slight departure from the weightier spiritual topics. Other than playing tennis, watching movies and listening to great music (and occasionally getting my dance on) rank as my favorite hobbies. I was recently in a conversation with someone about our all time favorite movies, and I tried to come up with a top-10 list, but I couldn’t; there were just too many to mention, so I came up with this list. So here it is. This is not to say these are the best all time movies (because it would take a movie critique who has watched practically all movies to debate that question), but of the movies I have seen in my lifetime, here are my 25 all-time favorites. They are sorted by release date, from most recent going backwards:

1. Gran Torino (2008: Clint Eastwood): I consider this to be the best movie released last year, with all due respect to Slumdog Millionaire, which won the honors at the Oscars. This is Clint Eastwood at his vintage finest in a truly moving story of a man stuck in his ways, having to face his own bigotry later in life because of some unforeseen events.

2. Far From Heaven (2002: Julianne Moore, Dennis Quaid): the bottom line of this movie is set in the 50s is that it would be better to be gay (even this was also highly taboo then also) than to be involved in an interracial relationship. A stunningly beautifully told story with the All State Insurance commercial guy, Dennis Haysbert, playing Julianne Moore’s love interest. It is a sad story in the end, but a reflection of the times in which the movie is set.

3. Training Day (2001: Denzel Washington, Ethan Hawke): When I first saw this movie, I remember coming out of the theater thinking, “I can’t believe Denzel’s character was that bad and corrupt!” Being so used to seeing Denzel play the hero and savior in his movies, this was a revelation as to the true depths of his acting genius, playing the corrupt detective who is involved in some shady deals to cover his tracks while trying to simultaneously training a rookie. Denzel showing another side to his acting chops!!

4. Gladiator (2000: Russell Crowe): Russell Crowe has emerged as one of the great character actors of his generation, as evident in this great story of a former military leader forced into exile by the actions of his nemesis, only to later turn into a slave and then liberator of his people. It is a classic heroic story with a great theme; a reminder that even in supposed “defeat”, one’s life can still have tremendous meaning.

5. Life (1999: Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence): This movie brings together two of the comedic icons of their time in a great story about an unlikely friendship that goes through its turbulent ups and downs after a wrongful conviction. Great comedy with too many stars to mention, including the late great Bernie Mac. And who can forget the character called “can’t get right”?

6. The Insider (1999: Russell Crowe, Al Pacino). What would you do if you were a scientist for a top corporation and had insider information about your company’s practices that you knew were unethical and ruining the health of billions of people all over the world? This is the question that is asked and answered in this brilliant story based on the real life events surrounding the tobacco industry and the revelation that they knew that they were boosting the addictive nature of their product with chemicals to maximize profits, even though the medical evidence showed the destructive nature of cigarettes. If you want to know the true story of why you can barely smoke anywhere now in the developed world, watch this movie. Truly Fascinating.

7. Hav Plenty (1998: Christopher Scott Cherot, Hill Harper): A small indie film that did not make lots of waves at the Box office, but is simply a delight to watch because it so captures the essence of the challenges in young professionals trying to find love. The story follows the life of a young aspiring novelist who ends up needing the charity of a good female friend, and tracks the tale of their unlikely romance. One of those great stories that is so true to life.

8. Love Jones (1997: Nia Long, Larenz Tate): there are very few positive movies that capture romance between young and upwardly mobile professional African-American characters, but this one does. It is such a beautifully written story and it depicts the crazy games we often play in the name of “love” with such authenticity. Two young lovers caught in the web of rebounding from past hurts and also trying to open their hearts again. Add the beautiful and talented Nia Long to the mix and you have an all time classic.

9. Titanic (1997; Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet): The movie that now ranks as the highest grossing movie ever is worth the hype. The makers of the movie used a touch of sheer brilliance by throwing in the fictional love story into the tragic tale of the sinking ship. The love story itself, is a tale of liberation, and the reason why the movie probably did so well. This is one that was worth the hype.

10. Liar Liar: (1997: Jim Carrey). Jim Carrey is a great comedian, and Liar Liar is one of his finest films. It is hard to pick my favorite Jim Carrey movie, but this one ranks right up there. Carrey’s genius lies in his ability to do body comedy, in the tradition of Steve Martin and his talents are on full display in this family comedy.

11. Sling Blade (1996: Billy Bob Thornton): In my opinion, Billy Bob Thornton’s finest movie to date. Capturing the chilling but moving story of the mentally challenged Karl Childers, with his peculiar accent and eccentric habits (his love for fried potatoes & mustard being one of them). It is really a story about friendship, how family tragedy tends to follow us throughout life, and the extents to which the human soul will go in search of a quite place of serenity. Captures the paradoxes of the human spirit like few movies do.

12. Friday (1995: Ice Cube, Chris Tucker): This movie has become a cult classic in the black community. There is barely any black person from generations X and younger that cannot recite whole lines and phrases from this day in the life of Craig and Smokey. A great comedy that undoubtedly launched Chris Tucker’s career. The sequels were good, but nothing tops the first one.

13. Leaving Las Vegas (1995: Nicolas Cage, Elizabeth Shue): This is a story that can only be described as a flawlessly tragic love story. It is tragic for obvious reasons; it is the tale of a drunk who decides that he wants to kill himself, because he can’t make life work for himself. It is tragic because even though he finds love in the person of a prostitute who is also fighting her own demons (and they thus find acceptability in each other) he refuses to get the help he needs to get better. Watching this movie, I am reminded of the fact that the best stories don’t always give us fairy-tale endings (otherwise we would not have writers like Shakespeare and Leo Tosltoy), but capture the brutal complexities or life.

14. Crimson Tide: (1995: Gene Hackman, Denzel Washington). A truly intelligent submarine movie. Two commanding officers clash because of their egos and different philosophical views on the subject of war and are forced to confront their vulnerability as they head to the brink of nuclear disaster. One of my favorite lines from the movie is the line uttered by Denzel’s character when he says, “In my humble opinion, in the nuclear world, the true enemy is war itself."

15. The Lion King (1994). A true animation classic; This tale of the cub Simba coming into his own after a family feud that leads to tragedy is a movie I have watched quite a few times. And although the graphics look tame compared to the CGI work that we often see in today’s animation, it is still a great animated movie with a heartwarming story. There are jokes in the movie for adults and kids, and the story is for everyone. This is an all time Disney Classic.

16. Forrest Gump (1994: Tom Hanks): Sheer brilliance in filmmaking. What makes this movie so great is that it is a comedy, drama, romance all tied into one and keeps your attention for the entire movie because it is so entertaining. Merging the story with real events from the times makes it even more believable. Although Gump’s southern accent seems a little too forced watching it now, it is still a great movie.

17. Malcolm X (1992: Denzel Washington). Spike Lee’s finest work and truly a great biopic of the controversial yet iconic leader Malcolm X. Denzel becomes Malcolm in this movie, in his mannerisms and speeches. Whatever you think of the iconic leader, you cannot help appreciating this great film by Spike Lee.

18. My Cousin Vinny (1992: Joe Pesci, Marisa Tomei): Just too funny of a comedy; this upstart lawyer (Joe Pesci) trying to defend his cousin after being wrongfully charged in a murder. Marisa Tomie’s character steals the show as the unlikely auto-mechanic and girlfriend who knows a little more than expected.

19. A Few Good Men (1992: Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, Jack Nicholson): We all remember the now classic line “you can’t handle the truth!” uttered by Jack Nicholson’s fiery character in this movie. A classic movie that shows that the truth is almost always very hard to dig up because of the hidden agenda of all those involved who have too much to lose if the truth is revealed. Great military thriller.

20. Jungle Fever (1991: Wesley Snipes): The subject of interracial relationships is not really one that you can tackle easily, as evident by the way many critics panned this movie, but Spike Lee, being the provocative director that he is, has always been able to make movies that at least spark a conversation. I think more than anything, while one can argue that the main characters in this movie lack depth, it does capture the racial stereotypes that fascinate people when it comes to the issue of interracial sex, especially as far as black men is concerned. I was really young and naïve when I first saw this movie, but now I really get it.

21. Coming to America (1988: Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall): Now this is really one movie I have truly watched countless times. You could turn the volume off while watching this movie, and I could probably recite the whole script for you. This is Eddie Murphy at his funniest, back in the 80s when he was the biggest comedy star in the world. Truly great writing and great story. One of my all time favorite comedies, without a doubt.

22. Richard Pryor: Live in Concert (1979); There are few standup comedians who can rival Richard Pryor when it comes to standup comedy. VH1 recently did a special naming the 100 greatest standup comics of all time, and he came in #1, to no ones surprise. If you want to know why, you have to see this comedy special. Many contemporary comics (Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle) got their style from Pryor and you can see why. His comedy rings as true today as it did decades ago. Pryor was a genius on stage!

23. The Godfather (1972: Marlon Brando, Al Pacino): I remember this being one of the first VHS movies my dad bought. When I was younger, I really did not understand it and wondered why he watched it so much. But when I got older, I could not get enough of it. It is the gangster movie by which all others are mentioned. There have been many imitators, but there is only one Godfather. The script is truly classic, and most guys can rant of whole section of the script from memory.

24. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (1968: Clint Eastwood): I don’t typically like Westerns, but I can watch this western over and over again. Great story, with Clint Eastwood at his timeless best. The score to the movie is also timeless, even contemporary artists like Jay Z have used it in their songs.

25. The Sound of Music (1965: Julie Andrews). During any major holiday season, I find myself surfing the channels looking for this movie, because I know it is going to be shown. I grew up watching this movie and it has become such a sentimental classic for me. It is a great musical about family and finding love. Truly timeless.

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2009-06-02T08:58:00.000-07:00

Supporting our troops and helping them with the war within.

8 days ago, last Monday, we celebrated our annual Memorial Day, a day when we pay tribute to the brave men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our nation, through service in any branch of the armed forced. As we salute the many men and women who have died in wars from the present and the past, we must not forget the heavy price that many of our veterans are paying when it comes to their mental health and sanity. Recent reports in the national media have underscored the escalating rate of suicide amongst military personnel. The crisis has gotten so bad in some circles, that Fort Campbell had to shut down for three days recently to address to suicide epidemic that took the base by storm. See this link for details:

(http://www.kypost.com/content/news/commonwealth/story/Suicides-On-The-Rise-At-Fort-Campbell/G-isCZBdpEm4amMHPeRvkA.cspx

In a time when the phrase "support the troops" has become a cliche to denote a political stance or ideological affiliation, it would behoove us to move past pious platitudes and talking-points to really showing our troops the empathy that they need to assimilate back into society, especially after they've served multiple tours of duty, a feat that is bound to have a huge emotional toll on any person. Regardless of what your political affiliation is, we can all agree that the many men and women who are serving the nation in the armed forces are doing a terrific job. But many of them have a hard time readjusting to society after battle, having to face serious bouts of post-traumatic-stress-disorder (PTSD), and yet being asked to function as normal when most of them have experienced the kind of trauma from war that is not easy to just "get over." I remember watching one such soldier on a TV documentary about the lives of returning soldiers, and he talked about how he felt like he was a killing machine who could not find the "off" button; even the slightest of aggravations was likely to make him snap; and here he was being asked to be a "normal" and "calm" individual in a 9 to 5 job. He was not only having a tough time keeping a job, but his relationship was on the rocks...Studies have shown that most of the suicides that occur are due to the ensuing relationships problems that these soldiers face once they get home.

Supporting the troops has to become more than a bumper sticker slogan and a conservative vs liberal political debate. Thankfully, there was a hearing about this very issue earlier in the year on Capital Hill, as our elected officials have taken notice of this rise in suicides in the armed forces. But please remember, if you have a loved one or friend who is in the armed forces, show them your unconditional love and support, and be patient and empathetic with them, especially when they have time to come home. They may never be able to openly voice some of the horrors that they have experienced in war, because war is never pretty, but they will always appreciate the love and support from family and friends. This may be the main difference between life and death and may help them get over the stigma that prevents many from seeking the professional help that they need to function again in society.

For more details about this story, you can check out this CNN article that was published a few months ago:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/03/18/military.suicides/

Stephen O. Akinduro

2009-05-08T08:26:00.001-07:00

A word about "Mother's Day"

Mother's day is this Sunday. Let me first of all wish all the Mother's out there a wonderful mother's day and God's blessing in your life. May you truly understand and appreciate how much you are loved, not just by your own children, but by the community in which you reside.

Mother's day has always been a special day of celebration. No family member gets as much appreciation as much as "mothers" do. You want to start a fight on a playground? Then start "janking" on someone by talking about their mama, and it's on! A man may be as macho as they come, but when it comes to their mama, he can turn into a baby in an instant. All these accolades are well deserved, for as the legendary Soul man himself James Brown once said, "It's a man's world, But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman ......!" Mr. Brown was right, because with all the patriarchy that still exists in society, there is something about that maternal touch that cannot be replicated. It is the reason why after almost any huge award ceremony, after the recipient has thanked God and his or her sponsors, mama accolades are not far behind.

I have been blessed in my life to have many "mother" like figures in my life, including my step mom, who I fondly call mother. My biological mother passed when I was very young, and because of the circumstances of her death, for a very long time, I was ashamed to talk about her, or even think about her consciously. My mother took her own life; the taboo that exists around the subject of suicide is huge, especially in the black community, where it is erroneously assumed that "we don't do that type of thing." Within the past few years, however, I have come to an acceptance and full appreciation of who my mother was, not counting her death against her, because she was going through issues that I could not have understood as a child. Maybe it is my own inner struggles, or battles with my own "demons" that finally forced me to come to terms with my past, and those unpleasant memories that made me so ashamed of remembering my mother. But eventually, I realized, that our past experiences do have an effect on our lives and to deny this is only to live a lie and try to hide from the obvious.

Recently, I was talking to a good lady friend of mine about the subject of love & romance, and she asked me a poignant question, She said "could it be that you have never been married because you are scared of true intimacy, or scared that if you really love a woman the way you loved your mother, she would leave you like your mom did?". I was stunned, not by the question, but by the fact that someone who barely knew me could read that well into my soul after just a few conversations. She had hit the bulls eye and I had to give her credit for doing so. It is not easy for a grown man to admit that he has issues, unless those issues break him down to a point of submission, like in an MMA fight.

So even in these tough economic times, mother can still get lots of love. I believe one of the reasons why the book "the Shack" by William P. Young did so well, especially amongst Christians, is because it touched upon a characteristic of God that we often don't hear much about, even in church, and that is "His" maternal instincts. Of course, this brought many critics out of the wood works with implications that Mr. Young was trying to distort the Bible to fit his own theological agenda, but why would a book about suffering and comfort have had such an effect on people and stayed on the Bestsellers list if it did not resonate with the yearnings of many hurting souls?

Let's continue to cherish the love and support that the mothers in our lives show us.

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2009-05-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

Bart Ehrman's books, and the problem of pain and suffering

Over the past few years, I have really come to respect the writings of Bart Ehrman. Mr. Ehrman is the James A. Gray professor of religious studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and he has written the New York Times bestsellers. "Misquoting Jesus", and "God's Problem - how the Bible fails to answer our most important question, why we suffer". I am currently reading his recent release "Jesus Interrupted" and have been truly intrigued by the fact that most of these contradictions in the Bible and Bible manuscripts are known by Biblical scholars and yet they are often not taught or purposely ignored within the church. On the surface, these contradictions may not seem to be major, but they exist nonetheless, and eventually make you wonder what people mean when they say "the Bible is inerrant". But to even think of this question, as some assume, is to question God, something that is considered heresy in many circles, even if my explicitly. Can one still find the Bible to be the inspiring without assuming that it is inerrant? Just asking this question may put you in the league of "flaming liberals" who are assumed to be going to hell.

I stumbled into the writings of Mr. Ehrman years ago after doing an Amazon search for a totally different book; when I saw the subtitle of his book "God's problem" , I knew I had to read it. It is truly a great book that I wish all preachers and clergy members would read, not only because of his own honesty, but because of the level of scholarly research that was put into it. I have not come to the same conclusion that Mr. Ehrman has come to. I still have faith in Jesus, while he is now an agnostic; He used to be a fundamentalist Christian who went through the whole range of experiences, Bible College, born-again experience, disdain for liberal interpretations of the Bible etc. But upon further scholarly studies, he became an agnostic, mainly because of the problem of pain and suffering. I still do respect his writings, however, because in a time when the Bible has been reduced to a "formula for success", it is refreshing to read a meticulous examination of the fact that the Bible is not a linear book that can be read like you do a well written thriller or math problem. I guess you can say that the reason why I appreciate the writings of Mr. Ehrman is because for too long I have literally felt that I was on the verge of madness for not being able to "obey the Bible" to solve my inner problem of pain and sorrow.

I remember when I first picked up one of Mr. Erhrman's books. I thought that he was some flaming liberal who was trying to discredit the Bible as some form of heresy. I quickly realized that this was not the case at all. If anything, Mr. Ehrman shows more seriousness in exploring the Bible as a true scholar than many people who profess to be "Bible believing born-again Christians" and in many ways this underscores the seriousness of his quest for truth when he was a Christian. I have no doubt in my mind that he once did have a born-again experience, and I have no doubt that he is not joking when he says that the problem of pain left him completely disillusioned. Some of his critics have said that he is writing with an agenda, an agenda to disprove the authenticity of the Scriptures or to nullify the conservative Christian agenda. I don't believe that those who say such things have really read his work. For one, he talks about facts about the Bible, who wrote it, conflicting messages etc that are often uncomfortable amongst devout Christians, because it appears to do so is to question God or the authenticity of the Bible. But if the Bible is the truth, why should we be afraid to put it through the ringer of textual analysis?

Maybe another reason why I also appreciate Mr. Ehrman's writings is because for the past few years I have been going through a spiritual transformation of my own. Some may call it a crisis, but I call it an evolution. I used to easily assume that I had the fundamental answers to most spiritual issues. Having accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior when I was 15, I became dedicated in trying to study the Bible from a devotional standpoint to know His word and know what to do. In so doing I came to certain basic conclusions which I assumed were a given: we suffer because we live in a fallen world, if you want to prosper or be blessed by God, obey the Bible or obey the teachings of Jesus etc. But slowly but surely my life and the deep and intense struggles that I faced, started to poke holes in my assumptions. Holes such as "if we suffer because we live in a fallen world, then why do we tell people that results in their lives are basically based on reaping what they sow? As if to imply that sometimes the wicked don't prosper (and get away with it) and the righteous don't suffer without explanation (one trip to a children's ward of any hospital will humble you)? Why do we tell people that obeying the Bible or the teachings of Jesus is the key to the successful Christian life when this is a literal impossibility, because it begs the question, which teachings? On one hand I can use some verses to justify killing you for disobeying certain parts of the Bible, but then I can turn around and use other verses to justify showing you mercy or grace.

One of the things that I value more than anything else in any writer's work is authenticity, and I can definitely appreciate where Mr. Ehrman is coming from. He is able to break down in layman's terms what those of us who never went to Seminary are curious about and sometimes wish preachers would be a little honest about. Unfortunately, I believe the reason why most preachers cannot talk about some of these issues with this level of frankness is that it may not help to fill the pews, and in the end, that does not really help the Institutional church's bottom line. Maybe that is the main reason why Mr. Ehrman's critics are so furious....

Stephen Akinduro

2009-04-24T12:00:00.001-07:00

Addiction, Spirituality, and Recovery.

“Don't judge any man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins” Native American Proverb

Is addiction a disease or a character defect? The answer you get will often depend on whom you ask. For those who have never been touched by the plight of addiction (or simply choose to ignore those who are struggling) and seem to wonder why "addicts" just simply won't get their act together and stop, it is easy to say that addiction is simply a sign of character weakness and the inability to channel your willpower to stopping something that is destroying your life. But for those who have seen the tyranny of addiction up close, either from personal experience or the experience of a friend or loved one, they know that the answer is not quite that simple.

There are all kinds of things that a person can be addicted to. There are some addictions that are more acceptable than others, depending on the context and culture you are talking about. Shopping, working, food, video-games, and sex for instance may not be considered harmful especially if you are a functioning-addict: someone who can be addicted and still function to a reasonable degree in society. We often pay more attention to addictions to chemical substances or alcohol. But there is ample evidence to show that addiction is a pervasive problem in our society, because in a capitalistic society, addiction plays an integral part of making more money. There are support groups now for practically every addiction under the sun, from video-games, to shopping......from sex to drugs...But the addict continues to be a vital part of the economy...By this, I mean, that an addict is a repeat customer for any particular product or service. If I am addicted to food, you can be sure I will often visit my favorite fast food joint or grocery store. If I am addicted to shopping, the mall will probably be my favorite hang-out....I watched a piece on the 700 Club yesterday where they were talking about the food industry and how it has changed over the years, to the point where addictive chemicals have been added to what we eat (especially to fast foods) over the year to give them that "I want more" feeling. Of course, when you say things like this, there is always going to be that person that says "well, no one put a gun to your head to go back for another Big Mac", but we cannot ignore the fact that there is an obesity crisis in this nation that is not helped by the addictive nature of many of our favorite fast foods.

What was that famous quote by Warren Buffett is known in many business circles?''You make a product for a penny, you sell it for a dollar and you sell it to addicts.'' This is a guarantee for success on the part of the entrepreneur, if I can make a product or service at the lowest cost possible, sell it for the highest price possible and find the potential addicts for the product, I will make a fortune. It is the dirty little secret that no one likes to talk about, because it forms the basis of our capitalistic society.

I have done a lot of reading and research on the subject of addiction lately. I know the adverse effect that my struggles with addiction have had on my life, struggles that I have talked about in detail in previous essays. And for too long, I lived in fear, shame and total disgust with myself because I wondered why I could not just "STOP"! Having done so much research on the topic, I now realize that telling an addict to just stop is almost like telling a fish to not get wet. There are many aspects to addiction that have to be dealt with. For one, ample evidence suggest that when a person actually becomes addicted to something, biological changes actually take place in that person's brain, so much so that the brain is tricked into believing that it cannot function without the subject of the addiction. Hence the withdrawal symptoms once "detox" starts. These biological changes vary depending on what the person is addicted to, but cannot be ignored. For instance, I was shocked to read that there is a flood of release of neurochemicals in the brain of an addict to pornography that is similar to what occurs in the brain of drug addicts. (As documented in the groundbreaking book by Mark B. Kastleman, "The Drug of the New Millennium - The Brain Science behind Internet Pornography Use).

There will always be critics of this new field of research who insist that calling addiction a disease only gives "users" an excuse to continue their destructive habits. But I disagree. Just as some are more prone to other diseases like say heart disease or diabetes, some are also more prone to addictive behaviors which can be triggered by trauma in their lives. And just like a person who is predisposed to heart disease based in their genetics can "trigger" poor health by not eating right or not exercising, a potential addict can trigger their condition by using a substance or thing to mask pain or trauma (this is what I did in my case). But you would not tell a diabetic or person with a failing heart that they don't deserve treatment because they did not eat right or engaged in behavior that triggered the disease, so why would you tell an addict that.?

For too long now, I have had the opinion that is common in many religious circles - that addiction is simply a matter of moral willpower. But we realize that there is an added spiritual and even scientific component to addiction that makes simply "stopping" not as easy at it sounds. In the spiritual dimension, it is humbling, because it reminds you of your humanity and makes you less likely to judge others who are going through similar plights. What we are addicted to becomes an alternate god of sorts, because it exerts a level of control over one's mind and body that is not normal. I can honestly say that I probably would not be as passionate about the message of God's grace and forgiveness had I not had this struggle with addiction. Addiction has a weird way of taking you off of the podium of self-righteousness. I can relate to the Apostle Paul when he talks about "the good I want to do, I do not do, the evil that I hate I do" (see Romans 7:19).

The healing comes not only when we realize the spiritual reality and dimension of addiction, and the fact that God's love for the struggling addict does not cease, but also when we take into account the new scientific evidence that suggests that their are biological reasons that make sheer willpower an uphill climb. For some addictions there are medications that can be taken to reduce the "cravings" (take for instance the "nicotine patch" used by those trying to quit smoking), I have found that in my case, anti-depressants do help because most of my struggles were fueled by a chronic depression.

I just hope we get to a place where we can start to have more compassion on the mentally ill, especially those whom society has had a tendency to ridicule for simply not "getting their life" in order.

Sources:
Beautiful Boy (A Father's journey through His Son's addiction) - by David Sheff
Tweak - by Nic Sheff
The Drug of the New Millennium (The Brain Science behind Internet Pornography Use) by Mark B. Kastleman

Recommended viewing:
In-Treatment : the groundbreaking HBO series starring Gabriel Byrne
The Soloist : New movie out dealing with the effects of schizophrenia on a musical prodigy starring Jamie Foxx..

Stephen Akinduro

2009-04-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

The Million Dollar Question

It is the Million Dollar question, the question that forms the foundation for Evangelism in the Christian faith. The question is, "Are you saved?" I know you have heard the question before, it is the question that determines whether you fall into the category of nonreligious / casual Christian, or "Born again Christian". The assumption goes that if you are "saved", you are a "born-again Christian" and are more serious about your faith than those other Christians who are just content to go to church and go through the motions, if they go to church at all.

I would like to examine what it means to be "saved"; what are the inherent assumptions that come with being saved? For a very long time I could not understand why Christians seemed to be lumped into two different categories: the "born-again Christians" and the others who were not deemed to really be serious about their faith. Being born-again was like being the deluxe model of the "Christian" vehicle, fully "loaded" and "on fire" for God. But Isn't saying you are a "born-again Christian" a redundant statement? Isn't that like saying I am an American-American? But I am getting ahead of myself.

I grew up in the Anglican church. By the time I was 15 years old, I had been baptized (by sprinkling) and confirmed in the church (confirmation is a ceremony that takes place after you have taken some classes about Jesus' life and the Last Supper. Once you pass the class and are confirmed in a ceremony by the presiding Bishop of the parish, after which you can then take Holy Communion in the Anglican church. And yes, they use real wine for their communion, probably to the dismay of some Christians out there who oppose alcohol consumption completely).

At this point in my life, I understood that there were basic rules that God wanted us to live by, called Commandments, and I assumed that it was my job to do my best to be a good person to make sure that I made it to heaven, the ultimate reward for a life well lived. I did not really understand the significance of Jesus' life, death and Resurrection. But in October of 1986, two good friends of mine in High School broke it down for me. They explained salvation and why I needed to be born-again using what is commonly known as the "Roman path to salvation"; we have all sinned or fallen short of God's glory (Romans 3:23); God's law mandates that we should die and be eternally separated from him because of our sin, for the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23); but God has created a new plan,because he does not want us to die, he would rather that we be "saved" through his grace and the sacrificial lamb and sacrifice that is his son - Jesus (John 3:16-17); Jesus paid a price for us that we could not pay not because we earned it but because of his love for us (Romans 5:8); all it takes to make this gift a reality in your life and be "saved" from the eternal consequence of sin (hell) is to believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord and He died for you, and confess this with your mouth and you shall be saved (Romans 10:9-10).

So just like that, I sincerely placed my faith in Jesus about 23 years ago, and I became "saved". But I had no idea what that would mean for the rest of my life. Did salvation mean that I would no longer struggle with sin (I would soon learn the answer to that one. It seemed like in some areas I struggled more because I was constantly being convicted in my soul); did it mean that I was eternally secure and could not lose my status as God's child, or did I need to make sure that I maintained a clean slate of "no-sin" otherwise God would kick me out of the family in disgust? Did it mean that I had to do good deeds to make sure that I still made it to heaven, or were good deeds simply to ensure a reward I would get here and when I got to heaven? What if I sinned after being saved and forgot to confess that sin before I died, would that mean God would have to send me to hell? You can start to see the level of paranoia that I was dealing with..

In trying to make sure that I would stay "saved" and not lose any of the benefits of salvation, especially my stance as God's child, I would go through several elaborate spiritual exercises. The first one was making sure that I got re-baptized. This happened in 1997, after I joined a Baptist church and realized that in Baptist circles, being baptized by any other means other than immersion into the water does not count, because baptism is supposed to symbolize the burial of the old person (when you go in the water) and the Resurrection of the new person (when you are brought out of the water). So I got re-baptized. Then for while at the end of the last decade, I briefly attended a Charismatic church where a good friend of mine was the pastor, and there they believed in baptism of the Holy Spirit, a phrase that is often used to imply that we must go through two baptisms, one where we get dunked in the water (I had already done that), and the other one where we get the gift of the Holy Spirit. Some churches believe you get the Holy Spirit when you accept Christ, others believe you must go through a second baptism where you get the gift of the Holy Spirit (and in some cases start speaking in tongues as evidence that you got it.) So I would I go on another phase of re-dedication of my life to Jesus and asking him to fill me with the Holy Spirit.

This is just an abridged version of the many processes and phases of re-dedication, repentance, confession, and promises that I would make to God to try and stay on the straight and narrow so that I would not go to hell when I die. There is only one problem with all of this. Doing all of these things never really gave me any a firm assurance that I would not sin anymore, which is the main thing I was trying not to do, I felt that the less I sinned, the more I would be guaranteed a spot in heaven. But what do you do when you are constantly reminded of your own imperfection? You either drive yourself and those around you crazy with your incessant perfectionism, or you accept that God's grace means that we are accepted even in our imperfection. This is the main reason why I am now so passionate about the message of God's grace, because it is the heart of the Gospel, which ironically we often ignore. I am constantly reminded of the story of that thief on the cross to whom Jesus said, "today you will be with me in paradise" (Luke 23:43). In this true story we are reminded that this thief - who was being crucified next to Jesus - acknowledged that he deserved the punishment for his crime, while Jesus did not because he was innocent. The thief never had a chance to get baptized (not that we know of), he never had a chance to be on probation to show that he was truly sorry for what he did; he was being killed, and yet Jesus says that he will be with him in paradise on that very day. What was the basis for his "salvation" or going to paradise (heaven)? Was it his good deeds? His promises of never stealing again? His first, or second baptism? No, it was none of these things, he was accepted by God because of Jesus and his love & sacrifice.

I think too often we place too much emphasis on what a person "does for God" as the basis of their acceptance by him, as opposed to what he has done for us. It is a totally different paradigm and the difference between self-righteousness and humility. If I inherently believe that God accepts me because I am "trying to be good" by obeying his commands, going to church, not cussing, not drinking, no tattoos etc, then I will have a self-righteous attitude towards anyone who does not keep my set of rules. If on the other hand I acknowledge that, even at my best, I am still fallible and my acceptance by God has nothing to do with my ability (or lack thereof) to keep his laws, then I have a more humble approach towards other people, especially those who struggle like I do (and trust me when I say, there are areas of my life where I really struggle).

So maybe the real question we should be asking is not "are you saved' but what difference the love of Jesus is really having in our lives and in our communities.'

Stephen O. Akinduro

2009-04-15T12:10:00.000-07:00

Is "Christianity in America" dying?

Browsing through some of my favorite magazines last Thursday evening at Books-A-Million, the cover story for "Newsweek" magazine jumped right out at me. It declared: "The Decline and Fall of Christian America". At first, I thought I may have been seeing things, so I dropped the sports magazine I was reading to pick up the Newsweek and read further. And I find out that the article - written by John Meacham - did in fact suggest that we are entering some sort of post-Christian era because for the first time in our history, the percentage of people in this nation that identify themselves as non-religious has entered the double digits (going from 8% in 1990 to 15% today); the article basically focuses on results from a 2009 American Religious Identification Survey (you can read the entire article by going to this link http://www.newsweek.com/id/192583)

I believe that John Meacham - a writer whom I admire because he tends to be objective - used some hyperbole in this article because I don't really think we are now a post-Christian nation. Some would even suggest with the increase in spiritual yearning during these tough economic times, that church attendance is booming more than ever in many circles, especially in "non-denominational" circles. More people in America still identify themselves as Christians compared to any other religious affiliation, even though the number has dropped from 86% in 1990 to 76% now. The survey also found out that the majority of those who identify themselves as non-religious live in the NorthEast, to which I know many conservatives would suggest is because of their liberal political views (lol). I do think, however, that the situation is a little more complex than the article really suggests.

I don't think it is so much that we are entering a post-Christian era in America, but I do believe that there is a spiritual revolution going on, even in Christian circles. For too long now, there has been this not-too-subtle suggestion that to be an Evangelical Christian in America means that you are supposed to have a specific political view and ideological outlook (so much so that some even wondered how you could really call yourself a Christian and vote for anyone not a Republican). But this narrow outlook on the complexities and subtleties of our lives negates to acknowledge the fact that certain demographics, while staunchly conservative on most moral/cultural issues, are more liberal on social/civil rights issues. For instance, some analysts said that the reason why proposition 8 passed in last year's elections in California was because even though most African-Americans voted for Obama, they voted for proposition 8 because most people in the "black church' are firmly opposed to gay marriage. This just goes to show that the labels that we often use to describe people and their political views are not always completely appropriate or clear cut, because we are not all on one extreme or the other as the media would love to suggest.

We are often led to believe that we are either in complete agreement with the likes of Bill Maher, Keith Olbermann and their co-horts in the "liberal media" or we completely agree with the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Fox News and the talk show hosts on conservative radio. But neither side is a complete arbiter of the truth, and it is so unfortunate that the nature of politics suggests that you can NEVER admit that your side is sometimes wrong and the other side sometimes right, because politics at its very core is about winning and demonizing the "other" side. That is why the term "bi-partisanship" will always be an oxymoron. To even remotely agree with the opposition in any arena is political suicide.

This is why we are having this subtle shift in the spiritual lives of many people in this nation. More and more voices that refuse to box Jesus' message into a political corner are emerging. I think of authors like Brian McLaren (Everything must change), Frank Viola (Pagan Christianity), David Kinnaman (UnChristian), Wayne Jacobsen (So you don't want to go to church anymore), Dan Kimball (They like Jesus but not the church), Cornel West (Democracy Matters), Micheal Eric Dyson (Can you hear me now), Jim Palmer (Divine Nobodies), William P. Young (The Shack); these are just a few names that are transforming the way we see Jesus' message played out in our society. I once read that if your "god" hates the same people that you hate, then you can be sure that you have created God in your own image. And for too long now, we have used our faith as a demarcating tool to determine who the "enemy" is, and that enemy has one word marking his identity - liberal. But as I study the teachings of Jesus, I am struck by two things - one, he said "my kingdom is not of this world", in other words, I don't operate the way the world operates, you see "love" as a reward to be earned, I love even the most "despicable amongst you" (hence his affinity for attracting the most notorious sinners of his day); secondly, without fail, it seems that the more religious a person was during Jesus' day, the more that person despised him. Could it be that religion at its very core, being rooted in self-righteousness, tends to hate the message of Jesus because it takes us off our illusionary pedestals that say "I am better than John Doe or Jane Doe" because I believe "x" or do "y" and they don't?

There is a lot of hyperpole in suggesting that Christianity is dying in America. I just don't believe this is true. And while there is no doubt that this nation was founded and highly influenced by Judeo-Christian principles, it is not completely accurate to say that we are a "Christian nation" because the Bible is not our Constitution. We are neither completely secular nor are we completely religious, and we should be glad that our Constitution protects the rights of a person to worship God or not to worship him. Seeing the way that religion incorporated as Sharia law in some Muslim countries, trust me, we don't want to live in a nation that adopts a certain religious belief as law, because then the question becomes, which "brand" of Christianity do we adopt: Lutheran? Catholic? Methodist? Baptist? "Non-denominational', Anglican, Presbyterian etc? Which theology? Calvinist, Arminian etc? Besides, do we really want to strictly enforce some of the Laws mandated in the Old Testament, like stoning women to death for adultery, a practice that, believe it or not, still takes place in some devoutly religious nations of the world? Even if we found a way to somehow make every command in the Bible a legal mandate in this country, it would not necessarily make us more moral, it would only heighten fear and increase the level of hypocrisy.

Hopefully, we will get to a point where we stop making rash judgments about one another based on our perceptions of other people's spiritual beliefs and simply realize that any spiritual journey that takes you away from loving others and seeking to put compassion into practice eventually does more harm than good. I believe this to be the central message of the Gospel of Jesus...

Stephen Oladotun Akinduro

2009-04-09T07:57:00.000-07:00

WHY DOES GOD LOVE US?

We celebrate Easter this weekend; those of us who profess to be followers of Jesus commemorate His death, burial and Resurrection. We believe that He went to the cross to pay the steep price that we owe for our sins and fallibility. But what is the significance of this whole weekend in the grand scheme of things? Why did He subject Himself to such pain and torture after living such an altruistic life?

To answer this question, it is only appropriate that we ponder on why God really loves us. We throw the word "love" around so casually these days that the word has lost most of its luster and beauty. We talk about love when referring to everything from our favorite dish to our favorite entertainer or celebrity. When I say something like "I love German chocolate Cake", or "I love Tiger Woods" I am referring to my appreciation for the way German chocolate tastes and my appreciation for the genius of Tiger Woods on the golf course. In other words, there is something inherent in the object of my love that causes me to say that I love it / him / her. This misunderstanding when it comes to the word love is bred from a culture that places all of ones value on performance. So to even begin to imagine that real love could come without conditions or strings is not even fathomable to most of us. But this is exactly what God's grace is all about, as author Paul Zahl (of the book "Grace in Practice") says so eloquently, Grace is God's one-way-love. It is love that is given to us freely, without conditions and without reference to how well the person can perform. Of course, when you say that, there is the inherent assumption that you are giving someone the "license to sin" and do as they please. But the irony is that forced love is not really love at all, but coercion or duress. And the truth is that even at our best, we are still like a baseball batter that bats .400. That may be great, but it is still not perfect and means they miss 6 out of every 10 pitches thrown to them. Our fallibility seeps through our pores even when we think that we are impressing others.

This concept of unconditional love totally baffles the human mind, because in our estimation, we only "love" those who are "worthy" of our love, and by that we mean "perform well enough to earn it". But therein lies the reason why there are so many spiritually exhausted people out there today, we have not really appropriated that God's love for us is not based on our performance and that Jesus values us just the way we are, so we can come to him unvarnished with all our issues and not fear that we will be scorned in disgust. And when we can't fully accept the notion of God's one-way-love, it is almost impossible to truly love others....

As author Jeff VanVonderen says so eloquently in his book "Tired of Trying to Measure up":

..."Never before have there been so many "how-to" seminars and books (on everything from prayer to potty training, it seems!) in which Christians are told they will find the "key" to closeness with God. And never before have so many spiritually tired Christians been wounded and in need of counseling. Trying hard is not the solution. When someone becomes a Christian, he or she has a brand new identity as a child of God because of the cross of Christ. But the truth is, people are affirmed in our society, in families, and even in our churches for what they do, not for who they are. " (from the book "Tired of trying to measure up").

The world's formula for a person's worth is something like this:

your worth = your performance + other people's perception of you.

But is this really accurate? Not if you examine the teachings of Jesus. Jesus turned this formula on its head when He implied that even the least of those in our society are welcome at His dinner table, because God's love for us just is. If you are asked the question, "why does God love us" and you give reasons that even remotely imply that He does because of what we do, then you are missing the central point of God's grace - which is the central message of the Gospel. God's love for you is a constant, not because of anything you do or don't do, but because of who He is, it's that simple. This is truly a liberating fact which if accepted would prevent us from damning one another with the self-righteous games that are so often played today!!

HAPPY EASTER!!!
Stephen O. Akinduro